Son arrested opened KIK account
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We got the knock at 7am yesterday morning (8/12/22), police had a warrant to search the house due to someone in the house opening a kik account and viewing, downloading IIOC, total shock but my 21 year old son admitted it was him! Police took him away along with laptops etc!
I picked him up from the police station 5 hours later, he has been given a simple phone with his SIM card in and told they will call him every month with an update. Not charged, not bailed.
How is this happening, I thought my son was a normal man that had girlfriends but now he tells me he has a porn addiction and is descensitised which led him onto harder porn and IIOC! I am so sad, he is the nicest boy with such good morals (so I thought)!
I love him so much but don't know how to act around him, I am disgusted at what he has done but also want to protect him, be there for him and help him through this process. He is ashamed and said he will never do it again. The images are of very young children, wtf!
He gave a no comment interview, hasn't been charged, yet as I know he will.
I have watched 24 hours in police custody and have always said "if that were my kid I would disown him" but I love him with all my heart and I can't turn my back on him. My other son is 18 and keeps trying to make excuses for why his brother done it.
any advice would be really appreciated, many thanks x
I picked him up from the police station 5 hours later, he has been given a simple phone with his SIM card in and told they will call him every month with an update. Not charged, not bailed.
How is this happening, I thought my son was a normal man that had girlfriends but now he tells me he has a porn addiction and is descensitised which led him onto harder porn and IIOC! I am so sad, he is the nicest boy with such good morals (so I thought)!
I love him so much but don't know how to act around him, I am disgusted at what he has done but also want to protect him, be there for him and help him through this process. He is ashamed and said he will never do it again. The images are of very young children, wtf!
He gave a no comment interview, hasn't been charged, yet as I know he will.
I have watched 24 hours in police custody and have always said "if that were my kid I would disown him" but I love him with all my heart and I can't turn my back on him. My other son is 18 and keeps trying to make excuses for why his brother done it.
any advice would be really appreciated, many thanks x
I'm sorry you find yourself here. For the first couple of weeks maybe even months it is a constant battle with yourself and your thoughts. My husband was the same secret porn addiction that led to this. We are now gladly out the other side 18 months on. Please use the helpline for both you and your son even his brother it will help loads. I wouldn't count on a lot of communication from the police they like to say this but really they enjoy taking there time because they can. I hope your ok we are all here if you need to talk
First of all sorry your here in this club noone wants to be in, second, what a wonderful mum you are to try understand your son, third, just because he's did this doesn't make him a bad person, he's just did a bad thing and fell down the rabbit hole. It's so fresh right now for you, it's takes a while for the shock to susude but I promise it does eventually. Please ring the help line and also encourage your son to do this. . Me and my person got a lot of support through our GP too. Try not to tell too many people, onky I es you'll truest because you'll be surprised by people's reactions and this takes a long long time to all be over (we are almost two years sentencing in Jan) in the meantime, look after yourself, your family and encourage your son to get as much help as he can xx
Emma12345
So sorry you have found yourself here but it is the best place to get advice and support
It is early days so try not to let your thoughts race ahead, easier said than done
Your son will be in shock and he probably won't want to open up and talk
Remember this is a fraction of him ,
My son was 26 when we got the knock and our world fell apart
I know my son is not a bad person he just got lost in his secret life, I don't condone what he has done but be is my son and I will always be there for him xx
So sorry you have found yourself here but it is the best place to get advice and support
It is early days so try not to let your thoughts race ahead, easier said than done
Your son will be in shock and he probably won't want to open up and talk
Remember this is a fraction of him ,
My son was 26 when we got the knock and our world fell apart
I know my son is not a bad person he just got lost in his secret life, I don't condone what he has done but be is my son and I will always be there for him xx
Thank you so much, as much I don't wish this on anyone else it's such a relieve to hear from other "normal" people that are going through it, when you think of the P word you certainly wouldn't imagine that person looking like my son! My son is being open and honest with me which I guess is a good thing. I am forward thinking, what if it hits the papers, what if he goes to prison! This is scary stuff! Xx
Emma - Your son is no P - remember he's exactly the same as he was before just made terrible mistakes/judgements which he is being totally honest about.
i found it hard my son held a job, was loved and trusted by his family - was looking at this filth in our family home, right under our noses. Behaviour that sadly developed.
You will overthink everything - but try to slow down and live/take each day at a time, so easily said than done, I'm with Upset on this one! Don't be swayed by other peoples views and prejudices, do what you feel is right.
My heart reaches out to you xxx
i found it hard my son held a job, was loved and trusted by his family - was looking at this filth in our family home, right under our noses. Behaviour that sadly developed.
You will overthink everything - but try to slow down and live/take each day at a time, so easily said than done, I'm with Upset on this one! Don't be swayed by other peoples views and prejudices, do what you feel is right.
My heart reaches out to you xxx
Emma12345, so sorry that you find yourself here - my story is very similar to yours. My son was also 21 when he got the knock, popular, high-achieving, happy; and then suddenly we were thrust into this dark world.
My advice is take time to breathe, don't panic, don't tell anyone yet and arm yourself with information. When you need to vent, this is the place to do it.
Sending huge hugs x
My advice is take time to breathe, don't panic, don't tell anyone yet and arm yourself with information. When you need to vent, this is the place to do it.
Sending huge hugs x
I'm so sorry you're here, nothing hurts more to a mother than what happens to our kids.
My person was not my son, but I've learn so much about this and categorically say that it's genuinely not his fault. And I say this as a survivor of child sexual abuse myself.
I've educated myself to prevent this happening again with my kids later on, and couldn't believe how naive I was about the power of Internet porn. Back in our days, it was only magazines and videos, now there is access 24/7 anywhere anytime to all sorts of filth you can imagine and you don't even have to seek it for it to get to your devises at times.
It messes with people's head, and sadly your boy has grown up in this boom of internet access that we as parents haven't caught up with to help them navigate. It's scary, it really is.
I won't sugar coat it, this journey is crap. The waiting game is the worst as your mind goes in such overdrive.
Take as much care of yourself, sleep when you can, go to your GP at the first sign of struggle.
Big hugs x
My person was not my son, but I've learn so much about this and categorically say that it's genuinely not his fault. And I say this as a survivor of child sexual abuse myself.
I've educated myself to prevent this happening again with my kids later on, and couldn't believe how naive I was about the power of Internet porn. Back in our days, it was only magazines and videos, now there is access 24/7 anywhere anytime to all sorts of filth you can imagine and you don't even have to seek it for it to get to your devises at times.
It messes with people's head, and sadly your boy has grown up in this boom of internet access that we as parents haven't caught up with to help them navigate. It's scary, it really is.
I won't sugar coat it, this journey is crap. The waiting game is the worst as your mind goes in such overdrive.
Take as much care of yourself, sleep when you can, go to your GP at the first sign of struggle.
Big hugs x