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For those who have received full disclosure

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Denzel7

Member since
December 2022

41 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 9:43pmReport post

Hi All,

Sending love to everyone at different stages of this journey.

Just a quick question for those who have received full disclosure from their person's solicitor.

How is the disclosure received? For example, phone call / email / post?

My person is RUI for images.

Do they just tell you what the categories and charges are? Or are you given any more information, such as what the images were, the ages and so forth.

Best wishes

D x

Scared3546

Member since
November 2022

32 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 10:20pmReport post

I don't know if mine was standard (as I initially told solicitor I didn't want to know the full info unless I specifically asked for it...wasn't ready for it at first).



So she sent me information as and when I asked for it, via email as my preference

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 10:25pmReport post

Evening Denzel7

My son gave his permission for me to have a full disclosure, i had a zoom call with his solicitor as she said it would be easier to discuss face to face

On the call she asked how much I wanted to know and even though it was heartbreaking I knew what we were facing and I had all the details before I went to court xx

Loulou22

Member since
October 2022

50 posts

Posted Fri January 27, 2023 11:41pmReport post

Thank you Denzel7 for asking this. I just don't think I can face the actual detail of what my son has viewed. To know generically that he has been viewing anything of this nature is devastating enough. I have confided in a few friends who have suggested it might be better to know, but I'm really not convinced. Xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat January 28, 2023 5:50amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun January 29, 2023 5:50am

Denzel7

Member since
December 2022

41 posts

Posted Sat January 28, 2023 1:21pmReport post

I really appreciate your responses and for sharing your own experiences.

I agree with any ones decision to gain or to not gain disclosure.

Thank you for sharing the idea of a zoom call for full disclosure. I think this is how I would prefer to receive it as well.

For me, it was my partner who offended when I was pregnant. We were due to marry before Christmas. In order for me to move forward and decide how to; I need to know what I am dealing with xx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Sat January 28, 2023 1:36pmReport post

Mine was via email as it was a chat log. I'm telling you it was horrendous reading it I was actually sick. It didn't sound at all like him. But I'm glad I did it, I needed to know and I nearly think about it any more. X

Denzel7

Member since
December 2022

41 posts

Posted Sat January 28, 2023 2:40pmReport post

New lady - I can only imagine and will be able to emphasise as it will be my next stage in this nightmare. I'm just over 9 months past the knock so could be soon or could be a few years away yet. Who knows.

I feel like I need to know because I have children with him. He's undergoing rehabilitation off his own back, in contact with a few groups, completing modules and reading. I want to know what exactly this imposter posed as my loving, caring, gentle, nice natured fiancé has been doing. It's all so difficult isn't it. I just want my eyes wide open in order to make an informed decision. And a decision which best serves the children and I.

I look on this forum a lot. Every day. Taking away lots of different bits and peices from others. It doesn't make me feel like an alien being on here. I've completely ostrichised myself from people. I feel jealous of people with normal everyday problems. It's all such a mess. Is there any closure in any of this? I just want all the facts in front of me. What he's done in terms of offending and what he's done to rehabilitate himself. Ultimately, I just want closure. I want to feel normal. I want some quality of life back. Like we all do. All of this came completely out of the blue for me, like everyone here and has completely knocked me sideways. Again, like everyone here. I saw no warning signs. None whatsoever. With it being a partner and not my child amd all emotions aside, I do feel like our lives as in mine and the kids will be easier and better without him. I just want to feel like I can breathe again xx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Sat January 28, 2023 6:11pmReport post

I totally get it, I'm. Almost two years in and he didn't get evidence until Nov I just pat think. The feeling jealous of 'normal' families is something I felt for a long time but I git over it and I'm so used to being on my own at home now I don't think I'll ever live with anyone again. Hell have to have his own place. I really value my alone time now which is strange because I hated it at the start. It was like he died. All these feelings you have are completely normal. Have you rang the helpline? I isolated myself too from everyone just starting to see friends ect again recently and no one still k ows about all this so the form and a lovely lady I text who's from here is all I have. It's totally your decision what you do about your person. You've got to do what's right for you, whatever that is. Maybe have some space from. Him, don't text etc for a few days and have a good think. You're not alone, we are here for you x

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Sun January 29, 2023 2:17pmReport post

At court for the plea hearing, my OH was given a copy of all of the evidence that the solicitors had. He has given it to me to read. I don't feel.ready yet, the fact that he has freely given it to me makes me feel like there will not be anything unexpected in it.