Family and Friends Forum

HI Mata,

Welcome to the club that we all never asked to be in.

Take it day by day and when you are both ready tall about it if you can. You are only a few days into a very long journey I'm afraid but the helpline are great and we are all here whenever you need to vent or just ask questions- none of us are qualified but we are all at different stages in the process so someone will have a good steer on any questions you have.

Is husband on bail or is he under investigation? Do you have children?

Tttkit

It took me a good few days to be able to listen to my husband without wanting to throw things or shout.

Do the kids know anything is going on?

The simple answer is that you just have to take it a day at a time and no one can tell you what to do you just have to work your way through with what you feel is right at that moment in time.

I would suggest seeing you GP to see if there are any counselling services locally as you may need someone to talk to so that you can process all the stuff that this issue throws at you.

Keep checking in and talking, it will get better I promise, it won't go back to normal but it will get better:)



Ttkit

Hi Mata

I'm over a year into this nightmare and totally understand your wanting to be told what to do.

I can remember in the early days I would be driving and wishing I had a car accident, not to particularly hurt myself but so is be in hospital and other people would have to make decisions for me.

Unfortunately when you don't want to make any decisions generally your do have to make some, all I would say is don't do anything you don't want to, keep coming in here and 'speaking' with us, take time out for you, try not to make hasty decisions until the initial shock has sunk in. Perhaps visits your GP, mine was fabulous and still is

Take care xx

Post deleted by user

Post deleted by user

Dear Mata



I am so sorry you have to go through this. It is painful but day to day life gets a bit easier. Then there are moments it all comes crashing down again. I too am questioning my relationship 17 years. I feel like it us all based on a lie. I am nearly 5 months down the road and most days are ok. I keep going to work because it distracts me.



Be patient with yourself. You have every right to be furious. You are definitely not worthless. None of this is your fault.

Post deleted by user

I've been reading posts and they all sound very similar to what I'm going through. Assuming the knock means the police knocking on my front door ,I had that in January at 6.15am. My husband is under investigation for one indecent category 3 image. He insists he knows nothing about this and I am standing by him because I really don't think he would do this intentiall. He has since admitted he looks at pornography on a regular basis and had done for years, e have been married 30 yrs this summer. I am struggling as to where we go from here. I feel I have been more affected by it than him We have spoken about separating but it depends on the outcome. As time goes on I feel more angry at him for the upset it has coursed me and my family. I have s close support network of family and friends but they all emotionally attached to me and I feel I can't always say what I really feel because I feel I'm being judged and worry about who I'm upsetting weather it's the right decision for me. I have tried to explain to my husband that even if the investigation does come back ok, this is not something I will just be able to forget. I have talked to the doctor and I'm taking anti-depressants for anxiety and mood. Four months in and I still have ups and downs and go through lots of emotions.We were told it could take up to 6 months. I'm shocked as to how many of us are in this situation. I apologize for rambling on