Emotions
Notifications OFF
Please can someone tell me when you start to feel normal again, do you ever get back to the person you was?
I'm struggling day to day, questioning everything about myself, wondering if people find out what are they going to think of me if I stay with my husband.
Should I stay with my husband? He has already started to get help and help himself but I think he's doing it all for me? What if I don't stay around, will he go back to everything?
I'm sorry to go on and as my gp told me the other day other people can't make the decisions for me but I need to speak to you guys as you know where I'm coming from.
Thank you xx
I'm struggling day to day, questioning everything about myself, wondering if people find out what are they going to think of me if I stay with my husband.
Should I stay with my husband? He has already started to get help and help himself but I think he's doing it all for me? What if I don't stay around, will he go back to everything?
I'm sorry to go on and as my gp told me the other day other people can't make the decisions for me but I need to speak to you guys as you know where I'm coming from.
Thank you xx
Post deleted by user
Hi Mata
It's so rubbish isn't it, the thoughts and emotions just go round and round in your head.
Early on I found I really hard to think of anything else but now, a year on, I can go for a few hours without, there is never a day I don't think of it several times though and sometimes something silly will have me in tears which annoys me as before this I was never much of a veteran, now, do of a hat!!
Your GP is right, we can't make that decision for you, only you can do that, all I would say is do what you want to do, don't stay because you think he won't cope, he'll have to get on with it, don't be entirely blackmailed into it but also, don't leave if you're only worried about what other people think, if you want to stay because you think you can work through it then do.
Whatever you choose it'll be tough and sometimes you will feel like throwing the towel in as it'll all get on top of you but you will find the strength to keep going, to keep getting up in the mornings and to keep living
Sending a virtual hug to you, you're found amazingly xx
It's so rubbish isn't it, the thoughts and emotions just go round and round in your head.
Early on I found I really hard to think of anything else but now, a year on, I can go for a few hours without, there is never a day I don't think of it several times though and sometimes something silly will have me in tears which annoys me as before this I was never much of a veteran, now, do of a hat!!
Your GP is right, we can't make that decision for you, only you can do that, all I would say is do what you want to do, don't stay because you think he won't cope, he'll have to get on with it, don't be entirely blackmailed into it but also, don't leave if you're only worried about what other people think, if you want to stay because you think you can work through it then do.
Whatever you choose it'll be tough and sometimes you will feel like throwing the towel in as it'll all get on top of you but you will find the strength to keep going, to keep getting up in the mornings and to keep living
Sending a virtual hug to you, you're found amazingly xx
Obviously instead of veteran I meant cryer - damn predictive text!
Things will become more normal and you will start to feel more yourself again, everyone is different and it will take time. You are still the person you were before this has just shaken the foundations of your life. These emotions may feel new and overwhelming but you can get through it, dont let this destroy you. Hopefully you will feel a better version of yourself, stronger and more in control soon. It's natural to worry what others think but you need to think what value these other people's opinions have in your life. What is more important their opinion or what you want for your life. How do you feel and what do you want. It's ok to be unsure, its ok to tell your partner you are unsure. For my partner I said i love you and you always have my help and friendship but I'm not sure if we still have a marriage, we do and we got through the toughest parts.its great hes getting help and I dont think he would stop that if you decided to leave. Give yourself time and space, until the police investigation is over life may be on hold but do all you can to learn about this type of offending, talk with the helpline, councellor, friends and family (if you are able to), other people have found the infirm course worthwhile, it wasn't really worth it for me but I did meet with a practitioner to talk which was very helpful. I still have days were I crash and cry but so far things are better and normal life has returned. You do what you want to do, even if that is to make no decisions right now.
Hi Mata
i don’t think there is a right or wrong answer - it is so individual. I am sticking by my partner but he has yet to be charged and so I am keeping an open mind about things. Early on I wanted to distance myself from him as I didn’t want to be associated with the allegations. But as I have learned more about it all I “get it” a bit more. For me, at the moment, he is telling me it was older teenagers and no illegal sites. Maybe if it was images of actual abuse I would feel different. But I don’t know. I’m starting to think that these men aren’t attracted to children and they wouldn’t do this stuff in real life. I think they go to a very dark place. But I could be wrong.
i think there is redemption for those men who seek help, but I know not everyone feels like this and I get that.
your journey is personal to you - just do you hat is right for you. I respect all the women’s. voices on here, even if they are different from mine x
i don’t think there is a right or wrong answer - it is so individual. I am sticking by my partner but he has yet to be charged and so I am keeping an open mind about things. Early on I wanted to distance myself from him as I didn’t want to be associated with the allegations. But as I have learned more about it all I “get it” a bit more. For me, at the moment, he is telling me it was older teenagers and no illegal sites. Maybe if it was images of actual abuse I would feel different. But I don’t know. I’m starting to think that these men aren’t attracted to children and they wouldn’t do this stuff in real life. I think they go to a very dark place. But I could be wrong.
i think there is redemption for those men who seek help, but I know not everyone feels like this and I get that.
your journey is personal to you - just do you hat is right for you. I respect all the women’s. voices on here, even if they are different from mine x