I can't take much more
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I feel so alone as I am alone in my circumstances. I am not a wife/partner to my person nor am I a Mother. I don't feel safe anywhere to post much detail but I don't share the same circumstances as all you ladies, I kinda wish I did as maybe this hell I am currently in would be a little more manageable as I'd have people to talk to.
My person is my closest family member whom I would die for, I feel let down by the solicitors, the courts and now it is national paper online so far! They have said so many lies and we haven't even had sentencing yet. Solicitor thought it so small it wouldn't make papers, did not even think my person would be charged. My person has borderline personality disorder along with other mental health disorders, plead guilty the Solicitor advised as my person would not mentally withstand a trial and now our world has fell apart.
I'm sorry for being so vague, I am at the point where I really don't trust anyone anymore, even on a safe forum like this. I'm normally a fighter but I have lost my fight, I feel like a silent victim now too who has noone to talk to. I just needed share a little to get me through the night, the way you all support each other is amazing and it has took a lot for me to post here. Thank you for reading, I really do appreciate it.
My person is my closest family member whom I would die for, I feel let down by the solicitors, the courts and now it is national paper online so far! They have said so many lies and we haven't even had sentencing yet. Solicitor thought it so small it wouldn't make papers, did not even think my person would be charged. My person has borderline personality disorder along with other mental health disorders, plead guilty the Solicitor advised as my person would not mentally withstand a trial and now our world has fell apart.
I'm sorry for being so vague, I am at the point where I really don't trust anyone anymore, even on a safe forum like this. I'm normally a fighter but I have lost my fight, I feel like a silent victim now too who has noone to talk to. I just needed share a little to get me through the night, the way you all support each other is amazing and it has took a lot for me to post here. Thank you for reading, I really do appreciate it.
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Oh gosh, this is such a painful position to be in. You have just as much right to be distraught as any of the partners/parents on here. Please look into the Lucy Faithfull course as this is for EVERYONE impacted, not just partners & parents.
My person is my husband but I could imagine if it were a family member it would be worse because at least I can talk to them about sex and stuff without it being too uncomfortable.
As everyone says, this is a shitty club that no one wants to join but we are here for each other.
xx
My person is my husband but I could imagine if it were a family member it would be worse because at least I can talk to them about sex and stuff without it being too uncomfortable.
As everyone says, this is a shitty club that no one wants to join but we are here for each other.
xx
Ahh bless you Brokensoul
It does not matter who the person is that has offended we are all here for support and understanding
No one can prepare you for this journey and your feelings are normal
You do not have to go in to detail so dont feel you have to
I would recommend you reach out to the LFF or your GP
It's a long journey ahead and full of uncertainty and mixed emotions
But you are not alone, we are here for you xxx
It does not matter who the person is that has offended we are all here for support and understanding
No one can prepare you for this journey and your feelings are normal
You do not have to go in to detail so dont feel you have to
I would recommend you reach out to the LFF or your GP
It's a long journey ahead and full of uncertainty and mixed emotions
But you are not alone, we are here for you xxx
Thank you so much for the lovely comments, it is so nice to feel included somewhere as I literally feel so isolated and that noone can understand the impact this has on the family. I couldn't sleep last night (not unusual as my brain won't switch off) so sent email to doctors asking for sleeping tablets.
Due to my persons lifetime of mental health problems I have a contact number for help with regards to their mental state and mine as their carer, I am considering ringing this today. My experience of counselling in the past has not been good so I have been hesitant to take this step however I'm not sure if I can take much more.
My person is suicidal again and to be honest my mental state is fragile and on the edge. If they want to dramatise and fabricate the truth any further in the paper I think my person, in reality, is receiving the death penalty.
What happens at sentencing is it going to get worse? Solicitor has advised they will not go to jail, probation have recommended community service yet at magistrates court they chickened out and sent it to crown court. Why waste time, if they didn't want it in magistrates they should of said back in December when plea was heard, honestly nobody cares apart from you beautiful ladies and the kind unbiased support you give to all.
Due to my persons lifetime of mental health problems I have a contact number for help with regards to their mental state and mine as their carer, I am considering ringing this today. My experience of counselling in the past has not been good so I have been hesitant to take this step however I'm not sure if I can take much more.
My person is suicidal again and to be honest my mental state is fragile and on the edge. If they want to dramatise and fabricate the truth any further in the paper I think my person, in reality, is receiving the death penalty.
What happens at sentencing is it going to get worse? Solicitor has advised they will not go to jail, probation have recommended community service yet at magistrates court they chickened out and sent it to crown court. Why waste time, if they didn't want it in magistrates they should of said back in December when plea was heard, honestly nobody cares apart from you beautiful ladies and the kind unbiased support you give to all.
Hello Brokensoul
I am so sorry that you find yourself in this position but you have come to the right place for support from members of this forum, even though you may feel alone, we are all here for you and each other.
When you feel able to, it would be good for you to speak to the helpline. If you can not ring them you can email them instead.
You say your family member has borderline personality disorder and other mental health issues. It maybe that charities like Rethink, Mind, Borderline Support UK could offer help/support to you and your family member as well.
I really hope the solicitor has documentation confirming all the medical conditions your family member has and how that affects him? All this would need to be put forward for when sentencing happens, so that it can be taken into account as possible mitigating factors.
I am thinking of you and your family member and sending you both strength x
I am so sorry that you find yourself in this position but you have come to the right place for support from members of this forum, even though you may feel alone, we are all here for you and each other.
When you feel able to, it would be good for you to speak to the helpline. If you can not ring them you can email them instead.
You say your family member has borderline personality disorder and other mental health issues. It maybe that charities like Rethink, Mind, Borderline Support UK could offer help/support to you and your family member as well.
I really hope the solicitor has documentation confirming all the medical conditions your family member has and how that affects him? All this would need to be put forward for when sentencing happens, so that it can be taken into account as possible mitigating factors.
I am thinking of you and your family member and sending you both strength x
Hi Brokensoul
I have only just seen your second post (as it takes a while for new posts to come up on system) and just wanted to add....
Please look after yourself the best you can at this moment in time. The contact you have for you (as a carer) and your family member may be a good starting point for reaching out for support.
Many of us on here have contacted Samaritans on here at some stage during this journey. You can contact them at anytime if you need to talk to someone and feel unable to talk to anyone else.
Take care and be kind to yourself x
I have only just seen your second post (as it takes a while for new posts to come up on system) and just wanted to add....
Please look after yourself the best you can at this moment in time. The contact you have for you (as a carer) and your family member may be a good starting point for reaching out for support.
Many of us on here have contacted Samaritans on here at some stage during this journey. You can contact them at anytime if you need to talk to someone and feel unable to talk to anyone else.
Take care and be kind to yourself x
Hi,
I'd like to echo what has already been said by others, it doesn't matter what your relationship is to the person who has offended. This crime impacts families and friends in a very unique way. You will always be welcome to vent in this space. If you've had a previous bad experience with counselling then perhaps looking into counselling through one of the charities who work in this field may be something to explore. The LFF helpline would be a starting point, possibly stopso aswell. Sending love xxx
I'd like to echo what has already been said by others, it doesn't matter what your relationship is to the person who has offended. This crime impacts families and friends in a very unique way. You will always be welcome to vent in this space. If you've had a previous bad experience with counselling then perhaps looking into counselling through one of the charities who work in this field may be something to explore. The LFF helpline would be a starting point, possibly stopso aswell. Sending love xxx
Hi Broken.
I read links on this forum and I feel not many correspond with my situation. But my friends here are my saviour and keep me on track.
No one on this (our) forum make judgement, not sure who said it, but we are all in the same ocean but on different boats..... how true is that.
We are on here to help each other, hopefully to help you too xxxx
I read links on this forum and I feel not many correspond with my situation. But my friends here are my saviour and keep me on track.
No one on this (our) forum make judgement, not sure who said it, but we are all in the same ocean but on different boats..... how true is that.
We are on here to help each other, hopefully to help you too xxxx
Hi Broken
i can really understand your worries and concerns. I don't know if it is helpful as everyone is different, but my person has BPD and pleaded guilty.
he has now been sentenced and received a suspended sentence. I was so scared as he was suicidal, and I have felt responsible for him for so long.
However this seems to have finally made him see how he is more than the illness and how he had let himself fall into extremely maladaptive coping mechanisms (the judges words) and although he is devastated by his actions, he is determined to fully address his illness and fully learn to manage it as well as make amends in whatever way he can
it has ended our family life as it was but I think it will be a turning point in his life.
I found the stop it helpline very useful and also have started counselling which has helped me with the conflicted feelings.
I hope this reassured you that although we are also still early days, things may not be as hopeless as you think xx
i can really understand your worries and concerns. I don't know if it is helpful as everyone is different, but my person has BPD and pleaded guilty.
he has now been sentenced and received a suspended sentence. I was so scared as he was suicidal, and I have felt responsible for him for so long.
However this seems to have finally made him see how he is more than the illness and how he had let himself fall into extremely maladaptive coping mechanisms (the judges words) and although he is devastated by his actions, he is determined to fully address his illness and fully learn to manage it as well as make amends in whatever way he can
it has ended our family life as it was but I think it will be a turning point in his life.
I found the stop it helpline very useful and also have started counselling which has helped me with the conflicted feelings.
I hope this reassured you that although we are also still early days, things may not be as hopeless as you think xx
Thank you so much again. I feel responsible for their actions and blame myself, I know this feeling will dissipate with time but it so hard. I contacted mental health today and hope there will be help and support available for us, it isn't instant though, I think I will ring the helpline tomorrow.
The cruel keyboard warriors are having a ball, even saying the family must be 'scum' too and just as bad as my person, so they are including a disabled young adult in this comment who lives within this household who is scraping through day by day and just keeps asking is it over yet, we have told him yes to protect him now, he never fully understood what was happening just seen us crying all the time. This whole process has been one of the absolute lowest points in my life and despite everything we have been through to this point it is the media and cruel response on social media that has sunk me to the lowest of depths. I am genuinely concerned for my families welfare and feel I will have to go to the police, will they care though??
I will seek counselling and hope it will be of some benefit in my coping mechanism this time.
Full medical records detailing all mental health disabilities along with physical disabilities have been issed to the court. The doctor surgery have also said what a huge mental strain this will put on my person but it seems fall on deaf ears.
I have to somehow keep believing that it will get better. I have never experienced such tremendous support from a group before, you give me hope xx
The cruel keyboard warriors are having a ball, even saying the family must be 'scum' too and just as bad as my person, so they are including a disabled young adult in this comment who lives within this household who is scraping through day by day and just keeps asking is it over yet, we have told him yes to protect him now, he never fully understood what was happening just seen us crying all the time. This whole process has been one of the absolute lowest points in my life and despite everything we have been through to this point it is the media and cruel response on social media that has sunk me to the lowest of depths. I am genuinely concerned for my families welfare and feel I will have to go to the police, will they care though??
I will seek counselling and hope it will be of some benefit in my coping mechanism this time.
Full medical records detailing all mental health disabilities along with physical disabilities have been issed to the court. The doctor surgery have also said what a huge mental strain this will put on my person but it seems fall on deaf ears.
I have to somehow keep believing that it will get better. I have never experienced such tremendous support from a group before, you give me hope xx
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Daffodil, you're bloody amazing!
x
x
Genuinely touched by the love and support on here, biggest thank you. I am going to act on all the advice given and work towards getting my fighting spirit back. I hope I can help someone on here one day like you have all helped me with your invaluable advice xx