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What to do now?

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Scared and confused

Member since
February 2023

9 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 9:59amReport post

So it's not even been a week and we had a visit from the police, since found out it's called the "knock". I was just about to go to work and they were there, the kids and my husband still asleep. They took my husband away and questioned him for indecent images of children.
He admitted it all in the police station and then I was told I had to pick him up.
Everything has just gone down hill, my life as I know it has been torn apart and in the matter of hours I am a single mum.
I still don't think it has sunk in, he was my best friend as well as my husband and practically perfect. We shared all household chores and child care and he was supportive of my career.
The thing is I don't feel angry, I know I should and that should be my natural reaction but I just don't feel angry. I know I should not let him see or speak to the children and at the fear of being judged I have let him have contact supervised by myself. I am disgusted at what he has done and I was physically sick when told but I just can't seem to stop loving him.
Is it wrong? I feel guilty because I still love him.
Do I just do what society says I should and divorce him. I'm so confused. I'm scared of making it on my own and I'm scared of doing the wrong thing. I'm scared that I love someone who has done something so wrong and vile that does it make me a disgusting vile person also?

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 10:45amReport post

Hi,

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation. This journey is so individual, there is no right or wrong way to feel or to move forward only what feels best to you for your family. To be honest I still have days that I question if my own moral compass is off for loving someone who has done something so disgusting. You haven't done anything wrong. Like your OH my person was amazing, supportive and caring so for me to get my head around his polar opposite behaviour online has been and continues to be a struggle. I also supervise contact between him and our daughter, this is 100% the best thing for her. Creating a safe environment for your children is again a personal issue so nobody can dictate the best way for you to do this, you know them better than anyone. In these early days try not to feel pressured into making any big decisions, eat and sleep when you can and look after yourself. Sending love xxx

Edited Mon February 20, 2023 10:46am

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 2:23pmReport post

I am a bit further down the road than you but in much the same situation. I honestly thought he was the perfect person. But Good People do Bad Things, love the sinner, hate the sin etc.

Lots of women stay, and I am pretty certain my OH will move back in once all the legal stuff is done. I don't know about ever resuming a physical relationship, but I still love him and enjoy spending time with him.



Sorry you've joined this club. Phone LFF, do the course, get help from your GP and do whatever you feel is right for you and your kids.



xx

Scared and confused

Member since
February 2023

9 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 4:02pmReport post

Thank you for your kind and supportive words.
I went to work today, felt awful all day and knots in my stomach but didn't want to hang around at home.
SS contacted me today to meet the children this week. So scared that they will make things worse.
Thank you ladies and really appreciate the responses.