Social Services Referral
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Hello, my fiancé has 5 weeks left of a 5 year community order, SHPO and being on the SO. We found out we are expecting our first baby and during my first appointment I was asked if either of us had any convictions around children, been involved with probation etc. I was honest and told them about my OH criminal record (possession & distribution of IIOC & voyeurism).
I was told we would be referred to SS and this week we both received a phone call from a SW who said someone would be in touch to speak to us separately about an assessment being carried out. No more details were given and all I was told that they see him as a tier 4 risk to children, even though MAPPA class him as low risk.
His SHPO is based around the internet and not being allowed to delete his history, monitoring on his phone etc.
I guess really I'm looking for advice on what happens next, I'm keen for us to stay as a family unit and know SS will be looking to see that I will protect my child. But I've read so much on SS I just don't see a positive outcome. What if you don't say what they want to hear, it's such a rollercoaster of emotions.
I'm aware of the services out there to help such as stop it now and LFF and have previously looked at their support for preordering your child and safety plans but it's all new for me and now a reality.
We are due to get married June this year and baby is due August.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated.
I was told we would be referred to SS and this week we both received a phone call from a SW who said someone would be in touch to speak to us separately about an assessment being carried out. No more details were given and all I was told that they see him as a tier 4 risk to children, even though MAPPA class him as low risk.
His SHPO is based around the internet and not being allowed to delete his history, monitoring on his phone etc.
I guess really I'm looking for advice on what happens next, I'm keen for us to stay as a family unit and know SS will be looking to see that I will protect my child. But I've read so much on SS I just don't see a positive outcome. What if you don't say what they want to hear, it's such a rollercoaster of emotions.
I'm aware of the services out there to help such as stop it now and LFF and have previously looked at their support for preordering your child and safety plans but it's all new for me and now a reality.
We are due to get married June this year and baby is due August.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated.
Hi,
Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. What are his probation officer and offender managers thoughts on the pregnancy? I know you said they've classed him as low risk but having them onside might help with ss. I don't think my la have ever mentioned tiers so can't advise on that.
It is possible to stay together as a family unit, it may not be easy but there are those who have done it. To be proactive you can do safeguarding courses and if your fiancé has done any work on himself to understand how he ended up in the situation and measures he has put in place to ensure it won't happen again then you can give dates and proof of this.
In terms of a safety plan that depends on what you are working towards for your family unit. For my youngest I supervise contact and do all of her personal care, we don't live together as I have older children who aren't his and don't want to see him. There are people on here whose partners and ex partners have unsupervised contact. Looking at it from a completely skeptical perspective I don't think I'd want unsupervised contact for a child who isn't talking but that is just me and I'm probably over cautious by nature. I've only just put my youngest in nursery as she can talk and tell me if anything happens that makes her unhappy. Another thing to consider is no devices around when baby is being changed, it was something mentioned by ss to me and it stuck in my head. Hopefully someone who has been able to stay as a unit from pregnancy will be able to give more advice. As it's early days you may find that ss will have finished their assessments and closed the case before baby arrives. All the best to you and your family xxx
Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. What are his probation officer and offender managers thoughts on the pregnancy? I know you said they've classed him as low risk but having them onside might help with ss. I don't think my la have ever mentioned tiers so can't advise on that.
It is possible to stay together as a family unit, it may not be easy but there are those who have done it. To be proactive you can do safeguarding courses and if your fiancé has done any work on himself to understand how he ended up in the situation and measures he has put in place to ensure it won't happen again then you can give dates and proof of this.
In terms of a safety plan that depends on what you are working towards for your family unit. For my youngest I supervise contact and do all of her personal care, we don't live together as I have older children who aren't his and don't want to see him. There are people on here whose partners and ex partners have unsupervised contact. Looking at it from a completely skeptical perspective I don't think I'd want unsupervised contact for a child who isn't talking but that is just me and I'm probably over cautious by nature. I've only just put my youngest in nursery as she can talk and tell me if anything happens that makes her unhappy. Another thing to consider is no devices around when baby is being changed, it was something mentioned by ss to me and it stuck in my head. Hopefully someone who has been able to stay as a unit from pregnancy will be able to give more advice. As it's early days you may find that ss will have finished their assessments and closed the case before baby arrives. All the best to you and your family xxx