Worried about the future
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Hi, i am more than jumping ahead of time, but I have a niggling question. Currently my OH is RUI with no terms and is living at home as SS have deemed him no risk to our boys. I am worried if he gets a SHPO. Can SS make him move out or have supervised contact with them? Do most people who have been charged with IIOC get these?
So many questions and I know I'm ahead of everything but I just want to prepare myself for anything that may come my way.
I'm so worried that my boys won't be able to have friends round if he is here and if they want birthday parties he won't be allowed to attend if he gets put on a SHPO.
I just want to keep my boys life as normal as possible so really hoping he doesn't get custodial when we get there. We have kept everything from them and I would hate to tear their daddy away from them. Despite what he has done and been the biggest turd I know. He is an amazing dad and I would never take that away from any of them.
The police rang for passwords (they already had) so I assume they were searching the phone so panic has hit hard the last few days.
To switch off for just 1 day would be amazing. I'm so tired.
So many questions and I know I'm ahead of everything but I just want to prepare myself for anything that may come my way.
I'm so worried that my boys won't be able to have friends round if he is here and if they want birthday parties he won't be allowed to attend if he gets put on a SHPO.
I just want to keep my boys life as normal as possible so really hoping he doesn't get custodial when we get there. We have kept everything from them and I would hate to tear their daddy away from them. Despite what he has done and been the biggest turd I know. He is an amazing dad and I would never take that away from any of them.
The police rang for passwords (they already had) so I assume they were searching the phone so panic has hit hard the last few days.
To switch off for just 1 day would be amazing. I'm so tired.
It will depend on the terms of the SHPO. But if they don't currently seem him as a risk, I don't think that'll necessarily change. My husband's offence was communication so different, he has a clause in his SHPO that he can't be around under 18s without Ss and their parents agreeing. One of the reasons why we're not together as I don't think it'd be fair on our kids who are teenagers to have disclose to anyone they want to bring home.
Thank you for your reply. This is what I am worried about, I don't want my boys not to be able to have friends over. They have done nothing wrong their lives should not change ( too much).
I think if he does end up with one that has strict restrictions he will have to move out.
I know this isn't the media part but if he still lives with us can I try and keep media away for the safety of my children? I'm worried because before all of this a man I know in the town was threatening to petrol bomb a house because a SO is living there. This has now terrified me but I don't want to move.
I think if he does end up with one that has strict restrictions he will have to move out.
I know this isn't the media part but if he still lives with us can I try and keep media away for the safety of my children? I'm worried because before all of this a man I know in the town was threatening to petrol bomb a house because a SO is living there. This has now terrified me but I don't want to move.
Hi N
My person was also communication like Lou's and there is no clause like her person has he does has others though. I think although you are trying to plan for the future it's really hards as everyone is treated different there are no standardised rules to this, just down to the judge on the day!
in relation to your media you can try and ask but court is in the public domain so it's free for reporters to report! Sometimes I wished it was out there just I don't have to continue living a lie! I did read a story on here court said no reporting but month later it was reported - not right but still damage is done! Concerntrate on the things you can change hun xx
My person was also communication like Lou's and there is no clause like her person has he does has others though. I think although you are trying to plan for the future it's really hards as everyone is treated different there are no standardised rules to this, just down to the judge on the day!
in relation to your media you can try and ask but court is in the public domain so it's free for reporters to report! Sometimes I wished it was out there just I don't have to continue living a lie! I did read a story on here court said no reporting but month later it was reported - not right but still damage is done! Concerntrate on the things you can change hun xx
Ours was in the media with home address despite him not living here anymore but I've had no issues. It does mean pretty much everyone knows though as we've lived here a long time.
Hi, I think that's the problem right now I can't change anything. I'm thinking the worst and hoping for the best right now. It annoys me because they are all about safe guarding kids but it's OK to put their last name and home address in the papers. Yes he has done wrong punish him but why should the media be able to destroy us even further. I'm terrified my kids won't be invited to parties or even kids being vile with words, because let's face it we all know they are. I'm so scared for my kids. We are well known and don't have a common last name.
Sorry went on one then. I'm so glad I have all of you because you are all the only people who know the constant battle that goes on in our heads. If it weren't for all of you I don't know where I would be.
Thank you for just messaging back. X
Sorry went on one then. I'm so glad I have all of you because you are all the only people who know the constant battle that goes on in our heads. If it weren't for all of you I don't know where I would be.
Thank you for just messaging back. X
In theory the SHPO should be a reflection of the offencing- ie if iioc with no contact/communication then the clause for no contact with under 18s or 16s (my partner has under 16s) should not be applied.
But my partner has this clause with no evidence on him having had tried to or made contact with children when offending. At the time we didn't know that this should have been challenged, and the solicitor was t not helpful in this. It had been suggested that my partner got this Clause because of the length of time of his offending (ten years) - but as far as I am aware nothing in writing to confirm this.
He now has to wait for five years into his SHPO to have a chance to get this clause removed. Because of this clause he hasn't. Een able to see his kids and is trying through the family courts. It has also made it difficult for us to navigate family life with my side of the family.
So my example is just a heads up that if the clause is added your person may want to mention to a solicitor sooner rather than later that they would like that clause prevented or challenged if charged with iioc only
But my partner has this clause with no evidence on him having had tried to or made contact with children when offending. At the time we didn't know that this should have been challenged, and the solicitor was t not helpful in this. It had been suggested that my partner got this Clause because of the length of time of his offending (ten years) - but as far as I am aware nothing in writing to confirm this.
He now has to wait for five years into his SHPO to have a chance to get this clause removed. Because of this clause he hasn't. Een able to see his kids and is trying through the family courts. It has also made it difficult for us to navigate family life with my side of the family.
So my example is just a heads up that if the clause is added your person may want to mention to a solicitor sooner rather than later that they would like that clause prevented or challenged if charged with iioc only
Majestictopaz
Thank you so much for your advice , I will certainly let him know to do this. As far as I am aware it's only been 2 years ish. He says not communicating but evidence is yet to come. My kids are both under 10 so let's hope for the best.
Thank you so much for your advice , I will certainly let him know to do this. As far as I am aware it's only been 2 years ish. He says not communicating but evidence is yet to come. My kids are both under 10 so let's hope for the best.