Good evening everyone :)
Not been on here in a while as been trying to "forget" the situation for a while.
My person has been told today it has gone to CPS and he's already struggling with suicidal thoughts, we're right back to the day of the knock with all the same dread and fear. I really fear for his mental health, it's taken 18 months to get here and he's having counselling every week, has contacted LFF in the first months, has a new job which is looking promising, has a girlfriend he loves and now it could all be blown apart. He's confided in his counsellor about childhood abuse, should this be mentioned now to his solicitor in any hope of a mitigating factor?
He messaged me this evening with dark thoughts and it sent me straight back to day one :(. Can anyone advise what happens now? he's still clinging to the chance that CPS might drop everything but from what I understand, once CPS are involved it's a case of waiting for charges. Do we contact the solicitor now? how long for CPS to respond? what happens after CPS charges? how long until plea hearing etc.
Feeling sick right now with a massive headache, this should have all been dealt with a lot earlier as my person has spent over a year trying to stay sane and alive and rebuild his life and for what - for them to now stomp all over him again :(
Thanks for any advice and help anyone can provide xxx
Not been on here in a while as been trying to "forget" the situation for a while.
My person has been told today it has gone to CPS and he's already struggling with suicidal thoughts, we're right back to the day of the knock with all the same dread and fear. I really fear for his mental health, it's taken 18 months to get here and he's having counselling every week, has contacted LFF in the first months, has a new job which is looking promising, has a girlfriend he loves and now it could all be blown apart. He's confided in his counsellor about childhood abuse, should this be mentioned now to his solicitor in any hope of a mitigating factor?
He messaged me this evening with dark thoughts and it sent me straight back to day one :(. Can anyone advise what happens now? he's still clinging to the chance that CPS might drop everything but from what I understand, once CPS are involved it's a case of waiting for charges. Do we contact the solicitor now? how long for CPS to respond? what happens after CPS charges? how long until plea hearing etc.
Feeling sick right now with a massive headache, this should have all been dealt with a lot earlier as my person has spent over a year trying to stay sane and alive and rebuild his life and for what - for them to now stomp all over him again :(
Thanks for any advice and help anyone can provide xxx
I don't know much from personal experience, but my understanding is that you should contact a solicitor now. Your person should have a duty solicitor whose responsibility they are until charges are presented.
once charged, if your person is not entitled to legal aid, they will have to then start paying solicitor.
they can choose to keep the duty solicitor (who will likely take on legal aid work) or they can look for specialist IIOC solicitor who will probably charge.
The solicitor will be able to advise on mitigating factors. The fact that person has a job and a steady relationship would probably count. Also any rehabilitative work they have done - LFF course? Stopso counselling?
From posts on here, the time CPS take varies enormously. You or your person should be able to ask solicitors about this, as they will have the local knowledge.
your person is very lucky to have a proactive and supportive person like you in their life
x
once charged, if your person is not entitled to legal aid, they will have to then start paying solicitor.
they can choose to keep the duty solicitor (who will likely take on legal aid work) or they can look for specialist IIOC solicitor who will probably charge.
The solicitor will be able to advise on mitigating factors. The fact that person has a job and a steady relationship would probably count. Also any rehabilitative work they have done - LFF course? Stopso counselling?
From posts on here, the time CPS take varies enormously. You or your person should be able to ask solicitors about this, as they will have the local knowledge.
your person is very lucky to have a proactive and supportive person like you in their life
x
Thanks for responding K4, my person is struggling again today and talking about suicide, I just don't think he's mentally strong enough to get through this and I'm fearful of the coming days/weeks :(
He suffered abuse at the age of around 10 and never told a soul until counselling began last year and is only just working through that now too xx
He suffered abuse at the age of around 10 and never told a soul until counselling began last year and is only just working through that now too xx
Thanks for responding K4, my person is struggling again today and talking about suicide, I just don't think he's mentally strong enough to get through this and I'm fearful of the coming days/weeks :(
He suffered abuse at the age of around 10 and never told a soul until counselling began last year and is only just working through that now too xx
He suffered abuse at the age of around 10 and never told a soul until counselling began last year and is only just working through that now too xx
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Hi Polly Pocket,
Thank you, it's definitely inhumane isn't it, we've waited 18 months to be back at square one with the anxiety etc.
My person doesn't have a bad bone in his body and says he doesn't know why and since he's been having counselling admits he's disgusted with himself and it wouldn't enter his head. He also has a healthy adult relationship right now, and he's had a number of long term relationships.
He was in such a good headspace until the call the other day regarding CPS . In a different crime this would have been dealt with months ago and probably whatever sentence he gets would be almost done by now :(
We're trying to keep hope of a suspended sentence or community order, he wouldn't survive a custodial. Do judges and police and CPS and such bodies not look at the person instead of the crime, my person is such a loveable human, very intelligent and caring, he just spiralled into darkness and lost his way but he's now on his way to remedying that only for him to be crushed again.
Can anybody advise on mitigating factors, anything that would help with this awful situation and help him avoid the worst :( we're going to get character references and he's going to write a letter taking ownership of his actions, I'm also going to compile a statement on how he was, what he's doing now and how he is right now and how the whole thing is affecting him. I know there are victims in these situations and I'm not disregarding them at all.
I just really fear he might not get through this and it'd also break me too ?? xxx
Thank you, it's definitely inhumane isn't it, we've waited 18 months to be back at square one with the anxiety etc.
My person doesn't have a bad bone in his body and says he doesn't know why and since he's been having counselling admits he's disgusted with himself and it wouldn't enter his head. He also has a healthy adult relationship right now, and he's had a number of long term relationships.
He was in such a good headspace until the call the other day regarding CPS . In a different crime this would have been dealt with months ago and probably whatever sentence he gets would be almost done by now :(
We're trying to keep hope of a suspended sentence or community order, he wouldn't survive a custodial. Do judges and police and CPS and such bodies not look at the person instead of the crime, my person is such a loveable human, very intelligent and caring, he just spiralled into darkness and lost his way but he's now on his way to remedying that only for him to be crushed again.
Can anybody advise on mitigating factors, anything that would help with this awful situation and help him avoid the worst :( we're going to get character references and he's going to write a letter taking ownership of his actions, I'm also going to compile a statement on how he was, what he's doing now and how he is right now and how the whole thing is affecting him. I know there are victims in these situations and I'm not disregarding them at all.
I just really fear he might not get through this and it'd also break me too ?? xxx
Does anyone have any advice on cases of communication with minors and outcomes, I know each judge can be different and each outcome different but maybe looking for advice on how to handle this:(
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Hi Daffodil, thanks for your advice and kind words.
My person has changed his way of thinking and acting massively since the knock. He had been abusing alcohol to mask anxiety and depression and also mentioned different people in his own head :(. I don't know if that would be a mitigating factor or not.
He now has weekly counselling sessions with a private counsellor who is unravelling his past and addressing his feelings of low self esteem and inadequacies. My person had childhood trauma which I am assuming also added to the situation he now finds himself in, the only person he has spoken about the childhood trauma to is his counsellor. He is addressing the alcohol issues and has attended meetings with counsellors for alcohol abuse. As I said he is also in a health relationship and has been for almost a year now, I think I've noted people on here say that if a person is attracted to minors then they wouldn't build relationships with adult women and I hope that's right.
He is now back to square one with the dark thoughts and waiting for the CPS/Police to confirm charges. I am just hoping and praying we can keep him safe until it reaches court as he is already talking about the fact he can't and won't face it :( xx
My person has changed his way of thinking and acting massively since the knock. He had been abusing alcohol to mask anxiety and depression and also mentioned different people in his own head :(. I don't know if that would be a mitigating factor or not.
He now has weekly counselling sessions with a private counsellor who is unravelling his past and addressing his feelings of low self esteem and inadequacies. My person had childhood trauma which I am assuming also added to the situation he now finds himself in, the only person he has spoken about the childhood trauma to is his counsellor. He is addressing the alcohol issues and has attended meetings with counsellors for alcohol abuse. As I said he is also in a health relationship and has been for almost a year now, I think I've noted people on here say that if a person is attracted to minors then they wouldn't build relationships with adult women and I hope that's right.
He is now back to square one with the dark thoughts and waiting for the CPS/Police to confirm charges. I am just hoping and praying we can keep him safe until it reaches court as he is already talking about the fact he can't and won't face it :( xx
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Aww Daffodil, such a lovely response I cried. Yes, they are not monsters, the whole system needs looking at as to how these men are hung drawn and quartered by the public, the police and the media :( xxx