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Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Sat February 4, 2023 7:01pmReport post

This afternoon I'm a mess!

I feel like this week has just hit me like a truck. I've stayed strong for sentencing, I've stayed strong when SS emailed to say they were taking legal advice. I managed to attend a church meeting regarding my children's first Holy Communion on the evening of sentencing. I went to uni this week and didn't miss a lecturer, I attended my uni placement with a smile on my face. My kids haven't missed a club or extra curricular activity. I took my eldest to the theatre last night as a treat because she has been through this with me.

Now I just want to sit and cry my heart out. Nothing in particular going trough my head, I just need someone to hold me up tonight. The person who would normally be holding me up is the person who has knocked me down and as a result isn't even allowed to be in our home.

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Sat February 4, 2023 7:13pmReport post

Awww confused and worried...you sound like an absolute warrior, it's such a lonely place to be in isn't it. Just wanted to reply so send you a big virtual hug and you lots of strength and to let you know you are not alone in this awful journey xxxx

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Sat February 4, 2023 7:30pmReport post

All I can do is offer a virtual hug, wish we could all get together and sit in a load of blankets eating chocolate and ice cream (I went for the cliche option) whilst we all talked about what was going on and support each other as best we all could. I know that there would be loads of tears but also know it would be cathartic for us all.



love and hugs sent xx

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Sat February 4, 2023 8:22pmReport post

Absolutely understand this. Sit with your feelings for a while and let it all out. I find writing letters that I never send very therapeutic. I sometimes think when we get to couples counselling I'm going to completely lose it with him as I've protected him from so much of my raw emotion. Sending you a massive hug from one overstretched mom to another xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat February 4, 2023 9:03pmReport post

Aww Confused&worried

You have carried so much weight on your shoulders during this horrendous time and sometimes it just takes over and floors you

But you are so strong even though it doesn't feel like it at times x

Just wanted to send you hugs xx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

436 posts

Posted Sat February 4, 2023 9:27pmReport post

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I can relate to your words 'I just need someone to hold me up tonight. The person who would normally be holding me up is the person who has knocked me down'.

over the last few months i think it is this point that i have found most difficult. I just wish there was something i could do or say to help you. All i can say is you are not alone. Big hugs to you. X

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Sat February 4, 2023 10:24pmReport post

Sending you so much love and hugs xx

N

Member since
December 2022

50 posts

Posted Sat February 4, 2023 11:48pmReport post

We all need that hug and its hard when you loose your rock. Trying to navigate day to day life feels more like a chore now with fake smiles. You sound like a strong mumma who is doing nothing but the best for her kids. Sending you a big hug. Xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sun February 5, 2023 6:53amReport post

Bless you Confused x - yes your friends on here certainly 100% understand. On this journey it's a rollercoaster of emotions. As you described you can feel ok'ish then suddenly life seems to decline back to square one......

I wish I could say in the future you will forget all this, but it really changes your life. As time passes your life develops into a 'new normal', and the sun will appear through these dark clouds you are feeling (honestly it will).

love sent x

oh Dragonmama, I love the thought of a gathering under a blanket with chocolate (let's make it 'hot' chocolate)......

Edited Sun February 5, 2023 7:00am

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Sun February 5, 2023 7:56amReport post

Ahhh yes I totally understand. Give yourself permission to cry. Let it all out you'll feel crap at the time but better after. You've been through and are still going through hell so cry, scream, shout,. Do what you gotta do to let it out. I'd also love some hot chocolate with you guys. I'd imagine if we did this we'd feel. Less alone.

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Sun February 5, 2023 2:46pmReport post

@confused this journey is like grief. It comes in waves. However you are feeling give yourself permission to feel it. Cry if you need to, it's not a weakness, it's a release. Be kind to yourself on the darker days and appreciate the days where something gives you a moment of joy. Sending you love xx

WorseThanAnyNightmare

Member since
April 2022

82 posts

Posted Mon February 6, 2023 4:28pmReport post

You are doing so well, you've been so strong and doing everything you can for everyone else. It is normal for us to have times when it just gets too much to be strong anymore and we have to take a step back.

Take some time to be kind to yourself, don't expect anything of yourself but to get through the next few days.