3 Weeks In
Notifications OFF
Well it's been 3 weeks since the 'knock' and I don't think I have cried or been this anger my whole life.
Each day is bringing new emotions and feelings towards my husband, I am still very mixed up and confused as to where our lives are going, either together or apart.
Today is my husbands birthday and this is the first time in our 23 years together I have not brought him a birthday present let alone a card. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Thanks for listening xx
Each day is bringing new emotions and feelings towards my husband, I am still very mixed up and confused as to where our lives are going, either together or apart.
Today is my husbands birthday and this is the first time in our 23 years together I have not brought him a birthday present let alone a card. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Thanks for listening xx
Mata, I know the emotions you're talking about. You'll be feeling utterly conflicted. Angry, sad, drained, tired (I never thought of tired as an emotion until this came into my life, but it's the only way to describe how I feel some days!) but it's also hard to switch off 23 years of love overnight. I know that's what I'm finding the hardest thing - I'm angry and I'm hurting, but I still love my partner, which in turn makes me even angrier!
3 weeks, as much as it will feel like it's been an eternity, isn't a lot of time in the grand scheme of things, so don't pressure yourself to make any decisions about your future just yet. I've told my partner that, as much as I'm not "standing by him", I'm not walking away just yet, as doing so would remove any chance of his children having a relationship with him, so for now I will stay, and I'll make a decision when all the cards have fallen and when I'm not feeling quite as emotionally vulnerable.
Chin up. It's the start of another week. Xx
3 weeks, as much as it will feel like it's been an eternity, isn't a lot of time in the grand scheme of things, so don't pressure yourself to make any decisions about your future just yet. I've told my partner that, as much as I'm not "standing by him", I'm not walking away just yet, as doing so would remove any chance of his children having a relationship with him, so for now I will stay, and I'll make a decision when all the cards have fallen and when I'm not feeling quite as emotionally vulnerable.
Chin up. It's the start of another week. Xx
I’m really feeling for you Mata. Things like birthdays and anniversaries are even harder to bear than our ‘normal’ days now. And god knows they’re hard enough.
As everyone told me, and it’s so true, try and take each day as it comes, and focus on taking care of yourself, whatever you might need. To scream or cry, eat chocolate, drink wine, sleep, see friends or watch trash telly. Whatever you need is ok right now.
It’s three months today since the knock for me and it’s as if I’ve been reliving it all over again from 6.20 this morning.
You cant just turn off your love for someone, especially after such a long time together. And all of your emotions are valid. Try and let yourself feel them rather than pushing them away. It will help your helping.
Take care,
J x
As everyone told me, and it’s so true, try and take each day as it comes, and focus on taking care of yourself, whatever you might need. To scream or cry, eat chocolate, drink wine, sleep, see friends or watch trash telly. Whatever you need is ok right now.
It’s three months today since the knock for me and it’s as if I’ve been reliving it all over again from 6.20 this morning.
You cant just turn off your love for someone, especially after such a long time together. And all of your emotions are valid. Try and let yourself feel them rather than pushing them away. It will help your helping.
Take care,
J x
Hi Mata. My partner didn’t get a birthday card or present this time either - didn’t even get the kids to make him one. I was so busy with SS and working through this mess that it didn’t even figure in my thinking. To be honest, the amount I am going through because of him is a bigger gift than most people give their partners so quite frankly I thought he could f*** off this year!
Big sigh, for the first time in a few days, you just made me LOL! You've just articulated exactly how I feel. They're getting enough from us as it is - a card seems laughable!
We are heading into the birthday months as well. I share your sentiments!
Thank you Big Sigh - cheered me up!
My husband’s birthday is approaching too. Decree Nisi first with Decree Absolute on my birthday!!!
J x
My husband’s birthday is approaching too. Decree Nisi first with Decree Absolute on my birthday!!!
J x
Thank you ladies for your replies, such a bizarre day with bizarre feelings!
Big sigh, thank you for making me laugh out loud too ????????
Big sigh, thank you for making me laugh out loud too ????????
Don't know why it's posted???? Should of been smiley faces lol
I'm glad a few of us have managed to raise a (brief) smile today!
I'm hoping that as the days/weeks go on, those smiles will become more frequent.
(I did have a smile at the sick humour of the universe over the weekend, too; my stepson had been at a fair with his mum on Saturday and when he got to us he'd brought his "hook a duck" prize with him... A police set with handcuffs... He's no idea of the situation, so he thought putting the handcuffs on Daddy was hilarious! You couldn't write this s***!!)
I'm hoping that as the days/weeks go on, those smiles will become more frequent.
(I did have a smile at the sick humour of the universe over the weekend, too; my stepson had been at a fair with his mum on Saturday and when he got to us he'd brought his "hook a duck" prize with him... A police set with handcuffs... He's no idea of the situation, so he thought putting the handcuffs on Daddy was hilarious! You couldn't write this s***!!)
I am loving this thread. I was playing monopoly with my older 2. Got sent to jail and the middle one piped up: "you are visiting dad!" Dad is not in jail yet...
Oh I have a very dark one if we’re going there tonight. Went to watch a show with my son (who knows nothing) and the running joke for one of the characters is that they called him “nonce”. Audience thought it was hilarious especially when they talked about a Japanese translation for nonce being “massive paedo”. As you said you literally couldn’t make this sh** up
Absolutely ladies,
i agree and am also on holiday over Father’s Day in June this year. I can’t bring myself to buy him a birthday gift either, it’s way too much after what we have all been put through to spend money on them. My husband has me on speaking terms I think that’s all he wants. I haven’t abandoned him completely but yes pretty annoyed and frustrated at the whole thing and not hit court yet.
you all keep me sane!
i agree and am also on holiday over Father’s Day in June this year. I can’t bring myself to buy him a birthday gift either, it’s way too much after what we have all been put through to spend money on them. My husband has me on speaking terms I think that’s all he wants. I haven’t abandoned him completely but yes pretty annoyed and frustrated at the whole thing and not hit court yet.
you all keep me sane!
Big sigh
that certainly is a dark one.
that certainly is a dark one.
Jayne G and big sigh, thanks for making me laugh this morning. There’s dark humour within this at times and I think it helps make it more bearable. I was talking with my friend who knows what’s happened what my ex’s future tinder profile would look like if he were to be honest. We had a dark laugh. It’s better than crying all the time. Xx