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It's all over. Everything.

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Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 11:11amReport post

Background :arrested match 2021. Nov 2021 3 charges of sexual communication with a child. Limbo land 2 suicide attempts (him not me). Nov 2022 evidence fiannly arrives with a fight. 2 court dates 3rd one today. Couldn't have asked for a better outcome. 3 years probation. 1 year for every charge. Not even sure about soph or sor yet, but will find out later. We'll over the weekend we decided to go our separate ways regardless of outcome. I need him to fight for me and to get the trust back and he doesn't have any fight left in him. My heart is broken into a million pieces but it's the right thing to do. We are severing communicon for a while whist we both heal. I miss him so much it physically hurts but now the court bit is over I've the heart break to get over. I'll still be on the forum to hopefully help. Others. Thank you to every single one of you. I couldn't have gotten through the last 2 years without you. Thank god I googled for help. I'm in Northern Ireland and no one even knows about lff. Or this form so I'm. Gonna make sure it's put out there. Keep fighting beautiful tribe.

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 11:15amReport post

Oh forgot to add, I made a mums net so I can pm. People and it was a liver saver. My user name is SIns75 if anyone wants to add me for a chat or advice.

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 11:35amReport post

Good luck with the future.

You are such a brave lady to do what you know is right even though it hurts. X

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 11:43amReport post

Morning Newlady x

I am pleased the judge was fair and a better outcome for your OH x

I am so sorry to read the news that you are going to separate, no matter how painful this will be you have been a tower of strength to him

Only you can know what is the right thing to do no matter how hard the decision is you now have to focus on you , this journey is horrendous but we are all survivors

In time the pain will ease and the sun will appear again in your life

Sending strength and hugs to you xx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 11:52amReport post

Thank you girls, you've been my pillar of strength. It's all very surreal and if I'm honest, I'm hoping he will ring and say 'he'll yeah I'll fight for you' but it's it gonna ha. I chose to help him go through this journey and I don't regret it because I don't think he would have survived it without me. We both need to straighten our heads out and start a new normal seperatley. We can't say we never trued because we have it our all, had 5 wonderful happy years b4 this and some good times in between this journey I'll never forgot. Onwards and upwards. Sorry for going on I'll. Probably be ranting on this all day lol

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 12:10pmReport post

Newlady I am so pleased about your outcome I have been thinking of you so much today.

You have been so brave and supportive of your other half and, although it will be very painful, you must do what is best for you now.

Please take care of yourself and allow yourself time to heal .

Sending so much love and huge virtual hugs xxx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 12:15pmReport post

Thank you seaside for all your support the last few weeks. We both did it! We got past the last stage and hope you and your son all the best for the future

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 12:26pmReport post

Newlady,

I'm glad it's over and you can start focussing on yourself and rebuilding. You've done amazing and should be so proud of yourself.

Big hugs xx

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 12:38pmReport post

Hi Newlady,

What a rollercoaster of a day emotionally. I wish you every success and happiness wherever life takes you now. Please continue to use the forum if you need it. Whatever your relationship status we're all here for you when you need us. All the best xxx

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 1:09pmReport post

Oh NewLady! Wow. Such a mixed bag of news. I hope things settle for you soon.



how did the whole name change/media stuff go?



thank you for sharing your outcome and all your thoughts. You have been a great help to me these last few months



x

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 1:59pmReport post

I will continue to use form and hopefully help others in this mess. Yes name was changed, no media as to protect me and the kids. Barrister asked judge she agreed. She was fair. We were lucky.

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 2:01pmReport post

Thank you for responding. Hope you've got some support for tonight xx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 4:01pmReport post

No just me by myself, but if I'm. Honest it's better that way, oh and you guys x

RIG22

Member since
September 2022

138 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 4:11pmReport post

So pleased for you. It's a tough choice but you've been through the worst now and have come out stronger. Wish you all the best. X

Denzel7

Member since
December 2022

41 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 4:12pmReport post

Hi Newlady,

Sending love.

I know this is a lone journey in terms of, we are all in the same storm but in a different boat...

But, do you feel like you have closure now? Obviously it will all stay with you as this is so big but I guess my question is, do you feel like you can move forward now and get on with your life?

I'm hoping when or if it reaches post court... I can continue with my life. I do things daily but it's constantly there in my head. I'm kind of hoping to get closure after sentencing. If that makes sense? I'm hoping it works that way and I won't feel like this forever. As I've said, it's 9 months past the knock for me. I'm receiving therapy which is helping but I don't feel like I can sepeste myself from this if that makes sense at this stage? Sorry to bombard your post xx

Polish bird

Member since
December 2021

44 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 5:45pmReport post

Wish you all the best and thank you very much for all your help xxx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 6:39pmReport post

Denzel it's all a bit surreal right now but I do feel like a huge weight is off. Its been a long 2 years, I'll post in a few days and let you know how I'm getting on, I'm just so heartbroken we aren't together anymore, he's been such a huge part of my life for so long so that's kinda taking over my brain if that makes sense. And polish bird no need to thank you, we are all here to support each otherx

Denzel7

Member since
December 2022

41 posts

Posted Mon January 30, 2023 7:55pmReport post

Be kind and take good care of yourself Newlady xx

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Tue January 31, 2023 7:05amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Tue January 31, 2023 7:13amReport post

Thank you so so much xx

Totally Lost

Member since
August 2022

7 posts

Posted Mon February 6, 2023 7:47pmReport post

Hi NewLady,

I too am in Northern Ireland and my situation is very similar to yours. I too decided to leave my partner. The knock was over 3 years ago and I am slowly rebuilding my life.

Wishing you great strength to move on. If you ever want to chat for support, please get in touch X

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Tue February 7, 2023 12:52pmReport post

Thank you so much you can add me on mum's net my user name is Sins75. Would be lovely to have a chat. Yeah I thu k I'm through the worse of the heart break I'm starting to move on. Xx