Family and Friends Forum

Annamarie

Member since
December 2021

74 posts

Posted Sat February 18, 2023 8:05pmReport post

Hello everyone

Sometimes the pain of what my husband has done is so overwhelming, I don't know what to do.

I try to keep busy to distract my mind and block it out but sometime it just doesn't work. I end up sitting on the sofa staring into space or walking around the house wringing my hands.

I still can't get my head around this whole situation. I have been waiting for the police to finish looking at his phone for 14 months. I don't think I've actually moved on from that day, I'm still in limbo.

I really would love to just end it all. I fantasise about not being here any more. I would NEVER do it. I would not leave my 2 children with no parents (they are not seeing him anymore). It still doesn't stop.me from wishing I could.

I'm starting to wonder if it will ever feel like it's over. I'm trying to move hours away from here, the home he lived in with us. I'm changing my car (that he bought me). I've gotten rid of everything I can that reminds me of him but, even my sofas, knives and forks and even towels remind me of him. We were married for almost 22 years so everything in this home these is ours, not just mine. It's just gets to me and all becomes too much.

I'm sorry to ramble on. I just don't know what to do with myself.

Take care of yourselves. I'm trying to take care of me.

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Sat February 18, 2023 10:51pmReport post

I'm so sorry you're struggling and experiencing the feelings you are. I'd recommend speaking to your GP or perhaps the LFF helpline. These events are traumatic and the effects on us are profound, I believe they result in PTSD for many. To fully overcome this you may need help to process what you've experienced & support moving forward x

Edited Sat February 18, 2023 10:52pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sun February 19, 2023 1:59amReport post

Ahh bless you Annamarie, I know having a house full of reminders is extremely painful. Our house is full of memories (my son is in prison) and won't be returning here to live. I often wonder if I'm quite mad when I talk to him in his room.

I sometimes feel I should seek help from my GP or whether medication would help, then I think medication doesn't take away the situation I am in does it?

it's such a hard journey - I know exactly how you feel x

Edited Sun February 19, 2023 2:01am