I honestly don't know what is happening
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So long story short, my partner was arrester Jan 22 for iioc and sexual communication with an officer he thought was a child.
Social services closed the case in March, happy that I was protecting our son and that he didn't pose an immediate threat.
I'm now pregnant again and due in May with another boy and partner is released under investigation, as his bail ended before they were ready to prosecute.
Social services are now back in touch stating that I haven't followed the safety plan (which I thought was to follow the bail conditions set, and absolutely have always followed, until his bail ended).
Basically my question is this: we are currently awaiting another social worker being assigned and another risk assessment done because obviously now his bail conditions aren't imposed.
If social services decide I have to oversee their contact again and essentially leave me with nobody to care for either child in an emergency what do I do? I'm due to have a csection in May, and obviously if I can't leave my son with his dad and I can't take him to surgery I don't know what I'm meant to do. I don't have anyone else I could leave him with. What if there's a medical emergency with me? I asked the duty social worker this on the phone and was essentially told "don't worry about it" well I am worried.
I've been following what the police said as that's what I agreed when the SS assessment was done but apparently they have written down that I agreed to a safety plan to never leave them together ever. Which I didn't. I agreed to follow what the police said which I always have.
If there's no legal reason they can't be alone together, why are social services now back on my case?
I'm just so tired with it all.
Social services closed the case in March, happy that I was protecting our son and that he didn't pose an immediate threat.
I'm now pregnant again and due in May with another boy and partner is released under investigation, as his bail ended before they were ready to prosecute.
Social services are now back in touch stating that I haven't followed the safety plan (which I thought was to follow the bail conditions set, and absolutely have always followed, until his bail ended).
Basically my question is this: we are currently awaiting another social worker being assigned and another risk assessment done because obviously now his bail conditions aren't imposed.
If social services decide I have to oversee their contact again and essentially leave me with nobody to care for either child in an emergency what do I do? I'm due to have a csection in May, and obviously if I can't leave my son with his dad and I can't take him to surgery I don't know what I'm meant to do. I don't have anyone else I could leave him with. What if there's a medical emergency with me? I asked the duty social worker this on the phone and was essentially told "don't worry about it" well I am worried.
I've been following what the police said as that's what I agreed when the SS assessment was done but apparently they have written down that I agreed to a safety plan to never leave them together ever. Which I didn't. I agreed to follow what the police said which I always have.
If there's no legal reason they can't be alone together, why are social services now back on my case?
I'm just so tired with it all.
I'm sick of being punished for a crime that wasn't even mine.
I'm just hurting and looking for a little bit of solidarity I guess.
I'm just hurting and looking for a little bit of solidarity I guess.
@LonelyMum, I am sorry you're going through this. Social services are a nightmare.
My advice would be to write an email to them and rationally and calm explain that you always followed the safety plan. Ask them in writing why they say you didn't adhere to the safety plan.
My advice would be to write an email to them and rationally and calm explain that you always followed the safety plan. Ask them in writing why they say you didn't adhere to the safety plan.
Congratulations on your pregnancy btw
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It maybe because of being pregnant and they think you have let him back easier than they would like. We have just done a new safety plan as we are past sentencing and want my husband home and it states in it that if I were to get pregnant again then it would have to be reported to SS and they would be involved again
What @HelpMe is saying is probably right. My husband has also been released under investigation and we still have to follow a safety plan from SS, by which he can never be alone with the kids.
There's a possibility that social services didn't explain this to you properly?
There's a possibility that social services didn't explain this to you properly?
Sorry lonelymum I missed the part about you had stopped because bail ended. We never had a safety plan but it followed the bail conditions we are still following bail conditions even though we're past sentencing because it's what SS have. Our new plan starts next week and his still not allowed unsupervised and only one night at home a week as a phased return gradually increasing.
I'd write a list of questions and print all emails that you have from them to show that you we're informed that you could change the safety plan you had in place
I'd write a list of questions and print all emails that you have from them to show that you we're informed that you could change the safety plan you had in place
We found SS very poor in communication. It felt like we were expected to know the process without being told. It was our first contact with them. I'm not sure if we were considered low risk as children old enough to advocate for themselves or as I didn't want my husband home, but they were happy with supervised visits at home. I wasn't asked to do a safety plan or anything else and they closed our case quite quickly but never explained what it meant. I've learnt more from this forum than SS. We've kept to the same agreement and are now post sentencing.
So basically it was never made clear tp us that the plan was essentially forever. We were just expected to know that apparently. They've now reiterated that the safety plan is to continue to be followed which obviously I'm happy to do.
The way the social worker spoke to me was absolutely horrible though, they make me feel like basically I didnt care if my kids got hurt, and even judged me because I'm planning to have a csection because I won't be able to wrestle with my three year old.
They're not to be alone together, and he's not to change nappies which obviously is okay with me, but the communication has been shocking. I'm meant to just guess what to do. She literally told me that if an emergency with this pregnancy were to arise I'd be expected to bleed out before leaving my son.
Like obviously I won't leave him but I surely can't be expected to just die. Like what on earth.
I sent a big list of questions which she has refused to answer like "what age does this apply to, when the boys are teenagers do I have to still take them to the toilet with me?" "is this going to be reassessed at any point?"
Literally just nothing and then they treat me like the criminal when I don't know what's going on.
I'm not going to leave them alone, ofcourse not but I don't need to be treated like dirt.
It hurts.
The way the social worker spoke to me was absolutely horrible though, they make me feel like basically I didnt care if my kids got hurt, and even judged me because I'm planning to have a csection because I won't be able to wrestle with my three year old.
They're not to be alone together, and he's not to change nappies which obviously is okay with me, but the communication has been shocking. I'm meant to just guess what to do. She literally told me that if an emergency with this pregnancy were to arise I'd be expected to bleed out before leaving my son.
Like obviously I won't leave him but I surely can't be expected to just die. Like what on earth.
I sent a big list of questions which she has refused to answer like "what age does this apply to, when the boys are teenagers do I have to still take them to the toilet with me?" "is this going to be reassessed at any point?"
Literally just nothing and then they treat me like the criminal when I don't know what's going on.
I'm not going to leave them alone, ofcourse not but I don't need to be treated like dirt.
It hurts.
@LonelyMum, did your social worker really tell you to bleed out in case of emergeny?
If that's true, you should make an urgent complaint to her manager tomorrow.
She can get herself into legal problems for giving you dangerous advice.
She also needs further training because she should never speak to a pregnant woman like this. When you're pregnant you're more vulnerable and you're at risk of postpartum depression and need to be treated with kindness and respect.
I am so angry on your behalf.
If that's true, you should make an urgent complaint to her manager tomorrow.
She can get herself into legal problems for giving you dangerous advice.
She also needs further training because she should never speak to a pregnant woman like this. When you're pregnant you're more vulnerable and you're at risk of postpartum depression and need to be treated with kindness and respect.
I am so angry on your behalf.
Yeah, she did.
Honestly she's just straight up horrible.
Honestly she's just straight up horrible.
Baby boy #2 will be here in 8 weeks time by csection, luckily my friend is going to look after my 3 year old for a few days whilst I'm in hospital.
As for the social I still don't know where I stand tbh. I sent her a list of questions about the safety plan not got an answer to any of them. She rang last Monday saying "I am reiterating don't leave them alone" so I just repeated that I have no intention of leaving them alone together.
She's honestly just such a bully. And idk what to do "my only concern is *child*'s safety." Yes I'm concerned about it too, but it's not the only thing I'm concerned about.
She told offender that because he's a porn addict he will get worse and end up harming our sons.
Shes honestly horrible. I'm not really sure how I go about complaining. On top of it all we're about to be made homeless too, so I asked her if there was anything she could do to help with that and she said "my job is *just* to make you aware you cannot leave them alone and if you do we will make him move out". I asked her about when we have to live in a hotel if the bathroom is separate from the bedroom and she said I'd have to wake up both children and take them to the toilet with me every time. Surely it's abusive to do that to babies?
??????
As for the social I still don't know where I stand tbh. I sent her a list of questions about the safety plan not got an answer to any of them. She rang last Monday saying "I am reiterating don't leave them alone" so I just repeated that I have no intention of leaving them alone together.
She's honestly just such a bully. And idk what to do "my only concern is *child*'s safety." Yes I'm concerned about it too, but it's not the only thing I'm concerned about.
She told offender that because he's a porn addict he will get worse and end up harming our sons.
Shes honestly horrible. I'm not really sure how I go about complaining. On top of it all we're about to be made homeless too, so I asked her if there was anything she could do to help with that and she said "my job is *just* to make you aware you cannot leave them alone and if you do we will make him move out". I asked her about when we have to live in a hotel if the bathroom is separate from the bedroom and she said I'd have to wake up both children and take them to the toilet with me every time. Surely it's abusive to do that to babies?
??????