Family and Friends Forum

Hi, I know how you feel.

I went to court for plea and sentencing but did not go in the court room at all, I wanted to support my oh but I knew I just couldn't go in the room as that memory would stay with me forever and I don't think I could ever get over that.

I think sometimes we need to do what we know is right for us and our mental health.

Big hugs to you x

My sons court attendances were on video link (Covid days). As other family members were there I couldn't bare it to turn into a witch hunt, so remained shattered and feeling terrified at home.

I spoke to my son the night before, that was a call to remember - one I wish I could forget! I knew then I'd made the right decision not to attend court.

All I can say is it really is your decision Mandymoo and don't feel guilty - your Son should respect that, mine did. I don't carry any guilt now for not attending and was just so relieved it was over and take a big breath / move on.

Love sent as you face this horrible time.

Morning,

I didn't attend court as was in labour. My persons dad did but wasn't allowed in the court room. I think there was a mistake at the court with that but my person didn't feel any less supported. It's a very personal decision and I suppose one you will never know if you made the right one. I'm sure your son knows that you support him whatever you decide to do. For some things on this journey I remain grateful that it was taken out of my hands. I wish you and your family all the best for sentencing xxx

I didn't go to my son's plea hearing - I had a very important meeting booked, which sounds awful because what is more important than my son! But my husband went with him; he's much calmer than me and I didn't think that I would bring much to the party. My husband is very laid back and stoic but he looked shattered when we met up later, I think he found it really hard. Sentencing is at the end of this month and he has suggested that I don't go in, although I will travel there with them and wait outside.

I don't think you should feel guilty about not going in; in this awful situation that we find ourselves it's more than OK to take care of your own emotions. We're already dealing with the impact of someone else's actions and you need to do what is right for you xx

I didn't go to court, I think he found it easier to concerntrate on what was going on rather than worrying about my reaction to what was heard. Maybe that was selfish on his part?

But I had to concerntrate on the kids taking my leave to cover childcare not taking days off attending and it not going ahead.

Whatever youcfeel is right is fine you don't need anyone else's permission to go or not. Xx

I didn't attend plea but went to sentencing. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be the most nervous part was the sitting around waiting to go in

Hi Mandymoo, I also don't think I will be attending court with my son, so you are not alone in your decision

. His Dad is going but I have said I will not be able to deal with it. My son is OK with my decision and understands. I certainly would not feel guilty about not going. Xx

It's a very hard decision but just do what's right for you. My person's plea hearing was via zoom and he had 3 sentencing appearances. I didn't attend any of them. I thought after reading evidence and going through the arrest and after math I couldn't go through hearing it all again. I really wanted to be there but we both felt it wasn't right. I did text him right up until he went in. I keot busy in the house and smoked like a trooper the whole time but it was definitely right. I honestly think though if it were my son, I'd go. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Take time to think about it. Gkad things are moving along for you.

Mandymoo

I was at my sons sentancing at crown court but it was my choice to do so , his sister didn't go because she couldn't face going but she dropped me off and gave me the biggest hug, It isn't a great experience and it will stay with me always

Seeing my son stand while the judge read out the charges and the sentancing was heartbreaking but again this was my choice to go and on my own xx

Do not feel guilty for not wanting to go your son will understand

You are with him all the way and your heart will be there with him so do what is right for you xx

I didn't know about this forum until after my person was sentenced. I wish I had known what to expect as I think I would have not attended the hearing/sentencing.

My reason is because it was mentioned the youngest ages found for cat A and B and it still haunts me. I knew the rough age ranges before and not as much detail as was said in court. Thankfully the press were not there and I had thought the risk of press was low as I thought press were mostly interested in people who were caught trying to meet children or people in job roles like teachers.

It is a personal decision but I hope this forum helps you go over your own personal choice- it is much better to be informed than be in the dark.

Hi,

Hope you are doing ok. I didn't go in with my husband I dropped him off at the door and then waited in the car park. It was very difficult and painful and probably surreal to watch him walk through that door.

I attended my OH plea but not sentencing. He was on remand, upto this point I had not seen him since arrested, as arrest to charges to sentencing was only 3 weeks and on remand for that. I told him i could not face it. As his family live miles away there was noone in the court. But it was via videolink. Not sure why as his plea was in person. But i also did not want to go due to fear of the media. But it is a personal choice. I did not regret my choice.



Do what is right for you. We all have to cope the best way we can.