Being forced to tell my children
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Hi
I feel like we are nearing the end of this ordeal, sentencing at magistrates end of Jan.
I spoke to the SW today about my OH coming home, she has said that she doesn't see how that can happen without my children knowing, in order to protect themselves.
I feel like they are making me chose between him coming home and me traumatising my children.
Has anyone had their person home without telling their children? My little two are 7&8. My son has ASD.
I feel like we are nearing the end of this ordeal, sentencing at magistrates end of Jan.
I spoke to the SW today about my OH coming home, she has said that she doesn't see how that can happen without my children knowing, in order to protect themselves.
I feel like they are making me chose between him coming home and me traumatising my children.
Has anyone had their person home without telling their children? My little two are 7&8. My son has ASD.
We're currently in the process of trying to get my husband home he was sentenced a few weeks ago. Nobody has mentioned me telling our children but they are only two and four so I'm not sure if that's why
Hi, I'm not as far as you, we're 6 months into this journey husband still RUI. I didn't have a choice in telling my children, our SW told them without me being there she didn't even tell me afterwards that she had told them. It was only until my daughter asked my husband whilst on FaceTime, then got really upset as she thought she had done something wrong she's also waiting for a referral for asd assessment so was quite distressing to her.
I didn't want to tell my children yet as I feel they didn't need to know. I was too scared to complain as I was worried they would make our life's difficult.
I didn't want to tell my children yet as I feel they didn't need to know. I was too scared to complain as I was worried they would make our life's difficult.
It really seems to me that there is no consistency with SS.
That's terrible I'd be annoyed if they went to speak to my oldest in nursery without me being there.
There really isn't any consistency with them. I've been waiting on a new date for her to pop round this week she randomly turned up at lunch time and said sorry she's late to which I said I didn't know you was even coming. We've had 18 months of them being involved so far and the information she gives at home visits and cin team meetings is like it's day one she had no clue. She's determined that our case is being closed in the new year so we will see
There really isn't any consistency with them. I've been waiting on a new date for her to pop round this week she randomly turned up at lunch time and said sorry she's late to which I said I didn't know you was even coming. We've had 18 months of them being involved so far and the information she gives at home visits and cin team meetings is like it's day one she had no clue. She's determined that our case is being closed in the new year so we will see
There is defo lack of consistency across the different SS in this country.
as far as I am aware my partner's kids do not know the whole story - far too young (7 and 9). They have only been told daddy was very naughty and isn't allowed to live with them anymore.
We are working on getting him contact, the SW hasn't said she expects the kids to be told anything more as such, may need to reword the justification to explain why he can't hug, be alone and do other things they would expect from their dad. It should be assessed the impact disclosure would have in the kids.
SS are going to request an assessment on the risk my partner has on his kids, and the risks to them for reconnection - I would hope your SW would be suggesting the same and not push for the kids to be told. Surely agreeing to teach them about safeguarding would suffice- I know no parent wants to do do this but at those ages it might be worth (if not already) teaching about personal boundaries and speaking up. There are books on how to address this.
as far as I am aware my partner's kids do not know the whole story - far too young (7 and 9). They have only been told daddy was very naughty and isn't allowed to live with them anymore.
We are working on getting him contact, the SW hasn't said she expects the kids to be told anything more as such, may need to reword the justification to explain why he can't hug, be alone and do other things they would expect from their dad. It should be assessed the impact disclosure would have in the kids.
SS are going to request an assessment on the risk my partner has on his kids, and the risks to them for reconnection - I would hope your SW would be suggesting the same and not push for the kids to be told. Surely agreeing to teach them about safeguarding would suffice- I know no parent wants to do do this but at those ages it might be worth (if not already) teaching about personal boundaries and speaking up. There are books on how to address this.
Hi,
Has she said what she wants to say to them? I'd say at 7 and 8 knowing what areas of their bodies are private and having a safety network of adults they feel comfortable with to talk to if anyone does anything that makes them feel uncomfortable is more than enough to minimise the risk. I'd argue that disclosure at these ages could pose more of a risk of psychological harm to them than ss perceived risk from their dad. Although I probably wouldn't word it like that to them. What work have you done with the kids so far? xxx
Has she said what she wants to say to them? I'd say at 7 and 8 knowing what areas of their bodies are private and having a safety network of adults they feel comfortable with to talk to if anyone does anything that makes them feel uncomfortable is more than enough to minimise the risk. I'd argue that disclosure at these ages could pose more of a risk of psychological harm to them than ss perceived risk from their dad. Although I probably wouldn't word it like that to them. What work have you done with the kids so far? xxx
There is no evidence of contact offending and the evidence shows that my OH did not seek or search for these images. He is Bi-curious and was chatting to like minded men. The images were shared with him.
Unfortunately, he was in active addiction when this happened and was often in charge of the children while I was working when it happened.
I think SS are concerned that my children were included in face time chats, although there is no evidence of this.
I plan on getting legal advise once he is sentenced. Specially if the SHPO does not restrict him seeing our children.
Even prior to this event, I have always been open with my children about appropriate behaviour, private area's, limiting Internet access and not forcing physical contact with adults (even hugging family).
Unfortunately, he was in active addiction when this happened and was often in charge of the children while I was working when it happened.
I think SS are concerned that my children were included in face time chats, although there is no evidence of this.
I plan on getting legal advise once he is sentenced. Specially if the SHPO does not restrict him seeing our children.
Even prior to this event, I have always been open with my children about appropriate behaviour, private area's, limiting Internet access and not forcing physical contact with adults (even hugging family).
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