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Just a check in with you all x

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 6:54pmReport post

Evening lovlies x

Just wanted to see how you are all doing?

My week has been ok, just the usual routine, we had a video call with my son and it was good to see him laugh x

I am looking at trying to find a hobby to keep my mind busy but I have no idea on where to start, I have become a bit of a recluse apart from work thankfully it keeps me busy but weekends I find myself just binge watching on Netflix so any suggestions would be welcome xx

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:03pmReport post

I have no idea for hobbies - unless you fancy taking up cleaning at my house?? I can binge your Netflix for you??



glad you've had a good week.



sometimes the recluse thing is a lot easier than keeping it together when you're out, but you're right that a hobby is probably a good thing



x

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:39pmReport post

Hi Upset I am totally onboard with the Netflix bingeing and have now finished watching Dowton Abbey and the Crown!!

I find drawing and painting to be helpful for me and bought myself a book called 365 days of creativity which is really nice.

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

361 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:39pmReport post

Hi Upset Mum

Finding a hobby sounds like a brilliant idea. What do you enjoy doing or enjoyed doing sometime in the past? Or have you always thought I would like to have a go at that one day?

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:41pmReport post

Hi K4

Haha I don't mind cleaning :-) x

I was never in to Netflix but the last few months I literally have binged watched so much

How are you all doing?xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:43pmReport post

Seaside

How are you? How did your son get on with his interview?xx

I can draw the back end of an elephant or a match stick man lol xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:48pmReport post

Evening Alison20

I have no idea to be honest, I like to read but since the knock I have not bothered , I used to find myself lost in reading , I am not artistic in any way, I like music but even that I dont really listen anymore x

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:51pmReport post

Hi Upset,

I've spiralled a bit the last couple of weeks tbh. My house isn't as clean as I would like and I have limited motivation for housework or focusing on my business. I feel like I had got so used to functioning in fight or flight mode that my mind now needs to adjust to being normal again. I'm at a bit of an impasse with many things regarding the situation caused by the knock. Older kids accept that I am looking to rebuild the relationship and know that we speak and message regularly but that's as far as it goes. Little one too young to start pants work with but I will start when toilet training (when it's warmer, I don't have it in me to wash 20 pairs of pants a day lol) We can't start couples counselling at the moment due to his working hours and lack of childcare options. So I feel a bit stuck and it's really put a blocker in my brain to get going with anything.
I'm pleased that your sons smile brightened your week. Exploring hobbies sounds like a good plan for you. I hope everyone else is doing well xxx

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

361 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:53pmReport post

Hi Upset

If you like reading you may be able to join a local book club - you could find information on this maybe at your local library.
Other ideas:-
What about singing? There are many singing clubs/groups up and down the country.

Yoga, Tai chi , Qi gong can all be good ways to relax and good for the body and mind at the same time - maybe see if there are any classes at a local Leisure Centre.

If you like the outdoors and gardening there maybe some local volunteering opportunites to you. the nicer weather is hopefully aound the corner.....

Edited Fri March 3, 2023 7:56pm

Wildflower2022

Member since
December 2022

27 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:58pmReport post

Hi Upset,



what about gardening/growing your own? I started initially as an outlet from a very busy work life but it has saved my sanity since the knock. I grow my own fruit and veg in the garden and allotment and there is something so very therapeutic and satisfying about growing your own produce yourself. It's been great for my stress and anxiety, very peaceful. You can listen to podcasts etc at the same time if you're worried about giving your mind too much time to wander.



Wildflower x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 7:59pmReport post

Evening Distressed

I am sorry you have had a tough time the last couple of weeks but do you know what stuff the cleaning,

I would definitely wait until it is a bit warmer for potty training rather than having to wash 20 pairs of pants lol ;-)

How old are your grown up children?xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:03pmReport post

Alison20

Thank you I have never thought about a book club so will definitely research that Avenue x

As for singing I think if I joined a cats chorus I would be Amazing:-) x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:08pmReport post

Wildflower2022

Thank you x

I am not a keen gardener but I do spend time weeding and cutting the grass and totally agree with what you said about it been theraputic x

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:15pmReport post

They are 20 (at uni away from home) and 17 (uni in 2024 and looking away from home too). Their response is completely understandable, they watched and supported me through the most difficult thing I've faced and I'm their mom. It's really hard because I don't want them to feel bad for their choices as ultimately it's his choices that put us in the situation we're in. I want them to have the best start to their adult lives and to have that freedom and support to return home if they want or need to xxx

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

361 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:16pmReport post

Hi Upset

I would be first in line for a cat's chorus too and it isn't something I would personally do, but singing is supposed to be so good for mental wellbeing and a great way to make new friends.

I have taken up yoga and mindfulness in recent years and they certainly help me to calm my overthinking down and help me sleep better.

Edited Fri March 3, 2023 8:17pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:22pmReport post

Distressed,

Look at how well they have both done and will do at uni they sound so well adjusted and level headed x

Of course they are concerned as you are there mum and an amazing one at that x

We never asked to be here why on earth would we want to be but yet here we are

They will be ok and so will you xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:24pmReport post

Alison20

Haha we should set up a singing group :-)

I have thought about yoga before but my old 56 year old bones might not like it x

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

361 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:31pmReport post

You are never too old to try yoga! You could try and find a gentle yoga class or a restorative yoga class - both are more suitable to try if you are older or not very mobile/agile.

Edited Fri March 3, 2023 8:32pm

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:37pmReport post

Thank you. They're amazing kids to be fair. Your son is lucky to have you, as are your other children. I sometimes feel selfish for wanting to resume our relationship for the impact his actions had on them and for the potential future intrusion of ss in little ones life along the line. I know that they're making their own paths and I still have my life to lead too which is why I'm trying to make sure that things are as secure as they can be separately for now. I'm hopeful that the work and documentation as proof of work from me and my person will mean that ss come in and quickly close the case again once I make contact with them. I don't know how I'd cope with going through the process over and over but for the moment things are at a place that works for us and I'm grateful for that xxx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:37pmReport post

Upset I am 64 and go to yoga 4 times a week-there are so many different types of yoga I'm sure you'd find one to suit you

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 8:57pmReport post

Alson 20 ,Seaside

I will have a look in to it thank you x

Seaside I dont know why but I thought you were younger than I was , I have all these pre conceptions of who you all are it's so strange how we have never met but yet we share such deep conversations about our loved ones

I wonder what it would be like to all meet up xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 9:03pmReport post

Distressed

They will find there path in life all we can do is be there for them x

You are entitled to have your life and if it works for you all then that is your path to take and you have a little one who no doubt is your world

xx

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 9:09pmReport post

Upset..its funny you should say that, I also have ages and what you are all like in my head, I'm probably way off, but as I walk anywhere or past someone in the street I find myself thinking are any of my forum ladies close by? or have I walked past them in the street. It's a very strange feeling that I feel such a strong connection to you fabulous ladies that I will never meet but at the moment couldn't live without xxxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 9:30pmReport post

Kt

I am the same, when I visit my son I often wonder if any of the ladies there are on here xx

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Fri March 3, 2023 10:26pmReport post

Might I suggest quilling, it's just paper and glue, simple to learn, don't have to leave your home if you don't want to and low stress

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 6:44amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 7:00amReport post

I love this place. I picture you all in my head all the time. But the suggestions of Quilling and Bellringing as hobbies are the BEST THINGS I've seen! I would NEVER have thought that these were something I could do.



I am still in the recluse stage, you lovely lovely people are my social life. Thank you.

Whenever I hear a church bell I will think it's one of you



xx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 7:15amReport post

What a lovely thread to read . I read a lot and ive started journaling again which is a huge help for me .I'm starting yoga on YouTube there's lots of free classes you can do from home .I've started seeing friends and also doing things like taking myself out for lunch .I've always liked my own company and I forgot that until recently.my kids are grown and it's all about me right now , I'm being selfish and I don't care .I've always wanted to write a book so I'm hitting down ideas and putting it together in my laptop .I've cut my hours at work so I can spend more time living life .I'm 42 and still gonna lot of time left .I've 2 holidays booked also one with family another with my friend.seaside I thought you were my age I don't know why lol probably because I've son similar age to yours . Girls just go and do whatever makes you happy because after this he'll journey we are all on we deserve it .life's too short .xxi also love the idea of a book club lol

Edited Sat March 4, 2023 7:28am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 7:24amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun March 5, 2023 6:06am

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 9:02amReport post

All okay here. It's been a good week despite everything! Husband (now ex but feels weird calling him ex) has signed his part of the divorce application so that's all going through (just the first part). We've now got 5 months to sort the finances and hope he gets a job in the meantime so that the court agree the split in my favour. He has also found a flat and has moved all his stuff out, I had a cry when he left but now I feel so much lighter, like a huge weight has been lifted, I keep catching myself smiling ????

I've had to give up most of my hobbies as i can't fit it around eldest son's sports activity but I used to enjoy a walking club and a couple of other things. I still manage to go to a personal trainer once a week which is also like a therapy session! I'm early fifties so need to keep strong. I need to get back into regular yoga, it's so good for flexibility and easing tension. I've started to get out a bit with friends for coffee or wine. I find busy places really difficult post sentencing/being in the media but I have amazing friends.

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 10:57amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 11:09amReport post

I love that daffodil. I've thought about taking up boxing when I can commit to a regular class.

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 11:28amReport post

This is just great, we have bell ringing to MMA... fantastic haha xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 1:03pmReport post

Ladies as always you are amazing,

Such great ideas to pursue and I am thinking of writing them down on bits of paper and fold them give them a good shake then pick one or two and see what I end up with :-)

Daff I would never have even thought of bell ringing I could just imagine us all in one group pulling the bell rope to see who would be the first one to fly up in the air as we let go of the rope lol xx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

558 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 4:17pmReport post

Upset I think that writing the different suggestions on bits of paper and picking them out is a brilliant idea.

I recently saw an interview with Richard E Grant and he said that when his wife was dying she told him he had to find a pinch of happiness every day i thought that was lovely so I'm going to try and do that.
There are so many wonderful ladies on here and I really wish there was some way in which we could meet up xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 4:38pmReport post

Upset....

Bell ringing - with my not so petite figure, my feet would remain firmly on the ground!!!!! ....

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 5:38pmReport post

Seaside

Definitely look for an ounce of happiness xx

Smile you and me both my dear friend xx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 9:02pmReport post

I have throughly enjoyed reading this thread tonight!

Lovely to see you all x x x

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

390 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 9:26pmReport post

Okay here. I had a positive review at work on friday which made me happy. The children are as happy as ever (they are 2 1/2 and 1 year old). We're trying to sell our house at the moment (reasons that are unrelated to the knock), which proves difficult, but that might just be the market.

The relationship between me and my husband is as strong as it possibly can be under these circumstances.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 10:02pmReport post

Evening Polly x

So good to hear from you, how are you doing hun xx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sun March 5, 2023 10:50amReport post

Hey Upset xxxx

I had another dollop of sadness slapped onto my plate and had to go to ground to get through it. I'm in close touch with Daffodil, she's amazing xxx

Nothing new to report. We're over a year in now.

How are you and your son? Xx

Edited Sun March 5, 2023 10:52am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun March 5, 2023 11:22amReport post

Morning Polly x

I am so sorry to hear but I hope you can get through whatever has happened xx

Were doing ok , he is in a routine now and seems to be in a much better mindset so that puts me at ease xx