Family and Friends Forum

Leesha, just wanted to say how sad I feel for you and your husband after what must have been such a difficult 4 years. It also makes me SO MAD that they can let a family suffer for this long and as you say then hit your OH with a harsh sentence after mending himself. It is so wrong on so many levels.
I just wanted to send you a big hug.
Do you have someone you are confiding in? A family member or a good friend perhaps?
Look after you, and perhaps get off Facebook for a while, nothing you will read on there will help your mental health. If you can, get outside and get some fresh air. I know it's probably the last thing you want to do, but it will do you good. Take care and keep us posted as to how you are getting on Xx

Leesha, coincidentally, I read the article about your partner (my husband is currently being investigated for making/distributing indecent images) and I check regularly to see what sentences other people get.

I am so sorry this happened to you. The judge. should have taken into account what great work you partner did with the Lucy Faithful Foundation and how he reformed himself.

It is an extremely harsh sentence and your partner should appeal against it.

There's a lady on here whose husband had great success with an appeal lately against a similar harsh sentence.

@Christmas Chaos, can you give some advice, please? xx

I'm so sorry to hear this outcome but also the horrifically long time this has gone on for. The sentence does seem quite severe, I know your solicitor says there is no point in appealing, but perhaps it's worth talking to another solicitor for their advise? I believe they should have taken into account the amount of time he's been awaiting sentencing.

I understand your frustration at the reporting. I feel that my partner got a marginally more severe sentence (not enough to challenge it) and the reporting both sensationalised it and made mention of other things in his search and conversation, that whilst unsavoury, were not illegal - I think the judge took these into consideration even though they weren't illegal. I'm so angry they were even allowed to read some of the irrelevant messages in the court and why his legal team didn't intervene.

It sounds like you've been so strong over the last 4 years and supportive and whilst it must be hard, you should hold your head up high and be proud of who you are.

My partner is serving time, if you have any questions about prison and practicalities of that, please ask.

x

Leesha I'm so sorry that you're going through this. 4 years is truly awful to wait and the sentence seems so unfair. Sentencing is so random. My husband was very lucky to get a suspended sentence (his was communication, not images), but he too had the most awful wrote up in the local paper. People are making judgements based on the article, including his boss! You will get through this and I'm so glad you've got supportive families.

I can understand your concerns about appeals, I don't know enough about sentencing for images, my person had a conversation. If you were to appeal it has to be done within 28 days.

Whilst he'll have a lot to adjust to, he will be safe. I don't know if you've heard from him yet, it usually takes a while for telephone numbers to be approved. One of the things I wish I'd known sooner was that we could have a video call a month as well as the visits.

Sorry you're having this experience Leesha and I'm sorry about the media coverage being so detailed.
I feel like so many more cases are getting custodial unexpectedly.
If you're in Scotland, I spoke to a really helpful charity called Families Inside today. It was good to be able to just ask questions and get someone with a sympathetic listening ear.
I've been navigating this since my family member got a custodial on Friday so it's new to me too.
Sending such a lot of strength to you.

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Yes - I've thought that. How come an offender is allowed to be free (with restrictions) for years, yet deemed so dangerous on court day they are locked up! Crazy!

I am so sorry. We are at the beginning of our journey here so i sadly dont have anything to say that could be of some comfort.

I have a law degree, and its made plain from day 1 of studying that Judges sentencing can alter depending on their mood for that day and generally appealing the sentence can take longer than the sentence given. Theres no consistancy and its very unfair.

Im just so sorry, but be kind to yourself. X

The judge certainly didn't like my son on the day!

Afternoon Leesha

I am so sorry to read your post my sons case was almost 2 years under investigation then sentenced, he has a long journey ahead before he is released but 4 years under investigation is just disgusting heartbreaking for you both

I am pleased you have people to support you and hopefully you will be able to get a visit soon set up

OH will be in shock but he will adjust he will be ok as many have said x

I'm sorry the media have had a field day my sons media coverage was so awful it still upsets me how they can get away with twisting the facts

Please look after yourself xx

I'm so sorry, that seems ridiculously harsh, especially with all the positive factors. If I was you, I would push for an appeal. ChristmasChaos got a successful appeal recently so have a look at her posts x

I am so sorry to read this. Whilst my husbands sentence was suspended I absolutely know how you are feeling about the whole thing.
it has taken me a a long time to get over the trauma of the whole trial and sentencing. In fact I am not over it, it's like PTSD, with lots of triggers.

My main advice is cling to those who have been with you on this journey, friends/family.



No one ever gives a toss about those of us caught up in these nightmares. Don't even get me started on the media. We too hit the paper and was shared in a local Facebook group.



Be kind to yourself, you have done nothing wrong. Hold your head up!



Thinking of you xx

So glad your feeling a little more positive Leesha it's a weight off your shoulders when you get that first call from prison.



Once you accept the sentencing you can put all the hearings/law stuff behind you - ride the storm of media attention and things will fall into place and settle down.

My son has been in prison for two years and it's absolutely flown by - even from his part.

keep that strength going Leesha x

Leesha- you are certainly not alone.

sounds bad but we too were relieved our son went to prison, we got space as his crime was within our family it's given us time to pick up the shattered pieces and 'try' to rebuild.

If he hadn't have gone to prison it would have been 100% disastrous for everyone. and I'm convinced worse for him with dire consequences.



im afraid that 'guilt' emotion is never far away...

Leesha I'm sorry I'm only seeing this now. I was asked above about my husbands recent appeal. So he received the maximum sentence for this crime with 6 months taken off for his early guilty plea.

Our stories are very familiar, nothing was taken into account on the day of sentencing. He received a 30 month custodial, serving 15 months in prison and 15 months on licence.

Something you said about being released earlier on good behaviour, we were told by the prison early on that sexual offenders aren't eligible for early release with a tag or without due to being on the sex offenders register and restrictions on licence. Not sure if anyone else has been told this or could shed more light?

Our solicitor couldn't believe the sentence. We were always told to expect a community payback order because it was the first offence and numbers were low and all the work he had done on himself etc. So 30 months was an awful shock. Solicitor said to appeal immediately because he received the maximum sentence so we had nothing to lose. The appeal took about 2 months from the day of sentencing. The judges in the appeal court almost halved my husbands sentence due to the mitigating factors. Xx

My person's lawyer also told him because of his age he'd very likely be released on tag if he was well behaved, we subsequently found this doesn't appear how things work. I sometimes thing they said it to give them an easier life and encourage him to plead guilty.

I'm almost 10 months in, with 10 to go. The first weeks and months are hard, but some how you do settle into a routine and make it work. Try not to put any pressure on yourself in regards to the relationship. For me if helped to look at it that we were friends and I'd support him as best I could, at some point this changed and we are looking at how we can build a future together after he's released. It isn't easy and the road will be bumpy, but it does get easier.

I promise this gets easier. I keep telling myself this is temporary and is one step closer to the end of this nightmare. I still feel its better than waiting in limbo and you've endured years of limbo already so at least things have progressed to the next stage even if that means prison. We are almost 3 months into a custodial with about 6 more to go now after the appeal. What helps me is thinking right that's us with one third done already...then in April/May I'll think ok thats the halfway point etc

What keeps me busy is our baby and we're now looking at degrees for him to start when he's released. We are focusing on employment when he's released because he wants to change his career to open up more options for jobs. I suppose now that sentencing is over and we know what we're looking at we can start to make some future plans, which has to be a positive thing...I would say try to use this time in any way you can. You will see you are much stronger than you think xx