Positive stories
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There use to be a thread on here full of positive stories, unfortunately it has gone-along with many of the contributors, who are missed. I use to read it thinking one day I'll be the other side like them.
well that day is finally here! Wow it has been a tough journey and the hardest battle we have ever had, but we made it.
as a background, my oh was arrested in September 2020, charges December 2021, sentenced March 2022. 3 year community order, internet only restrictions, 5 years SOR/SHPO. Although this side of things seems like a distant memory now, he has a great PO and VISOR who have been so supportive. We wouldn't be here now without them helping us fight.
SS have been a shitty rollercoaster and tried their hardest to separate us all. We were CPP (still are until review) and my oh had to move out, we could only have supervised contact in the community. Then our parents were allowed to supervise contact indoors, we were asking for me to be able to supervise indoors and we had a PPR assessment.
well the outcome of this was shocking, my oh was high risk, never allowed home, could only have contact in the community with 2 adults (I wasn't allowed to supervise anymore). They said I had to leave him and stop all contact.
I disagreed with this, strongly. So did his professionals. We got taken to court proceedings.
but this meant we got an independent risk assessment- which came back better than we could've ever hoped.
yesterday we got removed from proceedings and my oh moved home, supervised for personal cares. Once he has completed his horizon course he can be unsupervised.
this is such a quick summary of what we have been through, both me and my oh have worked SO SO hard to get here. We have both undertaken courses, work and therapy. We are so much stronger because of this.
I have met some of the best people here, when I genuinely thought I couldn't go on, fight anymore, they held me up. Without them I wouldn't have made it, their advice both good and hard to hear has been fantastic. Lee, Lost, daffodil, pregnantandscared. Most of you aren't on here anymore, but always thought of.
This past year has been the hardest of my life, it will affect us for a while yet. But I am stronger, I made it, I stood up to all the bullies that tried to break my family. I showed them that I am protective, can look after my daughter and can have the family and future I want and deserve.
we did it, he's home. Our hearts and home are full.
well that day is finally here! Wow it has been a tough journey and the hardest battle we have ever had, but we made it.
as a background, my oh was arrested in September 2020, charges December 2021, sentenced March 2022. 3 year community order, internet only restrictions, 5 years SOR/SHPO. Although this side of things seems like a distant memory now, he has a great PO and VISOR who have been so supportive. We wouldn't be here now without them helping us fight.
SS have been a shitty rollercoaster and tried their hardest to separate us all. We were CPP (still are until review) and my oh had to move out, we could only have supervised contact in the community. Then our parents were allowed to supervise contact indoors, we were asking for me to be able to supervise indoors and we had a PPR assessment.
well the outcome of this was shocking, my oh was high risk, never allowed home, could only have contact in the community with 2 adults (I wasn't allowed to supervise anymore). They said I had to leave him and stop all contact.
I disagreed with this, strongly. So did his professionals. We got taken to court proceedings.
but this meant we got an independent risk assessment- which came back better than we could've ever hoped.
yesterday we got removed from proceedings and my oh moved home, supervised for personal cares. Once he has completed his horizon course he can be unsupervised.
this is such a quick summary of what we have been through, both me and my oh have worked SO SO hard to get here. We have both undertaken courses, work and therapy. We are so much stronger because of this.
I have met some of the best people here, when I genuinely thought I couldn't go on, fight anymore, they held me up. Without them I wouldn't have made it, their advice both good and hard to hear has been fantastic. Lee, Lost, daffodil, pregnantandscared. Most of you aren't on here anymore, but always thought of.
This past year has been the hardest of my life, it will affect us for a while yet. But I am stronger, I made it, I stood up to all the bullies that tried to break my family. I showed them that I am protective, can look after my daughter and can have the family and future I want and deserve.
we did it, he's home. Our hearts and home are full.
It's so nice to read something positive, I'm so happy for you! Iv had so much anxiety and stress over what will happen to my family. We're still in early stages husband arrested end of July 2022 for iioc using kik sharing and chatting to another adult. Bailed twice and been RUI since end of Oct, still waiting on his phone to be checked.
we had ss come twice and they closed the case, I'm allowed to supervise but they don't want him moving back which I agreed for the moment.
my husband lost his job as he was arrested at work, but has been doing lots of work on himself since his arrest and he is about to start a new job. I'm so anxious about it coming out in the media I can't sleep most nights, I worry he will get custodial sentence and then we will struggle with our mortgage. I can't wait till we're the other side of this all.
we had ss come twice and they closed the case, I'm allowed to supervise but they don't want him moving back which I agreed for the moment.
my husband lost his job as he was arrested at work, but has been doing lots of work on himself since his arrest and he is about to start a new job. I'm so anxious about it coming out in the media I can't sleep most nights, I worry he will get custodial sentence and then we will struggle with our mortgage. I can't wait till we're the other side of this all.
Hi GZ, it's very good to hear a positive outcome, wish we could read more of them, my sons case is currently with cps. My worst fear is the media reporting it. Can't wait to be on the other side of this and hopefully my now 18 year old son can build a life for himself xx
Hi GZ,
Really pleased that you have him home now. You can now start to rebuild your lives as a family unit. It's also really good to hear that visor and probation have supported your fight with ss, I think the professionals in these cases are so often focused on their own personal opinions that they can overlook the families involved xxx
Really pleased that you have him home now. You can now start to rebuild your lives as a family unit. It's also really good to hear that visor and probation have supported your fight with ss, I think the professionals in these cases are so often focused on their own personal opinions that they can overlook the families involved xxx
What a rollercoaster! Was this through the family courts for supervision arrangements? We are nearly three years on from when my partner requested supervised access at a contact centre and we are still not near a conclusion.
Can I ask how the assessment was arranged? My partner will need another one for the courts (first one they threw out because their criteria was too vague)
Can I ask how the assessment was arranged? My partner will need another one for the courts (first one they threw out because their criteria was too vague)
Hello everybody.
So I pop in every now and again to catch.
So O/H had the knock in March/21. Got arrested and then bailed for the month. They then said we will be in touch. December/21 had his second interview and found 48 images across the board. That got reduced to 24 due to them cannot see some images.
Move forward to April/22. Sold his house. Fairly straight forward no issues etc.
May/22 had the magistrates court where he pleaded guilty.
June/22. Crown Court. Got suspended sentence for 18 months. SHPO and SOR for 5 years. 240 hours community service.
He has now completed his community service and just having probation and the visor teams visits etc.
On a plus side we are moving along together and definitely stronger hopefully the future looks brighter.
xx
So I pop in every now and again to catch.
So O/H had the knock in March/21. Got arrested and then bailed for the month. They then said we will be in touch. December/21 had his second interview and found 48 images across the board. That got reduced to 24 due to them cannot see some images.
Move forward to April/22. Sold his house. Fairly straight forward no issues etc.
May/22 had the magistrates court where he pleaded guilty.
June/22. Crown Court. Got suspended sentence for 18 months. SHPO and SOR for 5 years. 240 hours community service.
He has now completed his community service and just having probation and the visor teams visits etc.
On a plus side we are moving along together and definitely stronger hopefully the future looks brighter.
xx
Confusedwife- ours hit the media, my husband lost his job. But we never had any backlash or anything and he got a new job without having to disclose. It was the thing I worried about most pre sentencing, but actually it wasn't as bad as I imagined it and looking back at our journey hasn't really affected us. We've still got our family and friends supporting us.
majestic- it was proceedings before court, so with solicitors but not with a judge. Social care ordered the assessment and we put assessors forward. They picked Professor Craig, he had been recommended to us by safer lives and our therapists.
majestic- it was proceedings before court, so with solicitors but not with a judge. Social care ordered the assessment and we put assessors forward. They picked Professor Craig, he had been recommended to us by safer lives and our therapists.
GZ thank you so much for sharing. We are awaiting sentencing next week. Still subject to a CPP. I have fought SS every step of the way. I have pages of emails of complaints, like you I will go to court if needed.
I am so happy for you and you inspire me to carry on. Thank you x
I am so happy for you and you inspire me to carry on. Thank you x