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so my boyfriend is now on the register, he is convicted for watching images and video, charged for downloading around 10 of those in various categories, we are still waiting for a sentence and the wait is killing us, we don't know how bad it will be, and all the wait and assumptions are killing us. the thing that scares me is the register, he is not a paedophile he would never touch kids, what he watched was wrong but as manybexplained here he was detached to it and didn't realize, I trust him, and I want to build a family with him, am I stupid? will he be able to have kids or will social services take them away from him (and me!) for as long as he is on the register?! alibi wanted was a family and now that i found my soul mate I dunno if I can have it with him.
People are on the sex offenders register for all kinds of reasons, its not easy but really its just there in the background and the police are very discreet when visiting etc. In terms of children I dont think anyone can answer that for you. You will have to accept that he may pose a danger to children even if you believe he would never directly harm a child. Sadly its something we all have to consider. While I'm sure many of these guys would never do anything there will be a percentage that do. It's going to be very individual as to what would happen with social services if you had a child. I think you would really need to wait and see what hes sentenced to and what risk he is accessed as being by probation and how he gets on with all of that. Having a child with someone on the sex offenders register wont be easy, there is a chance your child could be removed, they may say your partner cannot live with you or he may be able to live with you but never be left alone with the child. Get through the sentencing and all that goes with that before even thinking about children, I know that might be hard if you have always wanted kids but there's so many unknowns at the moment.
I’m in a similar situation and it’s so difficult. Am currently waiting to see the outcome of investigations and then court etc before I can decide. I have read stories of people having babies while on the register and I think it all depends on assessments and risks and is very individual. I’m trying to prepare for him not being allowed to be around if I do get pregnant, which is a difficult choice to make, to essentially do it alone!
So much waiting, uncertainty and fear.
So much waiting, uncertainty and fear.