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Thinking of the many of us on here

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SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 12:07pmReport post

Thinking of the many of us on here that are carrying sadness and uncertainty this time of year, putting on a brave face and doing their best to paint a normal picture, avoiding questions and holding back the truth.

I'm just getting ready for a family event and as I put my make up on and search for something to wear, which is going against every grain of what I want to do, I realise I'm covering up more than just the recent nights of little sleep and the weight I've gained since this all started, I'm trying to portray a completely different truth.

I hope that everyone in here manages to find some joy over the next few days and to anyone that is struggling, these days will pass and as well the added emotion and pressure it brings - You aren't alone and be kind to yourself xxx

Edited Sat December 24, 2022 7:35pm

LilyRose84

Member since
October 2022

77 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 2:08pmReport post

Thanks SAL.
Sending love and strength to everyone one of us on here ?? xx

We don't deserve to be in this position but we are doing our best xxx

Bettyboo65

Member since
June 2022

339 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 2:39pmReport post

Best wishes to all on here and all their persons be it sons, husbands, partners.

All emotions are raising their ugly heads with us right now as it is 14 months since the knock and my person has gone downhill and is back at square one with emotions, depression, everything else in life, it's almost as if the past 14 months of therapy, talking,trying to move on havent happened and it's the knock all over again :( waiting is inhumane and torturous.

Take care everyone and stay safe this christmas xxx

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

390 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 5:46pmReport post

Wishing you all a good Christmas and a safe start to the New Year. I think we can all agree that this Christmas is different, but we have to stay strong. Take care everyone, love and hugs xxx

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 6:17pmReport post

Wishing u all the best u can have at this time of year xx love and strength to u all xxxx

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 6:21pmReport post

Hi Sal and all on here,

This year/situation is extremely difficult for all of us and I hope you manage to find at the very least a speck of joy and love, if not from others please know you have it from me.



My children's and my Christmas consists of not having my oh/kids dad home for the first time but I'm trying to stick to as many traditions as possible, though this year we are having microwave roast dinners as my son is extremely fussy and won't eat a roast so to make my life easier (and I just don't have the energy just yet to cook a massive meal), kids have their presents and Santa will make a call for them. I don't promise that I won't be full of sadness but I will be doing my best for them.

I hope you all have a good Christmas and just do your best, you are all amazing people , love to all xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat December 24, 2022 8:34pmReport post

To each and everyone of you

SAL I can imagine how difficult it was for you today having to get out but I hope you have had a nice time x

To the mums with younger children going through this journey and having to do it without you other half, may the sadness be overtaken by warmth and love and strength x

To the mums of offenders you are all incredible,

Today I had a visit with my son, and his older brother was with us it is usually just me and his sister, the first time we have been together in 16 months , it was the best present I could have wished for and it will remain with me forever,

Sending you all warmest of wishes for tomorrow

Xxx

RIG22

Member since
September 2022

138 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 12:25amReport post

Merry Xmas everyone. X

Losteverything

Member since
September 2022

216 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 2:08amReport post

Does anyone else feel furious with their person because as a result of their disgraceful behaviour, Christmas is ruined??

I have felt cross all day and even resorted to sending him photos of last Christmas in order to make him feel guilty. Now I feel bad for doing that. I know he knows what he has lost.,,, but I've lost it too and it's not my fault!!!!
I just hope that this time next year, life will be different for me!
sorry for the rant. No help to anyone I know!!

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 3:42amReport post

Losteverything

You have a right to feel hurt and angry not one of us have had a choice to be here but yet we are

We lash out at the ones we love but yet we feel guilty for doing so

It is an horrendous situation for us all

Sending hugs xx

Losteverything

Member since
September 2022

216 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 3:45amReport post

Thank you Upset.
It says everything that we are awake at 3.45am!!!!

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 5:04amReport post

I have just put a washing machine load on made a cuppa and put the presents under the tree

Keeping busy xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 5:04amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun December 25, 2022 5:05am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 6:22amReport post

Hi ladies - I do feel angry with my son too, for upsetting the lives of so many people, but I do my best not to hound him with truths only a sprinkle now and then!

Stuck in prison with two years left to do he's enough on his plate and he seems to cope well. He's got a job, on enhanced status, and always sounds upbeat so I really don't want to rock the boat. It would be much more difficult for me if he was depressed or feeling there was no hope left.

It's bloody hard not to show anger and I certainly wouldn't feel guilty about it.

Edited Sun December 25, 2022 6:38am

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 7:50amReport post

You mums are amazing for the support you give your boys. For your sons to know they have you, no matter what, must give them the best chance at a better life when they're released.



lost I know how you feel. There is a part of me that still loves my husband but I'm also angry that he's caused so much pain and upset in our lives. Christmas won't be the same, we have family staying so he can only come round to see our kids while the others go out. I worry about him as he doesn't have the same circle of support that I have and I imagine his Christmas is going to be quite lonely, but part of me thinks, well it's his own fault.

Tabs

Member since
November 2019

501 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 8:35amReport post

Thinking of you all today. I always find the day one of most difficult. This is my 4th Christmas on my own.


Year 1, I was in a state of confusion and felt numb, he had left our home after vigilante sting and livestream, I didn't know what to think.

Year 2, covid hit, and I had a very lonely Christmas, cried all day, was unable to see anyone, it was clear then, as he gradually disclosed his activities, that our marriage was over.

Year 3, my small family came together for Christmas Day, as we lost my brother that year, so a day of sad reflection, and empty places at the table.

This year I'm going to friends and will be with their young children. I'm hoping that seeing their joy and innocence will lift me as I have had many challenges to face yet again, my mother being very poorly, is one of them. But I have hope. I have hope that I will once again become happy, content and peaceful. I just have to keep going, make the most of my life, look for the positives and remember to be grateful for the many wonderful people still in my life.
Wishing you all the very very best xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sun December 25, 2022 8:52amReport post

Can I wish Lee a merry Christmas if she still keeps an eye on us xxxxxxx