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ROTL - home for Christmas

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Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Thu December 22, 2022 11:28pmReport post

I've not been on here for a while as life took over. After my husband was sentence Oct 21 (3 years but out in April 23) I've had to sell my house, move and figure out finances, and I never dealt with anything like this before!

He started off in a Cat B but quickly moved to Cat C. After 6 months was moved to Cat D which is where he currently is.

Last month was his first 'get out of jail free' card, where he came home(his mums) for 3 days. He is due home again over Xmas.

I still love him dearly, we've been married for nearly 30 years, but can't have him move back with me while he's on ROTL or released. There is so much trust he has to rebuild and after 14months living on my own, I've built such a huge protective barrier around myself.

I've not been sleeping well for the past 3 nights because he's due home again over Xmas (again, staying with his mum) It seams to bring everything to the forefront of my mind and I feel like I need to start dealing with my emotions all over again.

We are spending Xmas together, along with our grown up daughters and his mother, but I know my head will be scrabbled.

He will always be part of our lives, I love and care for him too much, but I'm trying to work out just how he will fit into our lives once he's out in April.

Any advice is truly appreciated xxxx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Fri December 23, 2022 6:20amReport post

I remember your case me it's similar to mine, I've no advise as we have sentencing on 5th Jan, just wanted to say I've thought about you often and wonder how you were xx

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Posted Fri December 23, 2022 11:34amReport post

Hi MW I just came across your post. I can resonate with your story because we also had to sell our home and now I am trying to deal with the financial side of everything and raise our little baby. My husband started his custodial at the beginning of Novemeber. He got 30 months and will spend 15 months in prison and 15 on licence. Its so nice to read someone's post who is coming to the end of a custodial sentence. We are about a year behind you and my husband will be released in February 2024. It feels like ages away. I hope you have a nice Christmas and things start to feel easier for you in the New Year xx

BusyLizzie

Member since
November 2019

104 posts

Posted Wed December 28, 2022 12:26amReport post

I thought they weren't eligible for rotl with this type of offence?

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Wed December 28, 2022 8:29amReport post

I'm interested in being ROTL it's not something we hear about on here. My person said his prison doesn't allow it for safety reason, but some on his wing had been moved to a different prison because they wanted it.

BusyLizzie

Member since
November 2019

104 posts

Posted Wed December 28, 2022 10:57amReport post

Ah yes I was getting confused. You can only get rotl if in a cat D prison I think, it's not necessarily to do with the offence. I remember now, for us it seemed to defeat the point as the cat D prison was much further away.

I think I was getting rotl mixed up with being released early, cuz SOs aren't eligible for that.

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Wed December 28, 2022 11:09amReport post

I think you can be ROTL in Cat C, the non VP wing is allowed ROTL. We are undecided whether to try for Cat D /move to somewhere he can be ROTL - It seems such a gamble, he's settled where he is and we are making it work but it is a strain and I do wonder if it be helpful for him and us to have a little bit more time together, especially to discuss and arrange the future.

Yep, thet can't be released on tag 90 days early.

I hope things are going okay for you. I think you release is a few months away for you but getting closer.

Edited Wed December 28, 2022 11:10am