Unfair
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Lately posts are full of desperation stating so many insecurities as they go through this journey.
I just feel we have lived a life with a loved one feeling mainly happy, coping with the normal day to day stresses then our world crashes down in one moment.
I feel sad as I read the guilt, regret, blame, facing ultimations and hostility WE face and yet we are INNOCENT....... Mums like me wondering why they didn't spot any signs, wives/partners that feel they let their men down in a sexual way. Children distraught at not seeing their dad, siblings bought to their knees. What a journey......
Strongly remind yourself, every second, minute, hour, week, month or year - you've done nothing wrong in this. We did our best, realise we too make mistakes or perhaps could have done things in a different way, but for whatever reason the men made their choice when they pressed that keyboard.
Whatever choice you make in this journey try consider yourself. I know only too well how you get swamped into support etc but never forget YOU matter too.....
I just feel we have lived a life with a loved one feeling mainly happy, coping with the normal day to day stresses then our world crashes down in one moment.
I feel sad as I read the guilt, regret, blame, facing ultimations and hostility WE face and yet we are INNOCENT....... Mums like me wondering why they didn't spot any signs, wives/partners that feel they let their men down in a sexual way. Children distraught at not seeing their dad, siblings bought to their knees. What a journey......
Strongly remind yourself, every second, minute, hour, week, month or year - you've done nothing wrong in this. We did our best, realise we too make mistakes or perhaps could have done things in a different way, but for whatever reason the men made their choice when they pressed that keyboard.
Whatever choice you make in this journey try consider yourself. I know only too well how you get swamped into support etc but never forget YOU matter too.....
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Agree Daffodil x
i have to be extremely strong to not let go of myself - I say this - but blips arise and that's when it's hard. Bless you with health issues you have a lot to deal with.
I hope your son (and you) copes with the next few days x I will be thinking about you x
i have to be extremely strong to not let go of myself - I say this - but blips arise and that's when it's hard. Bless you with health issues you have a lot to deal with.
I hope your son (and you) copes with the next few days x I will be thinking about you x
Smile you are so wise .
I have to remind myself sometimes that I am not to blame for any of this situation because I constantly feel that I should have been more aware of the loneliness and isolation which my son was experiencing .
I have been so focused on supporting him through this whole process that I have neglected to look after myself and my health has suffered as a result-like you Daffodil I have fibromyalgia and PTSD which was brought on by the trauma of the past 2years.
Daffodil I am thinking so much of you and your son and sending you love and strength.
I have to remind myself sometimes that I am not to blame for any of this situation because I constantly feel that I should have been more aware of the loneliness and isolation which my son was experiencing .
I have been so focused on supporting him through this whole process that I have neglected to look after myself and my health has suffered as a result-like you Daffodil I have fibromyalgia and PTSD which was brought on by the trauma of the past 2years.
Daffodil I am thinking so much of you and your son and sending you love and strength.
Smile though tears I could of wrote what you said coz I too have blamed my self and thought all what you said...
just know ladies you are not alone in all of this big love to each and everyone of yous xx
just know ladies you are not alone in all of this big love to each and everyone of yous xx
Morning ladies.. my friend was giving me a bit of a telling off yesterday for not looking after myself.
She offered to share her birthday present with me which would be a lovely relaxing day and evening but I declined saying "thank you but I'm not really up for planning anything, maybe when this is all over" (as much as it can be), she reccomended i speak to a professional but again I said "maybe afterwards at the moment nothing will help until we know whats going to happen". just feels a bit of a waste doing anything nice at the moment as I don't actually enjoy anything right now. Hopefully this will pass. Xxx
She offered to share her birthday present with me which would be a lovely relaxing day and evening but I declined saying "thank you but I'm not really up for planning anything, maybe when this is all over" (as much as it can be), she reccomended i speak to a professional but again I said "maybe afterwards at the moment nothing will help until we know whats going to happen". just feels a bit of a waste doing anything nice at the moment as I don't actually enjoy anything right now. Hopefully this will pass. Xxx
Thanks for your responses.
isn't hindsight a wonderful thing, how our lives are full of 'if only'! I always knew my son didn't quite fit in, I asked him SO many times if he was ok - infact I think that irritated him.
If someone doesn't 'open up' (men often live a closed life) there's not a lot you can do is there? Xx. Strangely enough he recently told me he suffered with depression and wished he had seeked help!!!
isn't hindsight a wonderful thing, how our lives are full of 'if only'! I always knew my son didn't quite fit in, I asked him SO many times if he was ok - infact I think that irritated him.
If someone doesn't 'open up' (men often live a closed life) there's not a lot you can do is there? Xx. Strangely enough he recently told me he suffered with depression and wished he had seeked help!!!
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Smile hindsight is indeed a wonderful thing but can be a curse as well as a blessing.
I constantly blame myself for not fully understanding the pressure that my son was under with work and academic stress even though I kept asking him if it was too much and looking back I was helping him out with assignments to a great extent.
He has always found it difficult to express his feelings because in the past when he sought help at school he was mocked and ignored by others including teachers.
I constantly blame myself for not fully understanding the pressure that my son was under with work and academic stress even though I kept asking him if it was too much and looking back I was helping him out with assignments to a great extent.
He has always found it difficult to express his feelings because in the past when he sought help at school he was mocked and ignored by others including teachers.
Smile you are so tight, I keep telling myself I need to pull myself together, I have done nothing wrong though its so hard to believe that when the world out there keeps punishing us in a so many ways. I have to start looking after myself better though, I think I'm making myself ill
Smile so many wise words as always xx
Daffodil I will be thinking of you and your son this week and send strength and hugs to you both xx
We all have so much in common about putting everyone first and leaving ourselves behind
As today is national women's day all I want to say is each and everyone of you are incredibly strong, wise, kind, caring and bloody Amazing! xxx
Daffodil I will be thinking of you and your son this week and send strength and hugs to you both xx
We all have so much in common about putting everyone first and leaving ourselves behind
As today is national women's day all I want to say is each and everyone of you are incredibly strong, wise, kind, caring and bloody Amazing! xxx
So many wise words. As women, we're so damn good at blaming ourselves for things. I made a decision early on that, however hard this journey is (and it's been agonising - but I don't need to tell any of you that) I would NOT blame myself. My son has been loved and supported his whole life and the damage he's done to our family is not our fault. xx