Just Sharing my Story
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Hello all,
So I became part of our 'club' that none of us asked to be a part of two months ago. My partner (of 8 years whome I'd lived with for 6) did not arrive home from work and was not answering his phone or texts. We'd had a normal weekend (it was a Monday) and the last I saw of him was when we both went out to work as normal that morning.
I decided to go out to look for him and returned home to find it being searched by police, they had entered with a warrant. They explained that he had been arresred but could not, at that time, say why. My story has a lot of similarities with others I have read on hear though mainly it seems people are there for 'The Knock' which I wasn't. I found out the following the day when police rang me to tell me. I work with children and explained to police I did not want him bailed to my address because of this, he has since been bailed to his parents address and is there at the moment. I had to disclose this immediately to my employer as I work with children. I took a few days emergency leave and dealt with practicalities as best I could such as taking his name of bills etc. I made arrangements for his parents to come and collect his stuff a few weeks later. Initially I had some contact with his Mum but I broke that off as she is very much in denial and seems to seeing him as the victim. She is acting like all of this has just 'happened to' him and in my eyes, it hasn't, he has chosen to do this and must face the consequences of his choices. I now haven't had any conact with his family for six weeks. This is my preference as I just want to cut him out of my life. Unfortunately due to our different relationships with him and different takes on it, this means I've lost touch with him family too though I do not blame them one bit, it's just an unfortunate consequence.
We have no children which I think is fortunate as I have not had to have dealings with SS and don't have the dilemma of him being a parent. I send my love to those of you in that situation as we were effectively just a couple, so it is easier to end it.
My decision to end my relationship was instinctive and easy - for me this is simply a 'red line' that once crossed cannot be recovered. I told the police officer straight away I don't want to see him and he could not come back to my address and the relationship was over there and then. I have huge respect for those of you who are supporting your partners through this. I know I couldn't.
Fortunately I have incredible support from my family, my employer have been amazing with me and I have told a few close friends. I am very sporty and active and love running and this is seeing me through.
I am seeing that I have actually come a long way in a short space of time. I will have counselling through work to help me deal with the emotional turmoil but in practical terms, I hope I am coming towards the end of the process.
The last thing to do deal with is to get him off the mortgage. I have instructed a solicitor to write to him about this and just waiting to hear back. Once this is done then all association with him will be broken. I am finding this part really stressful as it's just a waiting game. Just wanted to share it with others who understand. Once he is off the mortgage I won't have any further dealings with him and don't want to get involved with supporting him through the court process.
Sending love to all
Gemini
So I became part of our 'club' that none of us asked to be a part of two months ago. My partner (of 8 years whome I'd lived with for 6) did not arrive home from work and was not answering his phone or texts. We'd had a normal weekend (it was a Monday) and the last I saw of him was when we both went out to work as normal that morning.
I decided to go out to look for him and returned home to find it being searched by police, they had entered with a warrant. They explained that he had been arresred but could not, at that time, say why. My story has a lot of similarities with others I have read on hear though mainly it seems people are there for 'The Knock' which I wasn't. I found out the following the day when police rang me to tell me. I work with children and explained to police I did not want him bailed to my address because of this, he has since been bailed to his parents address and is there at the moment. I had to disclose this immediately to my employer as I work with children. I took a few days emergency leave and dealt with practicalities as best I could such as taking his name of bills etc. I made arrangements for his parents to come and collect his stuff a few weeks later. Initially I had some contact with his Mum but I broke that off as she is very much in denial and seems to seeing him as the victim. She is acting like all of this has just 'happened to' him and in my eyes, it hasn't, he has chosen to do this and must face the consequences of his choices. I now haven't had any conact with his family for six weeks. This is my preference as I just want to cut him out of my life. Unfortunately due to our different relationships with him and different takes on it, this means I've lost touch with him family too though I do not blame them one bit, it's just an unfortunate consequence.
We have no children which I think is fortunate as I have not had to have dealings with SS and don't have the dilemma of him being a parent. I send my love to those of you in that situation as we were effectively just a couple, so it is easier to end it.
My decision to end my relationship was instinctive and easy - for me this is simply a 'red line' that once crossed cannot be recovered. I told the police officer straight away I don't want to see him and he could not come back to my address and the relationship was over there and then. I have huge respect for those of you who are supporting your partners through this. I know I couldn't.
Fortunately I have incredible support from my family, my employer have been amazing with me and I have told a few close friends. I am very sporty and active and love running and this is seeing me through.
I am seeing that I have actually come a long way in a short space of time. I will have counselling through work to help me deal with the emotional turmoil but in practical terms, I hope I am coming towards the end of the process.
The last thing to do deal with is to get him off the mortgage. I have instructed a solicitor to write to him about this and just waiting to hear back. Once this is done then all association with him will be broken. I am finding this part really stressful as it's just a waiting game. Just wanted to share it with others who understand. Once he is off the mortgage I won't have any further dealings with him and don't want to get involved with supporting him through the court process.
Sending love to all
Gemini
Post deleted by user
Mother law and close family treat my ex partner like he victim told me can not have contact with him he in prison we have children No matter what ever I say is wrong my adult child thinks I should have contact with my ex parner there dad due to future in my youngest child but all they think he victim in this they ones who will support him. If I try talk about him tell me to be quiet not had much contact with my children part from when I have took them round I feel they in denial even tho 2nd time for us.