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Sat in the car presently waiting for his sentencing

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Confusedandsad1107

Member since
October 2021

13 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 1:23pmReport post

I write this today from my car sat outside court waiting with baited breath to either see my oh walk out the door or wait for a phone call off the solicitor. I am petrified! My stomach is churning and I feel sick! I just do not know which way this is going to go. The solicitor said he'll be pushing for suspended sentence but we all know that it doesn't always go that way. I didn't want to go in at all, but I'm here to support him either way. I just don't know what to do with myself for the next couple of hours. You think your so mentally prepared for this day. It had been pushed back twice before. So it's been a roller-coaster of preparing, then having to do it again on the next date.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 1:27pmReport post

Afternoon Confusedandsad1107

Sending the biggest hug and strength, I know how anxious you must be feeling

Thinking of you and pray it goes as well as can be xx

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 1:47pmReport post

Sending huge hugs and lots of strength xx

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 2:06pmReport post

Hugs and strength to you xx

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 2:12pmReport post

Thinking of you xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 2:16pmReport post

I'm here too, thinking about you x

Rachel2022

Member since
August 2022

119 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 2:42pmReport post

Sending lots of love and strength. My husband had his first court appearance on Friday and I sat waiting in the car. It's a difficult few hours. Hope you are ok.

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 2:51pmReport post

Biggg hugs. I had to do it 3 times too so know the feeling. Hope fir a good outcome for you both x

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

390 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 4:45pmReport post

I am hoping for a good outcome for you xx

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 8:02pmReport post

@confusedandsad we are here if you need support. I hope you are ok x

RIG22

Member since
September 2022

138 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 8:49pmReport post

Confusedandsad1107 I hope all went well for for you today. X

Confusedandsad1107

Member since
October 2021

13 posts

Posted Mon February 20, 2023 10:19pmReport post

Thankyou everyone. Well, after sitting there for about an hour, he walked out shaking his head. Me thinking what the hell is going on! He went infront if the judge who said he had another trial going on and it wouldn't finish in time for him to have his case heard today. Its now tomorrow morning! It's unbelievable. I can't even go tomorrow as I have another appointment. How can they do this to people and their lives!

I really appreciate everyone's support and good wishes. Xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 6:36amReport post

Morning Confusedandsad1107

Just awful for you both, its disgusting how this can happen, xx

I will be thinking of you both this morning

Deep breath, strength and hugs sent xx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 6:51amReport post

Oh my goodness, same thing happened to us, it will definitely be today. Hopefully he's the first in, good luck xx

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 7:19amReport post

Oh goodness, you poor things. Fingers crossed for today xx

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 7:22amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 8:57amReport post

The constant moving of goal posts is torturous. I'm so sorry this happened to you both again & I'm sending you strength for today x

Confusedandsad1107

Member since
October 2021

13 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 11:18amReport post

Thankyou everyone, it was heard today and he had 2 year suspended sentence. I couldn't be happier with the outcome honestly. I feel like such a weight has been removed. Only negative is that he said someone was there from the press I think which is going to be the next hurdle. We don't live together anyway, but it's still the whole thing of dealing with any backlash.

Just move on now and take the steps needed to return to some sort of normality. Xx

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 11:34amReport post

Hi,

I'm so pleased for your positive outcome. Fingers crossed that it's not a slow news week and they have more important things to report. Onwards and upwards now xxx

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 11:43amReport post

Oh, well done. Fingers crossed for the next case in court being a doozy and you're spared the press!!



x

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 11:50amReport post

Morning, pleased to hear this outcome.

Take care of yourself x

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 2:09pmReport post

Great out one, glad that part is sll over now. Time for new beginnings.

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 3:12pmReport post

Glad this part is over for you. I really hope it stays out of the press for you xx

Confusedandsad1107

Member since
October 2021

13 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 4:00pmReport post

Unfortunately, it's in the press. Same day! Can't believe it. Its made me sick honestly.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this going forward. I haven't been named and no specific address was posted of where he lives thankfully. But it's just knowing that everyone I know will know. I'm quitting my job now as I can't bear to go through any backlash.

Confusedandsad1107

Member since
October 2021

13 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 4:01pmReport post

Unfortunately, it's in the press. Same day! Can't believe it. Its made me sick honestly.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this going forward. I haven't been named and no specific address was posted of where he lives thankfully. But it's just knowing that everyone I know will know. I'm quitting my job now as I can't bear to go through any backlash.

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 4:24pmReport post

SO MANY HUGS TO YOU xxx

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 4:28pmReport post

I'm so sorry it's in the press. I wish I had some advice for you but my son being in the press is my biggest fear. I would say thought, try not to make any hasty decisions, I have read a lot of people on here have not had as much backlash as they were expecting after it got out. Stay strong. Sending lots of strength and hugs xx

Edited Tue February 21, 2023 4:30pm

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 4:59pmReport post

Ours was in the paper the same day too, also suspended and the article was awful. Included our home address despite him not living here anymore and lots of people we know have seen it. I've not had any backlash, everyone has been very supportive of me. Don't quit your job just yet. People may surprise you. Take care and look after yourself. Post sentencing was harder than I thought it would be.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 6:04pmReport post

Evening Confusedandsad1107

I am pleased for the outcome just sorry its hit the media

Please do not leave your job, you have been through so much already you will be strong and get through this,

My sons was in the media and how they twisted it was awful but we have not had any repercussions or issues

Today its news tomorrow it will be old news and it will blow over

You do not have to explain anything to anyone and remember you did not cause this

Hugs sent xx

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 10:57pmReport post

I sorry it hit the press. Ours did too.

My advice is to come off Social Media for a bit. I made sure that my profiles were all private so no one could contact me direct unless they were friends and I just didn't look online at all. It was quite refreshing.

Someone on here gave me this piece of advice, each day that passes the article moves further down the page and papers go in the bin. You will be suprised how many people actually don't read the news. I didn't prior to this I certainly don't now.

Don't quit your job, maybe just take a few days off (if you can), see how things go. Keep your mind busy, everything will be ok.

Xx

Summer

Member since
July 2019

394 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 11:04pmReport post

So sorry to hear it's hit the media remember none of the is your fault please don't quit your job self cert for a few days see gp to get this extended if needed m, those working through these awful times need medals they are bloody lucky to have you hang in tight it will blow over xx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

436 posts

Posted Tue February 21, 2023 11:16pmReport post

My OH case got into the news, and there are numerous pages it was reported on. I was mortified, and quietly still am. But I am trying to learn that though I worry this will not change anything and will only make me ill and I have no control over the situation, therefore there is no good in worrying. I have received no effect from it being in the media. People who i know have read articles have only been nice to me. There maybe loads of people talking about my OH but i dont know. Dont do anything rash. I admit it was hard going into work to face the poeple who knew but all they said to me was 'good morning, and i am here if u need me'. I feared these people would judge me. But even if they did unless they treat you badly what does it matter what they think. I know this is easier said than done. Been in therapy for 6 months and i am only starting to learn this is my life and it does not matter what other people think. It is wht you think that matters.



hope this helps

Confusedandsad1107

Member since
October 2021

13 posts

Posted Wed February 22, 2023 1:50amReport post

Thankyou so much for your words if wisdom.

The backlash from the media outbreak has been horrendous already. I've come off fb now but my daughter has been telling me things. With my job, I understand what you've all said about not being rash etc. But none of them in work knew the situation and I feel like they would def be negative towards me knowing I was supporting him. It was a self employed job so no chance of taking days off without pay unfortunately. I came to the conclusion tonight that I can't go on with my oh. It was the hardest thing I've done, but a decision I had to make for my mental well being. I can't go through anymore and I've lost so much already. I need a fresh start, be on my own for a while and just move forward. I obv still care for him, but he needs to learn to deal with this on his own. I have been trying to stay strong for both of us for the last 15 months and its taken its toll. I guess I was blinded by love and my persona to try and fix people. Most importantly, I had neglected the one person who needed the fixing..... Myself. So that's what I have to concentrate on now and hope that my family can forgive me. Xx