Safety Plan
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Hello All,
Just seeking some advice. Bit of back story: Ex partner of 10 years was arrested Nov 19 for 4 iioc (,from an ip address nothing actually on devices) was sentenced Oct 2020 15 months suspended on the register for 10 years and has a SHPO.
Im working with ss now as i want to supervise him with our children as i previously haven't been allowed to. We're on a cpp and i want to get it downgraded and somehow work towards him coming home in the near future. SHPO says he can't have overnight stays with anyone under 18 without ss permission. Everything else on shpo is internet based.
Im about to start inform program but want to get a head start with making a safety plan so i can present it to ss to show im taking this seriously as they seem to dismiss everything i say.
Could anyone provide any advice/tips on making a safety plan. Bit clueless as to where to start but know its been long overdue and i want to make ss do there jobs and start making changes.
Thanks
Just seeking some advice. Bit of back story: Ex partner of 10 years was arrested Nov 19 for 4 iioc (,from an ip address nothing actually on devices) was sentenced Oct 2020 15 months suspended on the register for 10 years and has a SHPO.
Im working with ss now as i want to supervise him with our children as i previously haven't been allowed to. We're on a cpp and i want to get it downgraded and somehow work towards him coming home in the near future. SHPO says he can't have overnight stays with anyone under 18 without ss permission. Everything else on shpo is internet based.
Im about to start inform program but want to get a head start with making a safety plan so i can present it to ss to show im taking this seriously as they seem to dismiss everything i say.
Could anyone provide any advice/tips on making a safety plan. Bit clueless as to where to start but know its been long overdue and i want to make ss do there jobs and start making changes.
Thanks
Hi, I don't know how old your children are. Mine are 1 and 2 1/2 year. My husband is currently under investigation for making/distributing indecent images on Kik. Our safety plan is that he can stay in the house, but that he can never be alone with the children. I have to sleep with the children in one room. He also can't do any nappy changes.
Can you suggest something similar to Social Services?
Can you suggest something similar to Social Services?
Hi Lost and sad,
I am sure there are lots of posts on here about them, I no its a ball ache looking for them, u need to put basically he will not be alone with the kids, u will deal with all toileting and things, u will take them with u if u need the loo and stuff, who they can go to if they feel something is wrong, I don't no like family members or school, ( sorry not sure on ur back story or how old ur kids r ) things like that, I brought a camera, as we wanted over night stays but I would stick to this first unless u have lots of fight in u xx
I am sure there are lots of posts on here about them, I no its a ball ache looking for them, u need to put basically he will not be alone with the kids, u will deal with all toileting and things, u will take them with u if u need the loo and stuff, who they can go to if they feel something is wrong, I don't no like family members or school, ( sorry not sure on ur back story or how old ur kids r ) things like that, I brought a camera, as we wanted over night stays but I would stick to this first unless u have lots of fight in u xx
Sorry should have said my eldest is 3 this year, i also have a son with him (accidental pregnancy) who is just turning 3 months old. Were not together as a couple right now but id like us to try and be a family and work on that. Ss have said if i resume a romantic relationship with him that basically im putting my needs before the childrens which is complete nonsense they just dont want us to be together. Ss aren't even talking about him returning home as they keep referring to shpo. But shpo says not without ss permission so feel i need to push back on that.
Ex is coming to the end of his suspended sentence and has done a lot of work with probation, safer living and the inform plus program all saying hes low risk as he will never be no risk.
Maybe i should bring this up at the next conference.
Ex is coming to the end of his suspended sentence and has done a lot of work with probation, safer living and the inform plus program all saying hes low risk as he will never be no risk.
Maybe i should bring this up at the next conference.
Have a look at the parent protect website and NSPCC.
Hi Lost&Sad
There are alot of posts here on this forum with good advice on safety plans.
If you go to LFF parent protective site they have a format of safety plan and some great tips which will help you to start.
You mentioned saferlives in your post. Have you done any session with them ? When we were preparing our safety plans we booked a combined session with saferlives and went through our safety plan with them and they had really great inputs. And also it will put more weight with SS If you have professionals involved with safety plan.
In general you can put points like no personal care by your ex, educate kids age appropriate safety rules like pants rule, you will have access to all electronic devices of your ex. You can also learn about warning signs and show your knowledge about these crimes and how you will notice any change in your ex to avoid such crimes again.
Also if you have any support circle you can mention that to SS. Like in case of emergency you will have such person to do school runs and look after kids.
I would also recommend to read The protectors handbook if you get chance. It has alot of good info.
I don't know much about your story but is SS doing any assement for your ex. Ask them for a specialist assessment as SS are not qualified enough for this offenses hence have very black and white views about it. The easy thing for them is to split the families. They made our life he'll when my son born and my husband had to live away for year. Ss wanted me to leave my husband but specialist assessment was in our favour so husband moved back home after a long fight with SS.
There are alot of posts here on this forum with good advice on safety plans.
If you go to LFF parent protective site they have a format of safety plan and some great tips which will help you to start.
You mentioned saferlives in your post. Have you done any session with them ? When we were preparing our safety plans we booked a combined session with saferlives and went through our safety plan with them and they had really great inputs. And also it will put more weight with SS If you have professionals involved with safety plan.
In general you can put points like no personal care by your ex, educate kids age appropriate safety rules like pants rule, you will have access to all electronic devices of your ex. You can also learn about warning signs and show your knowledge about these crimes and how you will notice any change in your ex to avoid such crimes again.
Also if you have any support circle you can mention that to SS. Like in case of emergency you will have such person to do school runs and look after kids.
I would also recommend to read The protectors handbook if you get chance. It has alot of good info.
I don't know much about your story but is SS doing any assement for your ex. Ask them for a specialist assessment as SS are not qualified enough for this offenses hence have very black and white views about it. The easy thing for them is to split the families. They made our life he'll when my son born and my husband had to live away for year. Ss wanted me to leave my husband but specialist assessment was in our favour so husband moved back home after a long fight with SS.
@Hopingforbest he had a psychological assessment deemed medium risk as he couldn't remember the offence. Thats been the same since the beginning though hr hasn't denied it but doesn't remember which ss have s problem with. Hes nearly finished work eith probation who have said hes low risk and has explained how he may not be able to remember the event
Hes on the waiting list for the aurora project currently so at the moment haven't had sny sessions. However have emailed today asking about the family safety plan. I have made a start and looking into more info from the places you have specified.
Thakyou all for your responses its so difficult with everything going on. Sometimes feel completely hopeless, its nice to know there is support out there. I have no family and his family dont like me so its just me and the ex supporting each other.
Hes on the waiting list for the aurora project currently so at the moment haven't had sny sessions. However have emailed today asking about the family safety plan. I have made a start and looking into more info from the places you have specified.
Thakyou all for your responses its so difficult with everything going on. Sometimes feel completely hopeless, its nice to know there is support out there. I have no family and his family dont like me so its just me and the ex supporting each other.
I've not long ago done our safety plan the social management and visor team said how surprised and pleased they were with it and that it basically covered everything they would of considered putting in it. They actually used the whole of it and never put anything else of their ideas in.
Put a list of people the children can speak to if any concerns. Grandparents nursery so on.
State all personal care will be done by you. I put on ours that oh will be supervised and they've accepted it but obviously I don't think you're would be considered if you put it.
He will not be on any school grounds and you would do all drop off and pick ups.
In an emergency you have grandparents or someone elses support to have the children.
List of every course or information you have found I did a lot of self educating with pants nspcc and so on and a ten week extension prevention course with a family worker. How many times you speak to stop it now and so on.
Explain who you would contact if you had any concerns.
Broadband restrictions on home router password changes that he doesn't know.
We made about 15 points on ours
That's all I can remember this early in the morning hope these help x
Put a list of people the children can speak to if any concerns. Grandparents nursery so on.
State all personal care will be done by you. I put on ours that oh will be supervised and they've accepted it but obviously I don't think you're would be considered if you put it.
He will not be on any school grounds and you would do all drop off and pick ups.
In an emergency you have grandparents or someone elses support to have the children.
List of every course or information you have found I did a lot of self educating with pants nspcc and so on and a ten week extension prevention course with a family worker. How many times you speak to stop it now and so on.
Explain who you would contact if you had any concerns.
Broadband restrictions on home router password changes that he doesn't know.
We made about 15 points on ours
That's all I can remember this early in the morning hope these help x