Grandchildren
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Hi Bitterbean
First off it's lovely to have a grandparent wanting to talk or have contact with their grandchildren, my OH mother hasn't ever been in contact with my son even before the knock, totally disowned her son after the knock and said she should have drowned him at birth, can you tell who the toxic parent is? But after the knock has not even bothered to call and ask how my son is doing or offered me or him support in any way.
anyway
I have an Idea for you, set up an email (in their name/names) you can send emails to it, letters/random thoughts/pictures etc. you will still have access to it for the time being so you can delete an email if you think it isn't quite what you wanted to say etc. if the mother still doesn't allow you to have some form of access you at least are able to pass on the information for the email for them to view. Send that information to them when you feel they are old enough to understand where that be 16/18/21 etc. send it in a birthday card. They will then when they access it see how much you loved them and thought of them, even how much you did miss them and wanted to see them. They will feel loved and not abandoned by their grandparents. Of course it will be their choice if they access it so no guarantee they will see it but let's face it we are curious little things and chances are they will eventually.
please don't give up hope x
First off it's lovely to have a grandparent wanting to talk or have contact with their grandchildren, my OH mother hasn't ever been in contact with my son even before the knock, totally disowned her son after the knock and said she should have drowned him at birth, can you tell who the toxic parent is? But after the knock has not even bothered to call and ask how my son is doing or offered me or him support in any way.
anyway
I have an Idea for you, set up an email (in their name/names) you can send emails to it, letters/random thoughts/pictures etc. you will still have access to it for the time being so you can delete an email if you think it isn't quite what you wanted to say etc. if the mother still doesn't allow you to have some form of access you at least are able to pass on the information for the email for them to view. Send that information to them when you feel they are old enough to understand where that be 16/18/21 etc. send it in a birthday card. They will then when they access it see how much you loved them and thought of them, even how much you did miss them and wanted to see them. They will feel loved and not abandoned by their grandparents. Of course it will be their choice if they access it so no guarantee they will see it but let's face it we are curious little things and chances are they will eventually.
please don't give up hope x
Post deleted by user
Bitterbean what a horrible situation. You haven't done anything wrong so it's cruel that you are denied a relationship with your grandchildren. Surely they would allow you to see them in their own home?
Post deleted by user
Although we've made our choice and are totally innocent we are punished by the circumstances. It's as if we aren't trusted - most unfair as I love my grandchildren so much and wouldn't harm a hair on their heads.
Aw bitterbean I'm so sorry.
Could your adult children and partner not come to some agreement where you could visit their house alone once in a while? You haven't done anything wrong it's so unfair. Isn't there some kind of rights for grandparents?
we have similar situation in our family where a parther won't allow us to see the kids, I just wish they would realise that a relationship is about compromise, I do understand the opinions around this crime but people do not understand that the parther hasn't done anything wrong and they've also made no attempt to understand how/why this happened.
love the email idea xx
Could your adult children and partner not come to some agreement where you could visit their house alone once in a while? You haven't done anything wrong it's so unfair. Isn't there some kind of rights for grandparents?
we have similar situation in our family where a parther won't allow us to see the kids, I just wish they would realise that a relationship is about compromise, I do understand the opinions around this crime but people do not understand that the parther hasn't done anything wrong and they've also made no attempt to understand how/why this happened.
love the email idea xx
Post deleted by user
@Bitterbean, I find it quite controlling that the partner of your adult child places such harsh restrictions on you.
You haven't done anything wrong.
Your adult child doesn't seem to stand behind these hard restrictions, so they should come to an agreement where you are allowed to see your grandchild on neutral grounds, being supervised.
Surely there is nothing wrong with that? My heart breaks for you.
You haven't done anything wrong.
Your adult child doesn't seem to stand behind these hard restrictions, so they should come to an agreement where you are allowed to see your grandchild on neutral grounds, being supervised.
Surely there is nothing wrong with that? My heart breaks for you.
Post deleted by user
Post deleted by user
Smile
What is needed is a de escalation of the panic and fear around sex offenders, yes there is a risk, but it is manageable. Ex offenders are not the bogeyman. How this is to be achieved without the media on board, I don't know.
What is needed is a de escalation of the panic and fear around sex offenders, yes there is a risk, but it is manageable. Ex offenders are not the bogeyman. How this is to be achieved without the media on board, I don't know.