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A drop in the ocean, but a little inspiration/motivation

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InTatters

Member since
June 2022

170 posts

Posted Sat January 7, 2023 9:15amReport post

To all, a mini-recap. I am less than a year into the post-Knock nightmare (person since sentenced to three-year custodial for relatively low number of images and one conversation with another adult (decoy - undercover officer). All on Kik.

A couple of peices of inspiration I've come across recently which have resonated (nothing really 'helps' but these felt meaningful to me):

1) "When the forest is too big, just focus on the trees. Your only job is to get to the next tree. And when you’re there, keep going to the tree after that. That’s how you get through the forest. One tree at a time. Do one thing, then do the next. Sometimes, that means just focusing on the next five minutes. Get through that, and then think about getting through the following five minutes. Move forward one tree at a time."

2) Winston Churchill: “If you're going through hell, keep going.”

Edited Sat January 7, 2023 9:21am

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Sat January 7, 2023 9:40amReport post

Thank you for that post, it's really helped me today have had such a bad few days xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Sat January 7, 2023 10:42amReport post

I like these.

I keep trying to run before I can walk or trying to carry on as normal, revert to how I use to be able to approach life, only then to fall quite dramatically and feel in a worse place than when I started. I'm quite a blue sky thinker but I've really struggled to see light recently.

King85

Member since
December 2022

24 posts

Posted Sat January 7, 2023 10:51amReport post

Thankyou for this.

I'm only 10 days into this nightmare. Yesterday I woke up feeling okay, like I could take this on and come out better after it ends... But this morning Im back to feeling like my world is ending and not knowing what to do, think, say, behave... Just overall lost with this whole situation. I'm the 'fixer' of the family, but this I can't fix.

Xxx

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Sat January 7, 2023 3:56pmReport post

I keep having to remind my husband of this at the moment. He is really struggling as work found out after sentencing and suspended him. I keep telling him it'll be okay. It's a blip. There are employers out there that'll take him on, it's just going to take longer to find something. He was a high earner so losing his job is a big deal for him and he's worried about how he'll afford to live (though he does have some savings so he's not desperate yet).

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Sat January 7, 2023 5:53pmReport post

Thank you for sharing these words today.

I am really struggling at the moment because we have sentencing at the end of the month and I'm unable to stop thinking about the worst outcome despite all the indications being that it will be a suspended sentence.

If it does result in a custodial sentence then I know that I won't survive it or the shame of it being in the media -not being here would be the best option for me.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat January 7, 2023 10:11pmReport post

In Tatters - What an excellent way of putting our journey in perspective.

On the other side, at the beginning I said my son was at the bottom of his ladder of rehabilitation and with each step he'd get there to the top and reach his goal.

I praise him for coping in prison, his achievements in education, getting work, upgraded in his art class, status now enhanced. He's done a dreadful thing but I strongly believe we are all worthy of praise.

Edited Sat January 7, 2023 10:16pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat January 7, 2023 10:19pmReport post

Seaside - you will cope my lovely. I thought I'd never survive each stage but I did (up to press) and so will you.... xxxx hugs sentxx we are here for you ...

Edited Sat January 7, 2023 10:48pm

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Sun January 8, 2023 8:02pmReport post

Seaside you will cope, my lovely. We had sentencing last week. It was suspended which was good news but it's by no means an easy sentence. It was in the media, a very full and detailed account. He has been suspended from his job. Lots of people have seen it in the media. I've only had messages of support. I do find myself trying to minimise to others what he has done as I feel it reflects badly on me but I have some great friends who remind me this is all his doing and I shouldn't feel in anyway ashamed or guilty.

Edited Sun January 8, 2023 8:06pm

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Sun January 8, 2023 8:22pmReport post

Thank you Smile and Loulou for your kind words and support.

Im terrified of it getting into the media because unfortunately I have a very unpleasant family member who has made my life a complete nightmare in the past by spreading false information about me and seeking to destroy my reputation and they will take great pleasure in this.

I have support from 2 very good friends but people will judge me regarding this as I previously had a very high level job in education and was quite well known in my previous career.

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Sun January 8, 2023 9:30pmReport post

Seaside - I know it's easier said than done but hold your head up high and keep going. Stick your middle finger up at them. Crumpling will be what they expect from you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure none of us ever expected our person to commit this type of crime, we can't take any of the responsibility or guilt.