Visor visit
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Last week the visor officer was in the area and tried to do a surprise visit. But my person was at work. So they have arrnaged to come over today.
My person was sentenced over two years ago (suspended) and in that time the visor hasn't managed any surprise visits as my person has been out, so it has only been arranged visits this far.
I wasn't going to tell my person that visor was planning to come back, but the visor told him anyway. I do wish that he would get a few surprise visits if I'm honest - just think it part of the visors role but can understand it is hard to do due to their other work load.
Normally my person doesn't seem concerned when this visit are coming up. But today he told me he barely slept last night and one of the reasons is todays visit...so I asked if there is anything he is concerned about and that I needed to know.
He said he has nothing to hide, but I'm now sat at home stressing because I haven't seen him like this before. Due to finances he isn't able to get counseling and it is the plan when money is better for him to talk through life post sentencing.
This is one part of living with an offender that I hate. What if the police find something? Or are coming over to say they have changed their mind about him needing to disclose to more people? All these thoughts running through my head...
Hoping that the visit goes as normal and nothing crops up that would make life harder than it already is.
My person was sentenced over two years ago (suspended) and in that time the visor hasn't managed any surprise visits as my person has been out, so it has only been arranged visits this far.
I wasn't going to tell my person that visor was planning to come back, but the visor told him anyway. I do wish that he would get a few surprise visits if I'm honest - just think it part of the visors role but can understand it is hard to do due to their other work load.
Normally my person doesn't seem concerned when this visit are coming up. But today he told me he barely slept last night and one of the reasons is todays visit...so I asked if there is anything he is concerned about and that I needed to know.
He said he has nothing to hide, but I'm now sat at home stressing because I haven't seen him like this before. Due to finances he isn't able to get counseling and it is the plan when money is better for him to talk through life post sentencing.
This is one part of living with an offender that I hate. What if the police find something? Or are coming over to say they have changed their mind about him needing to disclose to more people? All these thoughts running through my head...
Hoping that the visit goes as normal and nothing crops up that would make life harder than it already is.
This sounds like an incredibly stressful day for you both. Worry is an exhausting emotion. However hard it seems try to distract yourself with other things. We can control where our brains take us but it is tough. You have no control over your persons actions or the reasons for the visit only over your responses.
We are post sentencing but my husband is serving a custodial sentence. We will have adaptations to make when he is released but what I refuse to do is allow this to destroy our lives any further. It's a part of life that we all wish we didn't have to deal with but I won't allow it to become the whole of it.
I hope the visit goes well. Hurdles can be overcome x
We are post sentencing but my husband is serving a custodial sentence. We will have adaptations to make when he is released but what I refuse to do is allow this to destroy our lives any further. It's a part of life that we all wish we didn't have to deal with but I won't allow it to become the whole of it.
I hope the visit goes well. Hurdles can be overcome x
Free counselling is available through organisations like MIND, or through I-talk, which is NHS. There may be a waiting list though.
Oh I had thought specialist counselling for offenders was private only, but I can ask my person to check NHS routes.
Visit went well, and no surprises. My person can't explain why he was panicking, might just be how he is feeling at the moment.
Visit went well, and no surprises. My person can't explain why he was panicking, might just be how he is feeling at the moment.
Has he tried the aurora project? We are in same boat can't afford counselling at the moment oh was on waiting list for a year but his now on it and it's like a group therapy and it's free x
I'm glad the visit went well x
Hi. My o/h was sentenced 18 months ago, 10 years on both SOR and SHPO. He has 6 monthly visits from his Visor team, different ones each time. My O/h always initially seems defensive when his Visor manager visits. Within minutes of them arriving, he soon warms up although he still hates being put on the spot. Every visit has been good, and oddly quite a pleasant experience. His managers are pleased as he is doing all the right things. I think its a natural reaction, a bit like being sent to the headmasters office. I guess most people have some reaction and that the visor teams are used to it.
Hi muggins
Looking at it like you said like seeing the head teacher that makes alot of sense. Even I get nervous around the visor even tho she has been good with us both.
We try to get in with our lives but the visits do bring it all back somewhat. We have another 7 years of this and it is a good way for us to check if anything is changing for those in SOR- we discussed the new visa system for EU travel for example. Looks like my person will need to disclose his offence on the visa
Looking at it like you said like seeing the head teacher that makes alot of sense. Even I get nervous around the visor even tho she has been good with us both.
We try to get in with our lives but the visits do bring it all back somewhat. We have another 7 years of this and it is a good way for us to check if anything is changing for those in SOR- we discussed the new visa system for EU travel for example. Looks like my person will need to disclose his offence on the visa
Hi muggins
Looking at it like you said like seeing the head teacher that makes alot of sense. Even I get nervous around the visor even tho she has been good with us both.
We try to get in with our lives but the visits do bring it all back somewhat. We have another 7 years of this and it is a good way for us to check if anything is changing for those in SOR- we discussed the new visa system for EU travel for example. Looks like my person will need to disclose his offence on the visa
Looking at it like you said like seeing the head teacher that makes alot of sense. Even I get nervous around the visor even tho she has been good with us both.
We try to get in with our lives but the visits do bring it all back somewhat. We have another 7 years of this and it is a good way for us to check if anything is changing for those in SOR- we discussed the new visa system for EU travel for example. Looks like my person will need to disclose his offence on the visa