Losing my grandchildren
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Can someone help me please. I can't stop crying. Since the knock 18 months ago my son was allowed supervised access to his 4 children, with myself and 2 other family members supervising, so I have had them 3 days a week since then. Today my daughter in law has said she can't cope with this anymore and no longer wants any of our family to contact them anymore, she just wants to move on with her life. I,m beyond heartbroken and my son is distraught. Can she really just ban us all from their lives. They are only 5,6,8 and we have such a lovely bond. SS closed the case down months ago as we had such a good routine going with no concerns. I don't know what to do
Hi Mandymoo
No she cannot ban you. Grandparents have rights by law and you can take her to court if you have to.
I can understand she is angry and wants to break free from the situation. I guess we all would too if we had the chance. But no she can't stop you having a relationship with your grandchildren.
Sending love and hugs.
X
No she cannot ban you. Grandparents have rights by law and you can take her to court if you have to.
I can understand she is angry and wants to break free from the situation. I guess we all would too if we had the chance. But no she can't stop you having a relationship with your grandchildren.
Sending love and hugs.
X
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Mandymoo
I dont have any grandchildren so I cannot offer any advise but just wanted to send you hugs in this horrible situation you have been thrown into xx
Would your daughter in law be willing to sit down and discuss how this is causing you such upset? xx
I dont have any grandchildren so I cannot offer any advise but just wanted to send you hugs in this horrible situation you have been thrown into xx
Would your daughter in law be willing to sit down and discuss how this is causing you such upset? xx
Smile through tears - thank you for your reply. You have given me a bit of hope. Because so closed the case down do you know what I have to do now.
my daughter in law won't speak to us at all and we are having to speak to a third party if we want to know anything. I'm so worried the kids will think that all this side of the family have abandoned them and don't love them anymore and that is so not the case.
are there any families on here that have still been allowed access to their kids once they have been sentenced and I worry about my sons mental health if he never sees his children again. We'd agree to supervised access for the rest off their life's if we had to just to have regular access.
sorry for my ramblings my head is all over the place x
my daughter in law won't speak to us at all and we are having to speak to a third party if we want to know anything. I'm so worried the kids will think that all this side of the family have abandoned them and don't love them anymore and that is so not the case.
are there any families on here that have still been allowed access to their kids once they have been sentenced and I worry about my sons mental health if he never sees his children again. We'd agree to supervised access for the rest off their life's if we had to just to have regular access.
sorry for my ramblings my head is all over the place x
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Hi Mandymoo
I just want to give the perspective of your daughter in law. Firstly to be clear, I have stood by my OH, although he is not allowed home and can only have contact in the community, we hope to be a family again soon.
My in laws have seen my children since the knock, but not as often as they would usually. My trust of people has been destroyed and I will only let my parents and sister unsupervised contact with me kids now.
I personally have found it very difficult to communicate with my inlaws, my father inlaw doesn't know what to say to me so just doesn't say anything and my mother inlaw prioritises her son over me and the kids, as I probably would if I were in her place. I do ignore phone calls from them and don't always reply to text messages.
This is easily the worst 7 months of my life, I have to do what I feel is right for me to remain strong so that I can be the mother that my children need. I know that the way I am is not fair on others sometimes, but I have a limited amount of myself to give so have to give it to those who need it most.
I hope this gets resolved soon, I'm sure your grandchildren love you very much, you may just need to give it time.
X
I just want to give the perspective of your daughter in law. Firstly to be clear, I have stood by my OH, although he is not allowed home and can only have contact in the community, we hope to be a family again soon.
My in laws have seen my children since the knock, but not as often as they would usually. My trust of people has been destroyed and I will only let my parents and sister unsupervised contact with me kids now.
I personally have found it very difficult to communicate with my inlaws, my father inlaw doesn't know what to say to me so just doesn't say anything and my mother inlaw prioritises her son over me and the kids, as I probably would if I were in her place. I do ignore phone calls from them and don't always reply to text messages.
This is easily the worst 7 months of my life, I have to do what I feel is right for me to remain strong so that I can be the mother that my children need. I know that the way I am is not fair on others sometimes, but I have a limited amount of myself to give so have to give it to those who need it most.
I hope this gets resolved soon, I'm sure your grandchildren love you very much, you may just need to give it time.
X
Help me - no there was no overnight stays as she didn't want this and so I respected her decision
I totally understand my DIL feelings and much as I love my son I would never do anything to jeopardise my grandchildren. She has agreed to this contact for 18 months and absolutely nothing has changed to make her just cancel us all out with no warning. It's just so cruel
I totally understand my DIL feelings and much as I love my son I would never do anything to jeopardise my grandchildren. She has agreed to this contact for 18 months and absolutely nothing has changed to make her just cancel us all out with no warning. It's just so cruel
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She has made it quite clear that she wants to forget My son exists, so that means all of our family out of her life. We don't even know what excuse she is going to give the kids for not seeing daddy and grandma again. She just doesn't seem to have thought it through. Just find it so hard to believe she can do that
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I'm so so sorry this has happened to you, have you thought maybe she's met someone else and doesn't want to tell. Him what's happened, or has and he's advised her to cut ties and move on?
Smile through tears - I don't know your situation but I wouldn't wish this feeling of helplessness on anyone. I just want to feel happy again.
I don't think she is seeing anyone as she has been so traumatised by all this I think it'll be a long time till she trusts anyone again. I believe her family are behind it as all along they were not happy she allowed my son supervised access x
I don't think she is seeing anyone as she has been so traumatised by all this I think it'll be a long time till she trusts anyone again. I believe her family are behind it as all along they were not happy she allowed my son supervised access x
I just feel me living with a threatened ultimation and in your case suddenly not allowed to see your grandchildren is very cruel..... although I totally understand their caution.
Our relationship with the children have subtly changed ie. I've noticed parents are always there, we don't babysit etc anymore, seeing them less. Never ever do I dare get my phone out to take a random photo. Time together can be a bit stilted and awkward.
But if all these changes mean I can keep a relationship with my son - I can live with that.... I can accept that and the fact they don't want my son in their life again.
im sure we both pray Mandymoo that time will heal and more understanding will creep in. I do think sending a letter to your daughter-in-law - explaining how you feel is a good idea.
Our relationship with the children have subtly changed ie. I've noticed parents are always there, we don't babysit etc anymore, seeing them less. Never ever do I dare get my phone out to take a random photo. Time together can be a bit stilted and awkward.
But if all these changes mean I can keep a relationship with my son - I can live with that.... I can accept that and the fact they don't want my son in their life again.
im sure we both pray Mandymoo that time will heal and more understanding will creep in. I do think sending a letter to your daughter-in-law - explaining how you feel is a good idea.