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I don't know how I feel.

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ShatteredWorld

Member since
September 2022

19 posts

Posted Thu February 9, 2023 1:57pmReport post

I don't know how I feel.

It was late September when the "knock" happened.

We plan to move apart when the tenancy is up in May but it's still isn't straightforward. I feel partly bad because he will be alone and I am worried about that but I am also so excited to start fresh and happy to have space. He works from home so I am practically never alone, I am either at work with people or home where he is. Still only limited people are aware of what has happened and I still can only talk to them to an extent, my dad still doesn't know but probably will by May.

Everyone at work still mentions my partner as no one knows anything so I am just acting normal because even saying we are no longer together is too much. It still may take until the end of the year or longer for it to end in court. Yet I am grateful to not be too involved as in marriage or kids.

I also feel I am a lot younger than others on this forum and have no one to truly relate to fully.

Everytime I see him on his laptop or phone I can't help but wonder what he is up to. Does anyone else get this? While I believe when he says he isn't doing anything, the thought still pops into my head and I feel guilty.

I don't know where this was going but felt I needed a quick rant.

N

Member since
December 2022

50 posts

Posted Thu February 9, 2023 2:22pmReport post

Hi, I know how you feel, my OH is also always here as he's on the sick. Work feels like my only out or taking the dog for a walk. I'm quite new here as our knock wad December. But I just wanted to let you know your not the only younger one. I'm in my 20s and feel like this shouldn't be happening this early in our lives. Don't know if this helps.

Also I get him looking on his phone. It sends your mind into overdrive.



Look forward to your fresh start your deserve it. X

Edited Thu February 9, 2023 2:22pm

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

436 posts

Posted Thu February 9, 2023 4:17pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed February 22, 2023 11:20pm

ShatteredWorld

Member since
September 2022

19 posts

Posted Wed February 15, 2023 9:25pmReport post

N, I am so glad to hear someone else is in their 20s! While this shouldn't happen to anyone there is something about being young and having to deal with something like this!



I hope you're doing okay xx

ShatteredWorld

Member since
September 2022

19 posts

Posted Wed February 15, 2023 9:26pmReport post

Webb89, feel like you can't breath sometimes as it is just constantly there. As for the dogs, I so wish I had a dog or cat and do plan to get one when we got separate ways in May!

Hope you're having a good day xx

N

Member since
December 2022

50 posts

Posted Sat February 18, 2023 8:06amReport post

Shattered world, It does somehow seem more unfair with our ages, I know everyone is feeling the same in our situation, but it feels like a bit of a cruel joke that it has happened to us younger in life. Having children and being married in this situation sucks its so much harder to get away from it all.



My OH is now not allowed to live with us due to a domestic the other day. Which has made things a little easier even though he has been here daily.



I hope that you get the clean break you need and deserve if that is what you decide. You're young and need to enjoy your life. Be strong and don't let this define you as a person. Xx

Grapefruit976

Member since
January 2023

1 post

Posted Sat February 18, 2023 9:06amReport post

Hi Shattered World,

I just read your first post and I'm so sorry for what you've been going through.

My 'knock' happened almost three years ago, my heads still in turmoil to this day knowing what to do. I've never posted here before but its been recommended, I should have from the start as I've never really moved on from it, so its good youre posting now as it will help going forward I'm sure. I havent had counselling or anything but would recommend you do, or you'll be stuck here three years later like me, still no futher forward really and battling your mental health after avoiding dealing with it ????????

Im now 32, we were married with 3 kids, so youre not alone in having your life ruined so early.

Annamarie

Member since
December 2021

74 posts

Posted Sat February 18, 2023 8:19pmReport post

Hi.

I really understand what you mean about the phone. Don't feel guilty. You have the right to wonder and be suspicious. even if you believe him. I think these men should have more respect for us regarding their electrical gadgets. I get that they need to use them for work and sometime family messages and calls etc. But they should leave them alone aside from that.

Sorry, I feel really strongly about that with mu own situation and my husband just rolled hos eyes and chicked his phone down in a tantrum.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I hope you find some ease soon.

Take care x

ShatteredWorld

Member since
September 2022

19 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 5:48pmReport post

Annamarie

He barely speaks to his family. They didn't know anything for the first month or 2. I get why but it felt like it was more on me. But since they have found out it has'nt exactly changed much, I though his family would contact me directly to ask how I was (considering we live 5 hrs away) but they never have. They ask how I am through him but I just feel slightly annoyed that it his son, I live with him and they never messaged me. I couldn't message them as for his sake they did not know. I don't know, guess I feel a bit betrayed as if they're like well he is your problem. He has only been home once for xmas and apart from that they won't let him so I am stuck with him all the time.

ShatteredWorld

Member since
September 2022

19 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 5:52pmReport post

Hi Grapefruit976,

I have considered ther counselling sessions offered free when my OH was doing some courses but I just never saw the full point in talking to someone who couldn't change anything. I know nothing is gonna change anything. And people say "they're trained to deal with this" like I know that but they haven't been in the position and I can predict their responses. I just sometimes don't feel ready for counseling yet, plus I don't want to pay for it haha when it wasn't even my fault.