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Confused, scared and everything else

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Susie79

Member since
December 2022

10 posts

Posted Wed December 28, 2022 8:27amReport post

We had the police come round in the 15th dec, because of a report of indecent images.

my son is autistic and have ADHD. He is socially isolated and I was already concerned with friendships he has online and have reported this to social services (he has a care plan).

So he hasn't been arrested, interviewed but they have took his phone, Pc and iPad. They told us this would be a long process. They was here for 2 hours with a tech person going through his phone.
I just feel so alone been to social services asking for more support and they've refused (am actually putting in a complaint with they way we've been treated and the lack of support). Because of his ASD I know the more time goes on the more anxious he'll get and this is took out on me and my husband.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this and support him. I feel so alone and no one is willing to support us as a family.

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Wed December 28, 2022 12:59pmReport post

I'm just bumping this up as I'm concerned it might get pushed down the forum and missed.

There are a few other Mum's on here that have sons with additional considerations related to this crime. I hope one of them sees this.

I believe Daffodil has posted some useful resources and consideration in relation to autism.

Edited Wed December 28, 2022 1:00pm

Susie79

Member since
December 2022

10 posts

Posted Wed December 28, 2022 3:19pmReport post

Thank you Sal

any support or advice would be helpful every where I turn it feels like doors are being shut in my face

Edited Wed December 28, 2022 8:37pm

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

361 posts

Posted Thu December 29, 2022 12:58amReport post

Hi Susie

I am so sorry you find yourself here. If you put autism or autistic in the search box at the top of this page ( next to the logout ) you will be able to look through all the posts relating to autism and many of them will be relevent to you and your son.

I would also speak to the helpline and it would be good for your son to speak with them too. Have you spoken with your GP, if not it may be good for you to seek support from them.

Does your son use any services currently? If so they should be supporting him through this.

I am thinking of you and your son.

Edited Thu December 29, 2022 1:01am

Susie79

Member since
December 2022

10 posts

Posted Thu December 29, 2022 6:37amReport post

Hi Alison

Thank you for reply, before my post I looked at the search bar. There was some really useful information, I've ordered the book that was suggested.

we went to the GP today we just awaiting to see if he can start some medication along side his ADHD medication which hopefully will help his anxiety. The doctor signed posted us to a service within the local social care which doesn't operate anymore. Social care is refusing to increase his hours for support. Honestly everywhere I turn the door seems to be shut in my face.
Have to say the help line has been amazing the only place I don't feel judged or my son isn't being judged at all. We have got a one to one session booked in with them.

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

361 posts

Posted Thu December 29, 2022 7:32pmReport post

Hi Susie

I am pleased you have a one to one session booked with the helpline. If your son is able to do the inform plus course with them that would be so beneficial to him to fully understand how/why this happened.

If you son is under 25 you may also find YoungMinds a charity worth contacting if you are concerned about your son's mental wellbeing.

Take care

Susie79

Member since
December 2022

10 posts

Posted Thu December 29, 2022 9:58pmReport post

Again thank you Alison

this is having such an affect on the family, my emotions is all over the place. One minute I want to take on the world as there seems to be a lack of guidance and support for neurodiverse people, and I want to ensure that this doesn't happen to other families. Then in the next breath I'm ready to crumble the not knowing what is coming next, and not having answers for him I'm mum I always able to explain to what is happening next. Then im cross at him for whatever he has done then my guilt because what has he done he's not been arrested or interviewed.

Honestly I feel like I'm living through a nightmare

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri December 30, 2022 5:58amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri December 30, 2022 6:13amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Susie79

Member since
December 2022

10 posts

Posted Fri December 30, 2022 7:05amReport post

Hi Daffodil

So far social services has refused to review his needs, they said it's only just need one in October. They even told me my carers assessment is not going to be rushed. I'm have support from a local autistic charity, they have been amazing from connecting me with solicitors to provide extra PA support for my son. And they are going to help me logged a complaint against social services. I feel they have already labelled my son. I really thought they would be here for us as a family but should have know h is it going to be a fight after all everything for our children is a fight

I've just had the book delivered which has been suggested.

I have to say when the police arrived and we told them my sons needs they seemed very understandable. I do know this could change as all this carries on.

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri December 30, 2022 7:17amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri December 30, 2022 7:25amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Susie79

Member since
December 2022

10 posts

Posted Fri December 30, 2022 8:04amReport post

Daffodil

Thank you!!!

Im in floods of tears again, it's is true we have to fight for everything!!!
Socail services really thinks my son is far more capable because he has a job, I've had to point out he only has the job because of a supported internship he's done, he works for a small garage with just 3 employees which all have had training and support on how to work with my son. And I made it quite clear that if he loses this job he won't easily find another job.

Susie79

Member since
December 2022

10 posts

Posted Fri December 30, 2022 8:04amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri December 30, 2022 9:32am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri December 30, 2022 8:32amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Susie79

Member since
December 2022

10 posts

Posted Fri December 30, 2022 9:31amReport post

I know the feeling about making sure he get up dressed appropriately make sure he washes himself uses deodorant, brushed his teeth (which is a nightmare as it a sensory issue). And I suppose as a parent we don't realise how much they need us as we are just in auto pilot now and it's our lives. Me and my husband went on separate holidays last year because my son didn't want to go on holiday, so we adapted to ensure that someone is here for him.

He's had an IQ assessment done recently and it came back that he hasn't actually got a defined learning disability but he has got a working memory impairment. Although some areas he was quite borderline.

The support once they turn adults is diabolical, we went from having support from CHAMS since he was 6 to absolutely bare minimum once he turned 18 and it me fighting searches looking for all this all the time.