Family and Friends Forum

Hi Gz,

I haven't been on here for a few weeks, I've noticed there's no posts off xxx, Im assuming they were she in court for the breaches, hope she's ok x

I've been thinking of her lots too. Loads of love Xxx

Hi everyone so kind of you to message honestly thank you .

I find I can't keep up with anyone else stories becaus emy heads such a mess and I felt abit rude only talking about my self and not being able to support other but hopefully I will soon .

I'm back to stage one really . Crown court next week for breach of probation (recording the meeting) .

On a child protection plan . Which at the moment I don't see as a good thing . I havnt had my say my thoughts and feelings don't count and having all these calls and a social worker to visit me every 10 days and then visiting my daughter in school is just added pressure at the moment . I feel I'm in a worse limbo than before . Now back at court media ect all over again and then waiting for the devise to be checked for the other breach . I just have no hope and there's not going to be 3 get out of jail free cards . (Were as before there was hope of no media or hope of not a long shpo order ect but ino the press will be hot on the case )

The new social worker visited this week to see me and the girls she wasn't here long was nice ect but somthing just happens to my body after for days I feel sick worried like my legs don't work . Even though nothing else has been said I think it's just the reaislation that this is now my life .

I feel so sorry for my person . But that's another long story . I have booked a mini break for me and the girls for a weekend away so there looking forward to that .

I'm just trying to hold myself together go to work sort the kids out and go to bed . I wouldn't say I'm living just surviving. From being a control freak and a worrier I'm slowly getting used to things are out of my hands I have to just plod on . Like everyone else I think my mind just races and the decisions or thoughts of what to do and say for the best .

Thank you for messaging I hope your all okay ? Xxxx

Evening Xxx

So glad to have an update from you x

Sorry to hear you are struggling but you are so strong believe in yourself x

Glad you have something to look forward to in having a break with your children x

How are they? Xx

Thank you bless you . How are you ?

Yea there really good . One of the conditions on the child protection plan was for my daughter to go on some kind of course type thing within the school for children suffering ect . The head master put up his hand on the call and said my daughter has had no change in behaviour she's coming along brilliant and he didn't agree to anything like that to single her out of class and make things different for her when she's okay . He of course said they are monitoring and there for support but he didn't agree into more intervention when she's perfectly fine .

If there's one positive from this journey it is I cherish every single day with my girls . And I feel I'm so much more focused as a mother . I just hope I can be strong enough for them xxx

Xxx

So glad you're girls are flourishing under the circumstances

You are an amazing mum that is clear in how well your girls are doing xx

This journey is horrendous but look at how far you have come and that is down to how you are as a person and as a mum xx

Lovely to hear that you and your girls are coping. You are stronger than you think xx

Thank you both , with this horrible feeling will one day end . Hope your both okay xxx

Hi Xxx

good to hear from you. Even from your post you sound so much better!
excellent that school is on board and the girls are doing well, they are a credit to you.
keep doing what you're doing and stay strong, you've got this xx

Good and bad news . He was at crown court . Judge was mad he was back but gave his more community service and a fine . (Was in the media in 3 hours) the judge said it's final chance and if he's there again he's in jail . The only problem being he will be there again :( because he has a pending breach . They both happened at the same time but they put this trough and still waiting on his phone coming back for the other . So were doomed just waiting for his next court date to be jail and defo in the media for the 3rd time . I feel so awfull for him I don't eveen know what to do . He said he needs us to live our lives and move on it's not fair on us and he's distancing himself so we move on and stop hurting.

It's so hard he will have no job nowere to live when he's out and I just can't even bare to think about he has nothing .

No family can barley see his children he will be homeless when he's out everyone will know how can he walk to streets . It never ends . Hi last cha ce has been used up with the judge over a silly recording :(

Something I have taken from this event is that I try far too hard to ensure everyone else is ok whilst neglecting myself. I remember the day of the knock and subsequent conversations following thinking that I must have done something wrong; that it was my fault. What I've learned is that none of this is my fault. My husbands actions were his doing, the fact that he's now in prison is his doing. I still feel that his sentence was incredibly harsh but that's by the by. My husband is not my responsibility nor are his actions. I love, adore & support him. He made a bad choice but he is not a bad man but ultimately the consequences of his actions are his. You are not responsible for your partners breaches. He is. Until he takes responsibility and acts to stop repeating the same behaviour he runs the risk of losing everything you mentioned. But that is 'his' responsibility not yours.

Your journey has been tough and you've done an incredible job.

Sending you love & strength xx

Hi Xxx

hope you're as ok as can be.
how long was his sentence suspended for?

try to take each day at a time and don't plan too far ahead. Try to not worry about what he'll do when he gets out. Lots can change and I'm sure probation would find him somewhere to live etc.

Keep looking after yourself and those girls my lovely

x

Hi life feels over sorry to hear about your partner . Yes I understand I feel the same I look out for everyone else but unfortunately I can't change my mind won't stop and I will only ever rest if I know he's okay . The first court appearance after arrest I though he'll get what he gets this is his fault and punishment ect . Now I just feel there being unfair . Solicitor ect said they can't belive it's gone this far . The other breach is more a miscommunication . They have been hard work and misleading from the get go . With all these things and social .it's just no life for him . There not much more he can take . He's leaving us and if he gets prison he wants to cut all contact and me and the children to move on he doesn't want them being surrounded by this mess ect . It's the second time it's been in the media and there will soon to be a third. It's hard to describe of here but there are just being horrible he may have not understood or something but they make out he's a monster to get out of it this far to them all be over again . I just want to run away and I can't eveen do that . If he ment to breach or did somthing on purpose or was up to the same old I would have stopped contact it's just not all as it seems. It will never end .

Xxx