Name change
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We got the knock back in October. My partner has been released pending investigation and I have decided to support him. He is doing everything he can to get help with the depression that led him into all this and has no interest in ever going down that route ever again. For what it's worth, I believe him.
So for now, I have parked the worrying about how I will ever come to terms with what has happened, but am living in a state of terrified limbo about what's to come with the courts. I am so terrified about it getting into the media - I have two young children and we have a lovely community of friends and neighbours. I feel so utterly helpless and want to try and understand if there's anything practical I can do while we wait to hear about charges.
I want him to change his name to try and protect my family - he has agreed - but I don't know what's the best process. Do we do it now, before the charges land? Does it look 'bad' in the eyes of the police? He has been totally cooperative and open with them so this isn't about him trying to avoid responsibility but about protecting us. I am so scared and cry about it nearly every day.
Also, how do we go about finding a solicitor that specialises in this and when should we do that? Now before the charges, or wait until we know what we're facing?
Thanks so much if you've got this far and can offer any advice.
So for now, I have parked the worrying about how I will ever come to terms with what has happened, but am living in a state of terrified limbo about what's to come with the courts. I am so terrified about it getting into the media - I have two young children and we have a lovely community of friends and neighbours. I feel so utterly helpless and want to try and understand if there's anything practical I can do while we wait to hear about charges.
I want him to change his name to try and protect my family - he has agreed - but I don't know what's the best process. Do we do it now, before the charges land? Does it look 'bad' in the eyes of the police? He has been totally cooperative and open with them so this isn't about him trying to avoid responsibility but about protecting us. I am so scared and cry about it nearly every day.
Also, how do we go about finding a solicitor that specialises in this and when should we do that? Now before the charges, or wait until we know what we're facing?
Thanks so much if you've got this far and can offer any advice.
Welcome to the club no one wants to join. I'm sorry you find yourself here.
OH is changing his name for the same reasons as yours. You just download the deed poll document, get someone who has known him for 10 years to sign and then a high street solicitor will sign it and it is done. It costs about £40.
it is best to do it before charges, I believe.
if you have the same last name you have to do something to say you're not changing yours (we haven't got to that stage yet)
finding a specialist solicitor - I just googled our area and IIOC solicitor and went with what came up. They are charging £3k for this stage of the process. Then other costs once OH is charged (RUI at the moment).
A solicitor will also recommend that your OH will start counselling with stop so and the LFF inform course so that they can begin rehabilitation before any trial. The stopso counselling costs as does the LFF course.
LFF also do a course for partners which is free.
As recommended by other users here, I am going to get my children's school and my employer to write to the judge when we have a trial date. They will ask for reporting restrictions to help protect us. I am going to get the solicitor to advise the wording.
There is so much helpful advice on here, but the "discussion" page gets the most traffic, so it's always the best place to ask.
look after yourself too, this is a long process and it is exhausting
xxx
OH is changing his name for the same reasons as yours. You just download the deed poll document, get someone who has known him for 10 years to sign and then a high street solicitor will sign it and it is done. It costs about £40.
it is best to do it before charges, I believe.
if you have the same last name you have to do something to say you're not changing yours (we haven't got to that stage yet)
finding a specialist solicitor - I just googled our area and IIOC solicitor and went with what came up. They are charging £3k for this stage of the process. Then other costs once OH is charged (RUI at the moment).
A solicitor will also recommend that your OH will start counselling with stop so and the LFF inform course so that they can begin rehabilitation before any trial. The stopso counselling costs as does the LFF course.
LFF also do a course for partners which is free.
As recommended by other users here, I am going to get my children's school and my employer to write to the judge when we have a trial date. They will ask for reporting restrictions to help protect us. I am going to get the solicitor to advise the wording.
There is so much helpful advice on here, but the "discussion" page gets the most traffic, so it's always the best place to ask.
look after yourself too, this is a long process and it is exhausting
xxx
Hi my son changed his name before charges and he had 3 court appearences and there was no mention of his previous name in court, it has to be done before he is charged though otherwise his previous / or both names will be read out, I downloaded the deed poll free online got 2 signatures and emailed it to officer in charge and his solicitor , didnt pay anything for it or need to get a solicitor involved in it, they accepted it and bank, tax etc all accepted the deed poll name change
I spoke to Safer Lives straight after his arrest and they put me in touch with a fantastic Solicitor and we also met with Barrister 18 months before my son got his court date, cost 5 thousand but they were there for us all the way through
I would def do the name change
I spoke to Safer Lives straight after his arrest and they put me in touch with a fantastic Solicitor and we also met with Barrister 18 months before my son got his court date, cost 5 thousand but they were there for us all the way through
I would def do the name change