Family and Friends Forum

Relationships

Notifications OFF

Xxx

Member since
March 2022

439 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 5:24pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun March 5, 2023 1:33pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 5:33pmReport post

Xxx

I am so sorry to read your post , no words except we are here for you sending huge hugs xx

K4

Member since
October 2022

608 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 6:30pmReport post

Oh gosh, my fury on your behalf is immense.

I hope this helps you to move on.



Hugs to you and two fingers up at your person!



x

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 6:56pmReport post

I'm so sorry to hear this after everything you've been through.

You aren't the first person on here to be in a similar situation - There have been at least 2 other posts along similar lines (moving onto another relationship very quickly).

I watch the first episode of parole and there was a guy they lied for years on it and made me wonder about my person - Although we've not been together years, I know how he's behaved for years. I wonder if I'm being foolish thinking I'm different. Watch that and this post - It's been sobering.

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 7:18pmReport post

Omg what an absolute scumbag!! I know you're probably extremely upset but see this as a blessing, it's your ticket out. It's one thing to stand by someone in this situation who has made a mistake and appreciates the stress and sacrifice on your part but for them to go and disrespect you?! The audacity! I hope you thrive now and your days are filled with nothing but excitement for your future without him. Sending hugs xx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 9:00pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun March 5, 2023 2:37pm

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

390 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 9:29pmReport post

Xxx, I am so sorry that he has done that to you. After all you have gone through and how you were fighting for him and your family.

But you and your girls will go on to have a good life without him xx

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 9:56pmReport post

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I know how hard you've been working with everything. Definitely look after yourself and your girls. Take some time to rediscover you and do all the things you want to do with your girls. Sending love and strength xxx

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 10:30pmReport post

I'm so sorry you're going through this. When I read it I just I thought he's done you and your kids a massive favour. Blessing in disguise xx

Losteverything

Member since
September 2022

216 posts

Posted Sat March 4, 2023 11:10pmReport post

xxx, I am so sorry that this has happened to you but I must say that I agree with other posters that this is a blessing in disguise. Over the months I have heard the total desperation you have felt , the struggles with Ss whilst you have offered him total support.

you are now free, take a deep breath and be happy x

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Sun March 5, 2023 8:56amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Xxx

Member since
March 2022

439 posts

Posted Sun March 5, 2023 9:44amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun March 5, 2023 1:34pm

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Sun March 5, 2023 11:15amReport post

Xxx, your comment about booty call is exactly the problem. This is what I say to my OH all the time, all this grief so that he could have a w@nk.

It's all just so pathetic when you break it down to its core.

I think we should all just start a commune of us women & our kids, burning effigies of men and penises..... Best therapy I can think of ????????????

Denzel7

Member since
December 2022

41 posts

Posted Sun March 5, 2023 1:16pmReport post

Xxx, is their Dad a supportive, engaging role model in your girls lives? And is he consistent in demonstrating this? If not, and I don't mean to sound harsh but have you thought about speaking to SS's and stopping access?

Is there a chance they will f*** off out of your life and your girls so you can all live in peace, grieve, begin to build and move on from this? If there is then, I would grab it if I was you.

I think sometimes (understatement / all the time) we put ourselves through absolute hell on this journey and our actions or focus or clear desire to do what is right for our children are not recipicated by the person who caused this mess in the first place. I think sometimes children are better off with one parent who is loving, caring, supportive and engaging rather than stressed and broken due to the actions of the other parent.

This may not be the case for you. But my ex partner is under investigation still. I was supporting and found out he was on a dating site behind my back. A moment of 'madness' apparently and won't happen again, he loves me, won't do anything more to jeopardise us all, like I've heard a thousand times.

I've stopped all contact. I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old. I've purchased books about how all families come in different shapes and sizes and so on and that the main ingredient and factor in any, is love. I tell my children they are loved so much. My 4 year old knows daddy isn't coming home but it's not our fault. He knows Daddy is in trouble with the police. I was at 2 minds and it sounds bad but for me, I want to be honest with them. I don't want them growing up finding out from someone else or hating me for no contact. I plan to keep it age appropriate and hope they feel able to talk to me about how they feel. It will affect then naturally but I hope I can help them with it.

I come on this forum all the time. I'm still massively affected my this obviously but I am coming out of recovery through therapy. He holds on to 'wanting to see the kids' but for me, the mask has slipped and I can see him now. A ticking time bomb who will continue to mess his life up as well as everyone else's. He's a sociopath who mirrors himself as a nice genuine, caring person and a great Dad, it's confusing.

As your first statement suggests - focus on yourself. Happy mum, happy children. Whatever that may or may not be. May be confiding I a friend will do you good. All my chose friends amd family know now and that has helped me to get the support I need.

Sending lots of love. You've had an unimaginable couple of years. You can choose which direction you go in now xx

Also, his actions do not define you. You are not meshed to it. You have done nothing wrong. Don't allow his behaviour to taint yours or how you act or see yourself; or the worry of what others may or may not think. Xxx, your slate is clean so remember that and keep it in the front of your mind.

Edited Sun March 5, 2023 1:23pm