Sentencing, media
Notifications OFF
Hi All,
So some of you know my story of the police coming to my work in a school after my husband was arrested in October.
He had sentencing on Wednesday, 5 year SOR, 5 year SHPO, 24 months community order and £200 fine.
He made a comment to a decoy police officer.
SS has said it's impossible for him to come home for 5 years, is this correct? Is SHPO states devices only.
We have 2 children in the mix of this and SS are determined we tell them. They have already contacted his brothers without permission without his conviction.
Sentencing was Wednesday and there's nothing in the media yet, how long do I need to keep checking?
Anxiety is through the roof, sorry for the rambling, my head is in bits.
Thank you for reading x
So some of you know my story of the police coming to my work in a school after my husband was arrested in October.
He had sentencing on Wednesday, 5 year SOR, 5 year SHPO, 24 months community order and £200 fine.
He made a comment to a decoy police officer.
SS has said it's impossible for him to come home for 5 years, is this correct? Is SHPO states devices only.
We have 2 children in the mix of this and SS are determined we tell them. They have already contacted his brothers without permission without his conviction.
Sentencing was Wednesday and there's nothing in the media yet, how long do I need to keep checking?
Anxiety is through the roof, sorry for the rambling, my head is in bits.
Thank you for reading x
Hi,
If his SHPO is devices only then no ss cannot dictate that he can't come home for 5 years. They can recommend that but unless they take you through court to have legal restrictions added they are recommendations. What work have you both done so far? How old are your children and what do they know of the offence and why daddy isn't living with you at the moment?
My person was in court on the Monday and it hit the media on the Friday or Saturday, unsure as I was giving birth and had more important things to focus on.
How has his brother been since they contacted him? Did he know already? Ss never contacted family members with children as he doesn't have contact with them. If there isn't anything on his SHPO then you may have grounds for a complaint.
I haven't had any backlash from the article, my person has received one negative comment from someone I used to work with and we are two years post sentencing now. I hope that your partner avoids being in the media and that you get the outcome you want with ss. If you need any guidance on safety plans etc please do ask, we're all here to help you. Sending love to you all xxx
If his SHPO is devices only then no ss cannot dictate that he can't come home for 5 years. They can recommend that but unless they take you through court to have legal restrictions added they are recommendations. What work have you both done so far? How old are your children and what do they know of the offence and why daddy isn't living with you at the moment?
My person was in court on the Monday and it hit the media on the Friday or Saturday, unsure as I was giving birth and had more important things to focus on.
How has his brother been since they contacted him? Did he know already? Ss never contacted family members with children as he doesn't have contact with them. If there isn't anything on his SHPO then you may have grounds for a complaint.
I haven't had any backlash from the article, my person has received one negative comment from someone I used to work with and we are two years post sentencing now. I hope that your partner avoids being in the media and that you get the outcome you want with ss. If you need any guidance on safety plans etc please do ask, we're all here to help you. Sending love to you all xxx
Thank you for your response!
In what ways would they take me to court? Will they up the case from Children in Need plan to a child protection plan. It all feels like a nightmare. And I work in the same school as my daughter.
My children are 11 and 7 and if it doesn't hit the media I don't think they need to know, where will I stand with this?
We haven't told the children anything apart from that mammy and daddy were having issues so he's living at Nanna's house.
His brothers didn't know at all, they didn't tell them until 1 week before sentencing, and he was arrested October 18th, and the info his brothers were given were false.
Hard to see how things can be positive now, when they should be a step forward in the right direction.
Thank you again for the reply, he has a meeting with probation on Wednesday so hoping for some clearer answers, lots of grey areas.
In what ways would they take me to court? Will they up the case from Children in Need plan to a child protection plan. It all feels like a nightmare. And I work in the same school as my daughter.
My children are 11 and 7 and if it doesn't hit the media I don't think they need to know, where will I stand with this?
We haven't told the children anything apart from that mammy and daddy were having issues so he's living at Nanna's house.
His brothers didn't know at all, they didn't tell them until 1 week before sentencing, and he was arrested October 18th, and the info his brothers were given were false.
Hard to see how things can be positive now, when they should be a step forward in the right direction.
Thank you again for the reply, he has a meeting with probation on Wednesday so hoping for some clearer answers, lots of grey areas.
Hi,
Yes they would need to increase the level of plan the children are on. You should be able to find details on your local authority website about plan thresholds etc but if they are only on cin ss may not see this as necessary. Has anyone (yourself or ss) done work with the children around keeping themselves safe etc?
A lot of what ss say is basically to make their jobs easier, if he's not at home then essentially once a safety plan is in place they can close the case and walk away. It is definitely worth identifying what work you both need to do to allow him to return home and writing up something like a phased return with timelines. For example if you are at supervised contact in the community or anywhere other than the family home you could state that you would like this to increase to be in your family home over the course of a month, do that for six months and review how you're all coping then look to increase to include one overnight stay a week etc. Doing it like that shows ss that you're aware it may not be smooth sailing and that you all need to adjust to living together again.
In all honesty I wouldn't pin too much on the initial meeting with probation, they will have their Oasys assessment to do which may not be at this first appointment. Take some time for him to build a relationship with probation and visor and hopefully they will later be onside if ss push for restrictions that aren't necessary. It can be a long and frustrating process like most things on this journey but with some research and work you can get to where you want to be. We aren't at the stage of living together as my older children don't want contact (they're not his and I think watching me go through everything has made them resent him). Ss have closed the case with unlimited supervised contact anywhere we choose and have asked that I contact them if/when he moves back in. The phased return was something that the sw said showed the level of thought I'd put into the plan and situation as a whole which is why I've suggested it to you xxx
Yes they would need to increase the level of plan the children are on. You should be able to find details on your local authority website about plan thresholds etc but if they are only on cin ss may not see this as necessary. Has anyone (yourself or ss) done work with the children around keeping themselves safe etc?
A lot of what ss say is basically to make their jobs easier, if he's not at home then essentially once a safety plan is in place they can close the case and walk away. It is definitely worth identifying what work you both need to do to allow him to return home and writing up something like a phased return with timelines. For example if you are at supervised contact in the community or anywhere other than the family home you could state that you would like this to increase to be in your family home over the course of a month, do that for six months and review how you're all coping then look to increase to include one overnight stay a week etc. Doing it like that shows ss that you're aware it may not be smooth sailing and that you all need to adjust to living together again.
In all honesty I wouldn't pin too much on the initial meeting with probation, they will have their Oasys assessment to do which may not be at this first appointment. Take some time for him to build a relationship with probation and visor and hopefully they will later be onside if ss push for restrictions that aren't necessary. It can be a long and frustrating process like most things on this journey but with some research and work you can get to where you want to be. We aren't at the stage of living together as my older children don't want contact (they're not his and I think watching me go through everything has made them resent him). Ss have closed the case with unlimited supervised contact anywhere we choose and have asked that I contact them if/when he moves back in. The phased return was something that the sw said showed the level of thought I'd put into the plan and situation as a whole which is why I've suggested it to you xxx
Hiya
We are roughly 3 months past sentencing. We have been on a cin plan for 20 months so far. We have just done a safety plan and from the feedback I have put everything and more into it that they was looking for. We are now going through a phased return home one day a week increasing after a few weeks upto 5 days by week 8 then fully home. We have both done alot of work with ss, independently and with other projects. This as all been documented. We have probation and visor team happy with how my oh is complying with everything and they don't see any problems with him moving back. They will have to have a professionals meeting with probation, visor manager, school , health visitor anybody that's been with you throughout.I have stated I want it to lead to unsupervised and so far they don't seem to have an issue with it but we will see as they said they want to check the risk level hasn't increased over the next 8 weeks. Did you state from the start that you was staying together and want him home. I did this from day one so they have been aware and I have stuck to it because they have tried putting doubts in my head but I've left them too it. Also have you got boy's or girls out new safety plan states that if we have anymore children then ss Will get involved again I'm guessing it's incase it's a girl.
My oh shpo is online only I think whoever your SW is trying to make their job easy or maybe put personal opinion in. I'd ask for a new safety plan to be done but I think it will take a while we got told our case was looking at being closed in October and we have now been told it will be open for at least a few more months
Our children are only tiny so they don't know anything and I hope they never do but we haven't been told they need to know and nothing is written in the new plan either.
Media wise my oh got put in paper 6 days after sentencing but luckily no photo or address. It hasn't been put on fb or anywhere else but I still check a lot and it's been 3 months I think it's became more of a nervous habit than anything else.
Sorry for going on I hope I've covered what I can think of
We are roughly 3 months past sentencing. We have been on a cin plan for 20 months so far. We have just done a safety plan and from the feedback I have put everything and more into it that they was looking for. We are now going through a phased return home one day a week increasing after a few weeks upto 5 days by week 8 then fully home. We have both done alot of work with ss, independently and with other projects. This as all been documented. We have probation and visor team happy with how my oh is complying with everything and they don't see any problems with him moving back. They will have to have a professionals meeting with probation, visor manager, school , health visitor anybody that's been with you throughout.I have stated I want it to lead to unsupervised and so far they don't seem to have an issue with it but we will see as they said they want to check the risk level hasn't increased over the next 8 weeks. Did you state from the start that you was staying together and want him home. I did this from day one so they have been aware and I have stuck to it because they have tried putting doubts in my head but I've left them too it. Also have you got boy's or girls out new safety plan states that if we have anymore children then ss Will get involved again I'm guessing it's incase it's a girl.
My oh shpo is online only I think whoever your SW is trying to make their job easy or maybe put personal opinion in. I'd ask for a new safety plan to be done but I think it will take a while we got told our case was looking at being closed in October and we have now been told it will be open for at least a few more months
Our children are only tiny so they don't know anything and I hope they never do but we haven't been told they need to know and nothing is written in the new plan either.
Media wise my oh got put in paper 6 days after sentencing but luckily no photo or address. It hasn't been put on fb or anywhere else but I still check a lot and it's been 3 months I think it's became more of a nervous habit than anything else.
Sorry for going on I hope I've covered what I can think of