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Should I contact police?

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christina

Member since
March 2019

42 posts

Posted Mon May 20, 2019 10:40pmReport post

Has anyone got any advice on contacting police directly? We are 3 months in and they have not responded to recent contact the solicitor has made.

Is it worth a shot contacting them directly and letting them know how desperate the situation is in the hope we get some update or maybe even get them to speed things up a bit??

Also am I alone in thinking that whatever these men have done, the whole bloody process is so badly organised and badly run in terms of efficiency, protecting mental health of families and dare I say it the men involved? I just think its crazy.

Jayne G

Member since
March 2019

125 posts

Posted Tue May 21, 2019 8:30amReport post

Hi Christina,

Is your husband on bail or was he released under investigation? If he's on bail they have a timescale by which point they need to respond to you. If he's under investigation I think it's a big trickier.

I agree - the not knowing and the lack of communication makes the whole situation harder and I know what you mean about the men concerned and their mental health; they are certainly not saints, and I don't condone what any of them have done, but it seems almost a form of psychological torture for some. That said, we've been "lucky" (whatever that means) in that the officers dealing with my partner's case have been pretty proactive and they've certainly not minded me getting in contact with them when I've needed to. They even came out to discuss things with me face to face when I called them concerned.

christina

Member since
March 2019

42 posts

Posted Tue May 21, 2019 10:46amReport post

He's under investigation. Wasn't questioned or arrested. Just had stuff taken. But its meant he's suspended from work, we live apart, his family are suffering with mental health problems exacerbated by the situation. And nothing from the police.

When they searched our house they said "if its just chat, its just chat." I don't even know what to make of this!!! Surely if it's just chat they'd know by now 4 months in. And if not, surely they'd do soemthing. He has access to children in extended family, and they've done nothing to restrict that.

Also on the day of search they asked for logins to email and social media but then didn't listen to the answer as the lead investigator started talking to another officer and she never asked him again. So they didn't ask for access to his email or social media. I find that really weird - if they were so worried about him why didn't they take that stuff??

Jayne G

Member since
March 2019

125 posts

Posted Tue May 21, 2019 11:28amReport post

Gosh, I can only imagine how stressful "under investigation" is. My partner was bailed with a condition that he couldn't have any unsupervised contact with anyone under 16. He was told that this was only put in place due to the fact that he has two children, but it's still been a horrendous shift. (I'm authorised to supervise contact, but it literally means I can't even go for a wee without making him come with me, so that the kids don't go to him while I'm in the bathroom.)

My understanding of "under investigation" is that it can go on for some time as they don't have a timescale they have to work to. It's odd that he's not been questioned/interviewed as well. With my partner having been arrested, it meant he was appointed a solicitor for questioning, so it's on the solicitor to chase up as well.

If I were you I'd certainly see if you can get in contact with someone at the police station; I have done so and they've been really supportive and, whilst they've not been able to give me timescales, they were able to talk me through the process etc and what to expect. As we're not married, they couldn't tell me the ins and outs, but they've done as much as they possibly can for me.

JB72

Member since
October 2018

108 posts

Posted Tue May 21, 2019 11:36amReport post

Christina

ypu should have been given the number for the lead investigator as I was when my husband was under investigation, I contacted her several times but she didn’t have any info until they’d finished looking at the devices, as soon as that happened she made an appointment to come and speak to me in person, I think if you haven’t heard anything it’s because they still don’t know themselves, it took 7 months for them to look at the devices

hope that helps x