Family and Friends Forum

Hi Greenfly,

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, the waiting is unbearable and that's without children and social services! It can take anywhere from 3 months to 3 years - although the latter is extremely rare! There isn't much more you can do other than to routinely contact the police and solicitor for an update. Xx

The waiting game is indeed normal but the SS limitations seems quite too far considering the age of your kids.

Might be an idea to talk to SS about working towards a plan so he can have supervised access by you with less limitations.

I mean, your kids are one teenager and an adult, they are treating them like babies! Not fair.

Hi, our knock was a few weeks after yours , October 2021. The waiting is torture as you say, it's inhumane and these men are stuck in groundhog situation, unable to make plans or if they do make plans they're terrified every day of it being blown apart again :(.:

Hi, our knock took place end of July 22, husband was at work so they went and arrested him at work which is really annoying as he's now been forced to resign. I was left at home whilst they searched the house for electronics which was quite a shock and distressing... We were due to go Disneyland paris 2 weeks after as our daughter was performing there, he couldn't come which was devastating for her.

ss let him see our children (9,11) 5 weeks from the Knock but supervised only, they said I could supervise in the community and at his parents house but not our family home.

he has been bailed twice, Sw told me he would be bailed again so she closed our case, then end of October he was RUI. I don't think the sw expected this as she soon rang me to see if I'd let him back home. I told her I wouldn't let him move back but I will be letting him see the girls in our home as this makes it much easier for us as as family. She seemed happy with this, I also told her as he has no bail restrictions he will be coming to Florida with us in November, which we did and all was fine.



our case has been stepped down and we now have meetings every 6-8 weeks with the school, we're still waiting to be allocated a support worker.



is your OH on bail or Rui?? It seems every sw is so different. I would ask again if you can supervise contact at home even if it's a few hours.



i find all this waiting and not knowing the worst part, it gives me so much anxiety.

@Confusedwife, my husband has been released under investigation (accused of making and distributing of indecent images on KIK)

He's allowed to stay in the family home. During the day, I have to supervise him with the kids. At night, he has to sleep in a different room in the house and I have to sleep with the kids in one room.

My kids are 10 months and 2 1/2 years. It seems like every social worker handles this differently.

@hpl111



my husband too is accused if iioc using the kik app, he has since admitted to a porn addiction which is why he was on this app as he says it's full of adult porn which is what he was looking for, then he started chatting to guy. I also found out he is bisexual and was meeting up with men, we've been together nearly 14 years and never ever did I even think he was this way inclined.



he's told me this app is full of legal and illegal stuff, Iv seen so many people on here getting caught on this app. I don't understand why more isn't done to actually stop these awful things even getting on to these platforms.

It definitely seems the sw are all different, I think a lot of them use their personal opinions. I work nights at the weekend and my husband would be there to look after the children but now I have to rely on his sister and my mother law at the weekends to work, it's extremely stressful especially now as he has just been made to resign due to being arrested at work even though he still has no charges.

My person is RUI,has been for the past 15 months, it's awful too that this time is not taken into consideration at sentencing even though my person is trying to build on his life with the help of counseling but he always has this lurking and waiting to pounce and knock it all back down again. Under any other circumstances I'm sure it would've all been done and dealt with in less than 15 months. To mentally get over the suicidal thoughts and start to value life again is an achievement but there's no happiness, only worry of what is coming :(

I think that's the worst part of it all is the waiting and not knowing what's coming next, we're waiting for his phone to come back and to see what charges... im praying and hoping it's NFA but I very much doubt it!!

I have anxiety thinking about it, I feel like our lives are on hold for God knows how long. I worry about if he goes to prison how will my children cope, and how am I going to pay the mortgage by myself.

Ladies

This journey is horrendous

When our loved ones are RUI there is no time scale unfortunately

Our journey started May 2019 the day of the knock, the day our lives changed

My son was RUI for 16 months , he was suicidal from the day of the knock

This was the worst time for us all, we didn't know what this journey was about but yet we are here

We then had the second knock this time he was held on remand, it was so hard , he started to self harm, and I couldn't do anything to help him, I was so frantic and so worried was I going to loose my son,

He was sentenced, it was horrendous, sat in court on my own and seeing my son I could not hug him, but here we are on this journey

We are here and so is he xx