Is This Normal?
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OH was sentenced last Friday, he got a suspended sentence, SHPO & SOR for 10yrs, community service, rehabilitation etc.
Over the last year I'd been waiting for sentencing so that we'd at least know what we're facing, and I fully expected to feel massive relief when that was over, and then for things to be able to start to improve. But apart from the day of sentencing and the relief that he came home, I feel just as bad. I'm not sleeping again, back to panicking when I hear car doors or the doorbell rings. And I'm so anxious I can barely function.
Is it normal to feel like this? Or is there something wrong with me? How do I start to move on from this? Right now I feel like I can't cope with looking over our shoulder's for the next 10 years, and having so many hoops to jump through. OH committed this crime, not me, and I'm angry that I'm never going to be allowed to forget it.
Over the last year I'd been waiting for sentencing so that we'd at least know what we're facing, and I fully expected to feel massive relief when that was over, and then for things to be able to start to improve. But apart from the day of sentencing and the relief that he came home, I feel just as bad. I'm not sleeping again, back to panicking when I hear car doors or the doorbell rings. And I'm so anxious I can barely function.
Is it normal to feel like this? Or is there something wrong with me? How do I start to move on from this? Right now I feel like I can't cope with looking over our shoulder's for the next 10 years, and having so many hoops to jump through. OH committed this crime, not me, and I'm angry that I'm never going to be allowed to forget it.
I am feeling exactly the same after sentencing and my son receiving a community order I was completely relieved and began to think we could all move forward albeit with restrictions in place.
Following the visit from the visor and my son being forced to resign from his job I am now back to feeling scared at every knock on the door and really anxious all the time.
How I am going to cope for the next 5 years I really don't know.
Following the visit from the visor and my son being forced to resign from his job I am now back to feeling scared at every knock on the door and really anxious all the time.
How I am going to cope for the next 5 years I really don't know.
I was much worse mentally after sentencing last year. I was not prepared to feel the way I did afterwards (also suspended) and ended up being off work with anxiety and depression and medicated.
the only way I can explain it, is that I was in fight and survival mode - SS, court etc prior to sentencing, then once things are finalised your body and mind starts to grieve for what you've lost.
The emotions of the past however many months flooded me and it was truly awful.
Talk, relax, grieve, roll with it, it won't last forever. Get yourself some counselling and don't be too hard on yourself. If you need a day in bed, do it. If you need to get away, do it. Hugs x
the only way I can explain it, is that I was in fight and survival mode - SS, court etc prior to sentencing, then once things are finalised your body and mind starts to grieve for what you've lost.
The emotions of the past however many months flooded me and it was truly awful.
Talk, relax, grieve, roll with it, it won't last forever. Get yourself some counselling and don't be too hard on yourself. If you need a day in bed, do it. If you need to get away, do it. Hugs x
I've found post sentencing a complete roller coaster of emotions so I don't think what you are experiencing is unusual. It's now 6 weeks for us and I'm starting to feel stronger but it's been one thing after another since be was sentenced (also suspended), I think the reality of living with a conviction has really started to sink in for my husband.
Same for me Lou, I get really angry when we can't go somewhere or do something and worry about employer finding out again. I have days when I think I can't do this for 7 years and then better days when I just hope everything will be ok
Hi All - I don't think the anxiety ever goes away to be honest -I certainly haven't gone back to a relaxed mode. Its such a traumatic experience.
Take a couple of days ago late evening there was a knock at the door- I was on my own. I never answer the door when I'm on my own, but I was bloody terrified and couldn't rest til I'd text my neighbours and was told a courier had tried to leave his parcel with me. I was shaking!
I'm fearful of people at work finding out about my son and bumping into someone who asks questions about him.
of course I carry a burden of guilt with my family as regards keeping in touch with my son.
It's horrible and I'd love to shake this all off. But I suppose we reshape our lives and carry on as best we can....... not ideal though is it, when innocent, certainly gets me down.
Take a couple of days ago late evening there was a knock at the door- I was on my own. I never answer the door when I'm on my own, but I was bloody terrified and couldn't rest til I'd text my neighbours and was told a courier had tried to leave his parcel with me. I was shaking!
I'm fearful of people at work finding out about my son and bumping into someone who asks questions about him.
of course I carry a burden of guilt with my family as regards keeping in touch with my son.
It's horrible and I'd love to shake this all off. But I suppose we reshape our lives and carry on as best we can....... not ideal though is it, when innocent, certainly gets me down.
Friends are always shocked when I tell them the impact this has on our lives, and we're not even still together.
Thanks so much for the replies.
It's good to know that the way I'm feeling is normal, but bad to know that this is likely to be my life for a long time.
PPU are coming today and I feel sick to my stomach worrying about what hoops they're going to want OH to jump through.
Right now I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through this future I've had thrust upon me, but I know I have no choice.
It's good to know that the way I'm feeling is normal, but bad to know that this is likely to be my life for a long time.
PPU are coming today and I feel sick to my stomach worrying about what hoops they're going to want OH to jump through.
Right now I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through this future I've had thrust upon me, but I know I have no choice.