What next
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Skinty
Posted Tue December 20, 2022 7:11pmReport post
The ex was sentenced 6 months ago for processing indecent imagoes of minors his case took 18 months to get to crown court well my 14 year old son got a text the other day to say he was out..... so much for a 12 month sentence and how he can't wait to see him. When he was arrested SS were involved and after a week basically closed my side of the case I was promised everything and got no help what so ever, my son struggled including self harm along with myself it brought back so many bad memories which I can't even bring myself to talk about as I now know what he made me do wasn't right in a healthy relationship. When he was sentenced I wasn't told I found out in the court listings, the case has never gone to press and now I want to know where me and my son stand as I don't want him going back to how he was the last 6 months he's like a new lad no fighting with me or his friends, his teachers have said he's more focused in everything what he's doing and I'm scared he'll go back to how he was! I've phoned SS who told me to speak to the police who told me to speak to his probation officer who then have told me to speak to social services as we were not the victims!!! I lost my temper with the probation office as it all seems to be so hush hush and being brushed under the carpet. I've phoned SS again as I don't know what contact he's allowed with his dad probation have said he's not high risk!!!!! and will help if they are to have contact, I don't even know what his condition for release are so I can support my son with decisions about seeing his dad because I don't know if he can, I've even had to stop my lad going out with his friends in fear that he will meet up with his dad and I can see his dad doing this! I feel my life was getting back on track but it's falling down again. I don't want to be the bad guy but my lad can't see the harm his dad has done he has told me he's 14 and can have who he wants in his life and at the moment nobody is giving me any answers apart from seek legal advice so would apreaciate if anybody has been in the same situation and what have theve done?
Posted Tue December 20, 2022 7:11pmReport post
The ex was sentenced 6 months ago for processing indecent imagoes of minors his case took 18 months to get to crown court well my 14 year old son got a text the other day to say he was out..... so much for a 12 month sentence and how he can't wait to see him. When he was arrested SS were involved and after a week basically closed my side of the case I was promised everything and got no help what so ever, my son struggled including self harm along with myself it brought back so many bad memories which I can't even bring myself to talk about as I now know what he made me do wasn't right in a healthy relationship. When he was sentenced I wasn't told I found out in the court listings, the case has never gone to press and now I want to know where me and my son stand as I don't want him going back to how he was the last 6 months he's like a new lad no fighting with me or his friends, his teachers have said he's more focused in everything what he's doing and I'm scared he'll go back to how he was! I've phoned SS who told me to speak to the police who told me to speak to his probation officer who then have told me to speak to social services as we were not the victims!!! I lost my temper with the probation office as it all seems to be so hush hush and being brushed under the carpet. I've phoned SS again as I don't know what contact he's allowed with his dad probation have said he's not high risk!!!!! and will help if they are to have contact, I don't even know what his condition for release are so I can support my son with decisions about seeing his dad because I don't know if he can, I've even had to stop my lad going out with his friends in fear that he will meet up with his dad and I can see his dad doing this! I feel my life was getting back on track but it's falling down again. I don't want to be the bad guy but my lad can't see the harm his dad has done he has told me he's 14 and can have who he wants in his life and at the moment nobody is giving me any answers apart from seek legal advice so would apreaciate if anybody has been in the same situation and what have theve done?
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends forum, we understand that it is not easy to post on a forum about these difficult situations. I can see that you have not yet had a reply on your post, hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support.
It is evident that you are finding the current situation hard, with this in mind I suggest that you take some time to look after yourself. This could be simple self-care activities such as going on a walk alone or engaging in a hobby you enjoy. It is important that you take care of yourself at this difficult time. I would also encourage you to contact our Stop it Now! helpline.
The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free, on 0808 1000 900. One of our trained advisors will then be able to explore your situation in detail and provide some support. Our trained advisors deal with similar concerns to yours every day, and will be able to talk these through with you and offer you the best advice we can. I hope this has been helpful.
Take care,
Lucy
It is evident that you are finding the current situation hard, with this in mind I suggest that you take some time to look after yourself. This could be simple self-care activities such as going on a walk alone or engaging in a hobby you enjoy. It is important that you take care of yourself at this difficult time. I would also encourage you to contact our Stop it Now! helpline.
The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free, on 0808 1000 900. One of our trained advisors will then be able to explore your situation in detail and provide some support. Our trained advisors deal with similar concerns to yours every day, and will be able to talk these through with you and offer you the best advice we can. I hope this has been helpful.
Take care,
Lucy