Family and Friends Forum

Morning my dear friend Smile,

I have not had to live with lies over my sons offending so I cannot offer much advise xx

However if this is what you need to do to be there for your son then we all have to do what is right in the situation, but if it is causing you hurt and pain that is not fair to you xx

Bless you Smile

It is so unfair and while hubby is angry etc he should respect your decisions, this journey is bloody hard enough as it is without added pressure,

I like you could not imagine walking away from my son it would break me xx

Hugs xx

Perhaps our attitude to lies stems from childhood. We are told constantly that lying is bad and we should never lie. However as adults we can 'choose' what we say to others in order to protect ourselves or our families. This is choice, these choices are not intended to hurt others they are an attempt to protect. The motivation is completely different. I'm glad your husband respects your choice & I hope you find peace with your choices too x

No advice but just wanted to say you're a wonderful mum for not turning your back on your son. Life won't always be this difficult xx

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Oh Smile I know exactly where you are coming from.

I have had to lie to friends and to family about the reason we moved away from our previous home and it is not in my nature to do so.

With some family it is to protect them as they are elderly and wouldn't be able to cope with the situation but also I don't want gossip and negativity regarding my son.

He made a stupid mistake which we are now all paying for but he is not a bad person and I could never abandon him.

Sending you a massive hug you are an amazing Mum xxx

Just checking in with you Smile to see if you are feeling a bit better than this morning xx

Smile, I wouldn't think of it as lying, it's for protection. How could we ever turn our back on our sons. You do what's best for you and your son xxx

Smile, it is so hard having to lie but you do because you have to

As I have mentioned before why not write a letter to your hubby, we are so reluctant to talk about our fears but you can express so much more in writing, why should you have to hide your feelings, if us mums walked away who would our sons have, we carried them , we felt every kick, hiccup, we gave birth to them, we watched them grow, but yet they brought this hell of a journey to us, broke our hearts, and let us down, but yet through all of this it has brought me closer to my son , I don't understand why but I understand how he got here as we have never been more open and honest, I wish with all my heart we had this bond before but we didn't so for now I hold on to the fact he is here and so am I, he is ok and so am I, he is doing ok and so am I, we take every day , one step at a time and so will you, you are such a kind and gentle person who would sacrifice your heart for your son xx

Ooh upset mum, that's such a heartfelt lovely post xxx

Kt thank you x

Smile, how could we know they lived this life until it exploded,

How could they tell the one person they love more than anything, yet they led us here, they left behind victims who suffer because of their actions, but yet we don't walk away, we carry the pain and turmoil, they got lost, and got so deep, when my son talks about it he owns what he did, he hates what he has done but he couldn't open up, he knew what he did was wrong , his sister says even now she cant believe her brother is in prison, how can he be but yet he is, I hate this journey but it has brought me here xx