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Why a gesture means so much

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Thu December 22, 2022 4:52pmReport post

Evening everyone

So nearly at that time of year and for most of us it brings mixed emotions

Today at work someone left me a bottle of wine and some chocolates on my desk with a note to say (he knows my situation)

A small token to say thank you for been such an amazing strong person , how he cannot believe how I have coped at work with everything that has happened he said he would never have known what I was dealing with if he didn't know

I know this journey is horrendous, but through all of this I am really appreciated and it meant so much

xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Thu December 22, 2022 5:18pmReport post

That really is lovely - But also well done on appearing to be able to function! You come across and extremely strong and resilient. You are right these gestures that show empathy for the situation we find ourselves in, really do touch us with such warmth.

I met a family on prison visits, seeing their warm and knowing smile on visits was such a huge comfort and they made the whole experience much more bareable. On their last visit (their person served their time) they gave me a small gift, a card and an open invitation to call whenever I needed. It was such a touching gesture. Equally though I have a friend who asks about him and checks on on me, this has meant a huge amount to me - I'll be eternally grateful for the kindness and compassion she's shown to me with these small gestures and providing me a safe space.

I hope you and your family have a lovely visit on Saturday.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Thu December 22, 2022 5:32pmReport post

Thank you SAL

At times I have nearly given up but I haven't my son needs me and so do my amazing other 2 young adults

How lovely is that family to do that honestly I can totally relate to what you have said

We have met a lovely lady on visits

When my son was on remand I felt so on edge on visits as it was mixed but now it is so different, most people talk and Smile

I wish you the warmest of wishes this weekend

xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Thu December 22, 2022 6:30pmReport post

That's lovely Upset - just a little compassion/understanding in our journey means the absolute world, priceless and gives you such boost.

have a good visit come Christmas Eve x

Edited Thu December 22, 2022 6:31pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Thu December 22, 2022 6:44pmReport post

It does Smile and thank you x

May your Christmas be warm with love and let the laughter outweigh the sadness

And I will hug my son in the same way you would yours, he will moan Mum that hug is to tight and I will say I know but this hug is for the sons and partners that are in the same situation and its even more important as its that time of year ,and I know he will hug me back even tighter and say it means so much that we have you xx

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Thu December 22, 2022 8:31pmReport post

Thats lovely upset mum! So nice when people are supportive of you.

my work colleagues don't know what I've gone/going thru and I think they think I am a gibberish emotional wreck for no reason.



have a lovely Xmas x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Thu December 22, 2022 8:58pmReport post

Jayjay

As much as I hate this journey I have been open and honest x the more we talk about it it has to be a good thing x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Fri December 23, 2022 3:08amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat December 24, 2022 6:22am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri December 23, 2022 4:37pmReport post

It's not silly at all Smile x

Just a few people are aware at my place of work but they have been so supportive so I am truly grateful, x

Sad and confused

Member since
November 2022

32 posts

Posted Fri December 23, 2022 9:51pmReport post

Upset mum



thars so lovely, I really admire those that can confide in someone. The only person I can talk to about it is my husband so I feel very alone. I am such an outgoing person with lots of friends and gorgeous kids who I share everything with so it's bloomin' hard to keep it to myself. I just daren't risk telling anyone a) out of utter embarrassment and b) I just don't want anyone to turn on him (which I know is a bizarre thing to say). Regardless of what May or may not come back from his devices I know he is a good person who is 100% not a P!



Sending love to all on here who find themselves on this horrible journey!!

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

634 posts

Posted Fri December 23, 2022 9:55pmReport post

To be honest, I often wonder how many, of all the people I know, are going through the same thing but they haven't told me. I mean, so many people are being arrested for internet based sex offences, there must be a good chance, statistically speaking, that each of us knows someone, other than our family member, even if we don't know (if you know what I mean), especially if if we have a fairly large circle of friends, relatives, work colleagues and aquaintances.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 5:37amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat December 24, 2022 8:57pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 8:57amReport post

Ladies,

Again all I can feel is the understanding and the genuine compassion each and everyone of you wonderful humans show

Our loved ones are far from what society is quick to label them as , my son is an offender but this does NOT define the person he is and neither does it define your loved ones

I wish each and every single one of you Christmas Warmth and just to say you are all incredibly strong , and Amazing

Today we have a visit with my son and his beautiful sister and his brother are going so our first small family time together in 16 months I will cherish today always

Only happy tears are allowed today

Smile I wish you and yours love and a sprinkling of happiness (no tears allowed)

Hugs to you all xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 11:56amReport post

Upset - have a good visit. I bet your son will be so excited with a family group visit.

will be thinking about you x

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 1:14pmReport post

Upset I hope you have a wonderful visit today with your son and how lovely that his brother and sister will be there as well I'm sure it will mean the world to him.

Hug him tightly and hug yourself too -you are one amazing Mum xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 8:43pmReport post

Smile and Seaside

Thank you both so much

It was more than I could have asked for

We are so used to me and his sister hugging him but it made my heart ache when my son and his brother hugged, we talked, we laughed and it was so good to be together

Then leaving both the boys hugged so tightly

I thought my heart would burst xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 8:53pmReport post

That's so lovely Upset.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 9:01pmReport post

Smile x

It was beautiful to see

I gave my son a hug for you and your son xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 9:28pmReport post

Bless your heart x

i have been a bit down today but I do try to count my blessings. I haven't seen my boy but he's not neglected or abandoned. Our relationship remains strong.

At the beginning my son said he'd face up to what he's done and he has - coped so well with prison.



There's no illness, we live - we breathe and that's what counts more than anything at the end of the day. The future - well that'll take care of itself.

Edited Sat December 24, 2022 9:30pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 9:39pmReport post

Smile

I know how you feel but you hold your head high and be strong

Your son is loved by you and that is certainly clear to see

You may not have seen him but you are there every step of the way with him

I am fortunate that I get to see my son but if they didn't have us I could not imagine how difficult it would be

There are so many that have no contact

How sad is that

So get up in the morning, and enjoy your day with your family and your son will be in your heart always xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 9:48pmReport post

We'll chat too - no doubt about the delicacy of a prison Christmas dinner which will probably be supported by a kettle meal later .....

Thankyou for your support - your comments have really helped me today.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 10:00pmReport post

I know the food is not great and my son has a eating disorder so he depends on the canteen

But the inmates are aware and they swap some of their food for him,

He is going to call tomorrow so will no doubt say how crap his xmas day meal is a slice of Turkey maybe but I can tell him be grateful as for the first time in years my daughter and her boyfriend is cooking, I usually cook so will probably get the shits lol but a small price to pay not having to cook lol xx