Don’t know what to do
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My dad was done for having category C indecent images over 2 years ago. His course case was two months ago and it has now come out in the press and I don’t know what to do. I understand that what he has done is severely wrong but he saw it as an escapism and didn’t see it being a reality so did not at the time thinking about it hurting me and my family. We are still a family, my mum is still with my dad and me and my brother still have stuck by him however this is when nothing was in the media, which now it is I am worried that so many people I know will find outt as I have already had quite a few people question me about this and I find myself having to stress that although my dad has made this mistake he is not a bad person and he is not one of these people who would ever hurt or abuse anyone! I don’t know what to do because I can’t go to work and I just feel like I can’t face anyone. My mum suffers with severe anxiety and depression so I haven’t told her it’s in the papers! I have never had to deal with something being public and I feel it is so cruel that people publish when they don’t think of the affect it is going to have on others. I have now been signed off work for 3 weeks and don’t even know how I’m going to face anyone after this.
hi Evie
my boyfriend has done something similar to your dad, not gone public yet but apparently it's just a matter of time, the wait is so painful, I feel like all my family and friends will think I am crazy for sticking by his side, but I know he is not a horrible person, he just made a mistake watching those stuff online and he would never do anything wrong to a child. but no one will see it like me, I wish I could just go away and start fresh somewhere else, but I can't because I gave to take care of my mum too. the media don't get how many life's they change with just one picture
my boyfriend has done something similar to your dad, not gone public yet but apparently it's just a matter of time, the wait is so painful, I feel like all my family and friends will think I am crazy for sticking by his side, but I know he is not a horrible person, he just made a mistake watching those stuff online and he would never do anything wrong to a child. but no one will see it like me, I wish I could just go away and start fresh somewhere else, but I can't because I gave to take care of my mum too. the media don't get how many life's they change with just one picture
Hello,
I don’t know if this is the case for your boyfriend but for my dad it starts off as a porn addiction and then it got to that point. I know that he would never hurt a child and I know he has never shown any qualities of that type. When they are looking at these images etc they are removing them self from reality and not understanding that these children are real.
My dad has been nothing but a loving and caring dad to me and has been through thick and thin with my family so of course I am going to stick by him. Unfortunately it’s such a taboo subject which no one is aware of therefore people’s reactions immediately will think pedophile and not have any other judgement. They just read a name and forget that this is a human being they are reading about.
It is in the newspapers and now online and I just feel as though I can’t go out my house as they’ve exposed the street we live on and the village. I don’t have a common surname as well so when people read this they will know for sure it is my dad and my family.
I don’t know if this is the case for your boyfriend but for my dad it starts off as a porn addiction and then it got to that point. I know that he would never hurt a child and I know he has never shown any qualities of that type. When they are looking at these images etc they are removing them self from reality and not understanding that these children are real.
My dad has been nothing but a loving and caring dad to me and has been through thick and thin with my family so of course I am going to stick by him. Unfortunately it’s such a taboo subject which no one is aware of therefore people’s reactions immediately will think pedophile and not have any other judgement. They just read a name and forget that this is a human being they are reading about.
It is in the newspapers and now online and I just feel as though I can’t go out my house as they’ve exposed the street we live on and the village. I don’t have a common surname as well so when people read this they will know for sure it is my dad and my family.
yeah that's totally how he ended up seeing those things too, I hate how he is considered at the same level of people who are actually hurting innocent with their own hands and actually enjoying it.thats not fair. I wish we could just pack and start fresh. sending u hugs x
I completely agree! I hope everything works itself out for you, and people do not pass too many judgements! I just have to keep telling myself if people make judgements and are not understanding then you know who your real friends/family are etc. My thoughts are with you both! Sending you both hugs xx
Hi Evie
i could not agree more about the press not giving two hoots about hurting innocent family members by reporting street names and the village in the paper. In our case our son communicated with an underage girl. He is serving 12 months in prison at the moment.
we were warned by the solicitor that it would make the papers. Fortunately it only went in the local paper in the county we lived in when the offence happened. We moved long before it went to court to avoid what your going through right now.
moving away helped a lot but it did not stop the gossip. We were lucky in that it never made the whole Facebook thing but it did do the rounds with people we know. Like you our family is standing by our son. He never touched anyone and never would. He just made the most stupid mistake by getting into a conversation with someone underage as in 14/15 year I,d. It was all two way as well. He’s now paying the price for it.
the press don’t care who they hurt in their quest to fill their pages and that’s just plain pure fact.
really hope you feel better soon.
i could not agree more about the press not giving two hoots about hurting innocent family members by reporting street names and the village in the paper. In our case our son communicated with an underage girl. He is serving 12 months in prison at the moment.
we were warned by the solicitor that it would make the papers. Fortunately it only went in the local paper in the county we lived in when the offence happened. We moved long before it went to court to avoid what your going through right now.
moving away helped a lot but it did not stop the gossip. We were lucky in that it never made the whole Facebook thing but it did do the rounds with people we know. Like you our family is standing by our son. He never touched anyone and never would. He just made the most stupid mistake by getting into a conversation with someone underage as in 14/15 year I,d. It was all two way as well. He’s now paying the price for it.
the press don’t care who they hurt in their quest to fill their pages and that’s just plain pure fact.
really hope you feel better soon.
Hi nicenana
I completely agree. I don’t condone the fact that they were looking/speaking to people underage it is wrong, however the way they get portrayed is in comparison to these people who have touched underage teenagers and even children.
I know my dad, just like you know your son and you know they are not bad people they have just made a stupid mistake which has ruined their life’s and the people around them.
I so wish we had the money to move away but for us that is just not an option therefore we’re stuck here and that’s what I’m finding the most difficult as I just want to run away with my family and just start fresh with no judgements.
Hugs to you all xx
I completely agree. I don’t condone the fact that they were looking/speaking to people underage it is wrong, however the way they get portrayed is in comparison to these people who have touched underage teenagers and even children.
I know my dad, just like you know your son and you know they are not bad people they have just made a stupid mistake which has ruined their life’s and the people around them.
I so wish we had the money to move away but for us that is just not an option therefore we’re stuck here and that’s what I’m finding the most difficult as I just want to run away with my family and just start fresh with no judgements.
Hugs to you all xx