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Feeling terrified

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Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 8:55pmReport post

So we have sentencing tomorrow and I'm feeling terrified, shaking and can't stop crying.

All the indications are that it will be a community order and this is what the PSR has recommended but it could still go awry.

We had the interview for the PSR on Tuesday but haven't heard that it has been submitted to the judge yet so it could possibly be adjourned if that doesn't happen before tomorrow.

We have travelled back 400 miles from our new location to where we formerly lived so if it does get adjourned then additional stress.

Tonight I will hug my son and stay with him until the morning-he doesn't want me to go to the court with him but it will break my heart saying goodbye to him.

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 9:07pmReport post

Thinking of you Seaside. Love and hugs to you and your son xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 9:11pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat January 28, 2023 5:52am

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 9:11pmReport post

I will be thinking of you tomorrow Seaside. Sending you lots of strength and really really hope it goes well xxx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 9:12pmReport post

Smile I will hug him for your son too xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 9:19pmReport post

Ahh Seaside take a deep breath darling this is something we have no control over

I can totally relate to how you are feeling and it is the worst pain you can imagine as a mum we want to make things ok but this is the one thing we can't and our heart breaks

I feel your pain but the one thing you have to do is hug your son, stay with him tonight if he will let you, tell him it will be ok, what ever the outcome you will be there

The day of the knock my son didn't come home for 13 hours but when we had him home we spent a few hours talking and I stayed with him for the first time in years he cried, he was unsettled, but I was there, I didn't sleep I cried silent tears and my heart broke

But we are both still here and so will you be and your son

Sending strength and hugs xx if you need me I am here xx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 9:31pmReport post

Oh Upset thank you for those words I know you understand how hard this is as a Mum.

I will hug him for you and your son as well no matter what has happened I could never ever abandon him.

I will also do what I used to do when he started school and was anxious which was to draw a little heart on his palm and mine so that we could each touch it and send love to each other when we were apart

Edited Thu January 26, 2023 9:34pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 9:43pmReport post

Seaside

My shoulder is here to rest your head apon

My heart and my strength is by your Side

My heart aches for the pain you are feeling and so does Smile, and so many other mums but we are here every step of the way so no matter the outcome you have got this

I like you wanted to give up but what happens then? Our sons need us, we need them so we have to be stronger than we could ever imagine

But we will and so will you just take a deep breath and breathe, a mothers love is more powerful than we could ever imagine xx

The heart on the palm of your hand will always be there ( if ever you want a tattoo that would be what I would choose)xx

Edited Thu January 26, 2023 9:59pm

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 9:44pmReport post

Seaside, my heart breaks for you as I read this; my son has his first court appearance next week. I hope you're OK and send you every bit of strength xx

RIG22

Member since
September 2022

138 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 10:33pmReport post

Seaside Thinking of you and your son. Pray all will go well for you both. Sending hugs and strength xxx

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Thu January 26, 2023 11:23pmReport post

Hi Seaside,



Thinking of u and ur son tomorrow xx

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

361 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 12:47amReport post

Hi Seaside

Thinking of you and your son and hoping you have a good outcome.

Sending you both lots of strength to get through the day ahead.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 4:21amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri January 27, 2023 4:56pm

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 6:02amReport post

Thinking of you today, Seaside. Hugs and hoping for a positive outcome xx

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 6:08amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 8:17amReport post

Thinking of you today, as a mother of sons I can't imagine the pain all you mums go through, must be unbearable. Hope it all goes ahead for him today and he has the best outcome xc

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 8:22amReport post

Thank you all for your lovely words and support.

Feeling very sick and numb now -praying for a good outcome

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 8:25amReport post

Praying with you Seaside xxx

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

390 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 8:49amReport post

I prayed for you as well, Seaside. All the best for today xx

Inturmoil1974

Member since
November 2022

275 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 9:13amReport post

You will be in my thoughts xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 10:51amReport post

Seaside

In my thoughts xxx

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 12:33pmReport post

Sending you strength today xx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 3:50pmReport post

Positive outcome thankfully.

He has been given a 3 year community order , 5 years on SOR and 5 on SHPO.

The judge took all the work he's done into account and also stated that my character reference played a large part in his decision.

We can now begin to move forward-it won't all be plain sailing but he's coming home.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your support and understanding I really couldn't have got through the past 18 months without you especially Smile and Upset xxxxx

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 4:02pmReport post

Oh Seaside. I have been thinking of you all day. So pleased for you. Xxx

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 4:16pmReport post

Well done on getting through today, and thank you for sharing. Have been thinking of you lots. All the best for what comes next xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 4:45pmReport post

Seaside

Oh I am so pleased for you and your son xx

Please pass on my caring thoughts to your son

What a huge relief for you all

Small steps each day and as you leave this road of darkness behind and head towards a brighter journey together

Your son with you by his side will rebuild and this does not define who he is , sending the biggest hugs to you all xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 4:55pmReport post

Ahhh Seaside, so happy for you. Probably won't all be plain sailing but your off to a positive new start. Brilliant x

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 10:32pmReport post

So pleased your Son received a positive outcome. Onwards and upwards from here x take care x

Another worried mum

Member since
December 2022

129 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 10:52amReport post

Hi Seaside im so please to hear your outcome. I am at the begining of this journey with my son. He is now 19, they have taken his phone/laptop but no interview or anything yet. I havent asked him what he has looked at part of me is really scared to know so ive no idea of what is in store for him. He is at uni at the moment police just told him to carry on as normal until devices are examined. I know he is struggling terribly, any advice you can give I would be grateful to receive. I feel a custodial would destroy him and will do anything to give him the best chance to avoid this.

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 12:28pmReport post

Seaside,

I'm so happy for you and pleased to see the judge was fair and took into account the work, that's fantastic! Onwards and upwards! Xx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 4:11pmReport post

Another worried Mum I know exactly how you must be feeling and my heart goes out to you and your son.

The early days of this horrible journey are terrible and I remember feeling totally lost and alone.

Try to encourage your son to be as open and honest with you as he is able to be-I asked my son to write me a letter which helped .

Phone the helpline for advice for both yourself and your son they really are wonderful and non judgmental .

Above all look after yourself-I didn't do enough of this and am feeling the after effects now.

Be very careful about disclosing to others-I told 3 close friends 2 of whom have been wonderful but one (who has known me and my son for years ) chose to distance herself.

Until you know exactly what charges your son is facing you will be in limbo and be prepared for a long wait without any information from the police.

Above all I would say don't ever trust or believe anything you are told by the police-they are not your friends and will lie to suit their purposes.

Please, please take care of yourself-this forum really is a lifeline and people on here give wonderful advice and support.

Another worried mum

Member since
December 2022

129 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 7:10pmReport post

Thanks for taking time to answer me. I will take on board everything you say, your outcome has given me some hope and reduced my ever present anxiety. I wish you and your son all the best for the future.