Help :(
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So my dads case was released in the papers and the online newspaper now people are seeing this and they are taking screen shots and posting it all over social media and I just don’t know what to do I can’t bare it. We live in the same location and haven’t moved away so people know we are.
I just want to run away :(
I just want to run away :(
Hi Evie
That's everyone's worse nightmare, I'm so sorry you are having to go through it but it's here now so I guess it's about looking to minimise it for you.
Going away for a few days as O&U suggested send a good idea and I would suggest coming off social media for a while. We all know there will be another story in a few days, as for going out in the community, you're just going to have to front it out, there isn't any other way. Your family and friends will support you in sure, perhaps the first time you go to the shop have someone with you.
Big hugs, it will get better xx
That's everyone's worse nightmare, I'm so sorry you are having to go through it but it's here now so I guess it's about looking to minimise it for you.
Going away for a few days as O&U suggested send a good idea and I would suggest coming off social media for a while. We all know there will be another story in a few days, as for going out in the community, you're just going to have to front it out, there isn't any other way. Your family and friends will support you in sure, perhaps the first time you go to the shop have someone with you.
Big hugs, it will get better xx
Hi poster
i would love to go away to the beach but my mum is not yet aware it is out on social media and neither is my older brother so I feel like I need to be here for them, but at the same time I haven’t wanted to tell my mum as she suffers really badly with depression/anxiety.
It’s horrible I just want to move away if only I had the money to move :( the comments are so horrible as well like saying he should be hung and lock your kids up but he wouldn’t ever harm anyone let alone a kid.
thank you for your support I don’t know what i would do without this forum at the moment! I wish this wasn’t such a taboo subject and it was spoken out about more so people was educated more into the context of all catertories and how people can become in this position then maybe the social media wouldn’t be so cruel.
Hugs Xx
i would love to go away to the beach but my mum is not yet aware it is out on social media and neither is my older brother so I feel like I need to be here for them, but at the same time I haven’t wanted to tell my mum as she suffers really badly with depression/anxiety.
It’s horrible I just want to move away if only I had the money to move :( the comments are so horrible as well like saying he should be hung and lock your kids up but he wouldn’t ever harm anyone let alone a kid.
thank you for your support I don’t know what i would do without this forum at the moment! I wish this wasn’t such a taboo subject and it was spoken out about more so people was educated more into the context of all catertories and how people can become in this position then maybe the social media wouldn’t be so cruel.
Hugs Xx
Hi Tracey
thank you for the support I just don’t know what to do with myself it’s such a surreal situation to be in. Never did I think my dads name would be posted for the whole of my county to see :( he has done wrong but his been given a second chance which people are not allowing him because they do not know the ins and outs.
Im taking it day by day always expecting the worst but it doesn’t get easier (or so it feels right now) I’m trying so hard to be strong because I want my dad to know he has got someone and not everyone is against him.
Thanks for the support xx
thank you for the support I just don’t know what to do with myself it’s such a surreal situation to be in. Never did I think my dads name would be posted for the whole of my county to see :( he has done wrong but his been given a second chance which people are not allowing him because they do not know the ins and outs.
Im taking it day by day always expecting the worst but it doesn’t get easier (or so it feels right now) I’m trying so hard to be strong because I want my dad to know he has got someone and not everyone is against him.
Thanks for the support xx
Hi Evie
I can relate to what your going through. Our sons case was reported in the local press and it did the rounds but only between people who knew us. We had moved to a different county before it went to court or in the press which helped. The press made our son out to be something he was not which we hated but we got through it. Our son did wrong but he did not deserve to be lobbed with people who had physically abused children. He communicated online with a 14/15 year old. I know that It does get better in time. I’d like to hear from people who have not moved away and stood by the offender. What is life like in the long run if you stay put etc? I kind of wish I’d had the guts to stay put but I did not at the time. Part of me still regrets not doing so as surely it calms down after a while x
I can relate to what your going through. Our sons case was reported in the local press and it did the rounds but only between people who knew us. We had moved to a different county before it went to court or in the press which helped. The press made our son out to be something he was not which we hated but we got through it. Our son did wrong but he did not deserve to be lobbed with people who had physically abused children. He communicated online with a 14/15 year old. I know that It does get better in time. I’d like to hear from people who have not moved away and stood by the offender. What is life like in the long run if you stay put etc? I kind of wish I’d had the guts to stay put but I did not at the time. Part of me still regrets not doing so as surely it calms down after a while x
My ex husband's sentencing is on the 12/6 and it will go on the paper, I am terrified! I so sorry you are going through this now, hopefully it will all die down soon. Remember you don't owe anyone an explanation, just tell them you don't want to talk about it. Where I live and my job a lot of people know me and that I was married to my ex, so I have to prepare myself for a lot of attention. I just want to protect my little girl from the attention.
I hope today is a bit better for you, stay strong. Xx
I hope today is a bit better for you, stay strong. Xx
This is what I am dreading most. The backlash. Which could be at least 6 months away. I've got to find the right moment to break it to my daughter and prepare her. As she had depression and anxiety, it's another worry on top of worrying about what my son has to go through now and once what he's done is out in the open. I'm glad you're all here to get me through it. Typing this on my phone so pleas excuse weird typos - I can't see the whole screen
Hello everyone,
I feel like surely the only way is up from here, it’s bad enough having the knock at your door to be told of what our families have been doing. However at least you get to deal with that in your own privacy without anyone’s judgements. As soon as it hits the papers/online/social media that is truly when your whole life gets torn apart. You have all this time (for me 2 years) before the court case to attempt to get back to a functional family as much as you can then for the whole of your county to know.
Its upsetting because I’m not condoning any kind of category etc however when people read ‘indecent images’ they immediately think of young children or babies, people are not aware of the wide range of meanings this could mean.
what they also don’t get is these harsh words or saying people deserve to be dead could really trigger that person or a family member to take their life.
Has anyone stayed in the same house when it has been made public? Every forum I read pretty much the person that committed the crime moves away or the family moves away together (right now that would be a dream to move away but it’s not an option for us as lack of money)
I always say this but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without this forum and I wish I had used it before the court case xx
I feel like surely the only way is up from here, it’s bad enough having the knock at your door to be told of what our families have been doing. However at least you get to deal with that in your own privacy without anyone’s judgements. As soon as it hits the papers/online/social media that is truly when your whole life gets torn apart. You have all this time (for me 2 years) before the court case to attempt to get back to a functional family as much as you can then for the whole of your county to know.
Its upsetting because I’m not condoning any kind of category etc however when people read ‘indecent images’ they immediately think of young children or babies, people are not aware of the wide range of meanings this could mean.
what they also don’t get is these harsh words or saying people deserve to be dead could really trigger that person or a family member to take their life.
Has anyone stayed in the same house when it has been made public? Every forum I read pretty much the person that committed the crime moves away or the family moves away together (right now that would be a dream to move away but it’s not an option for us as lack of money)
I always say this but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without this forum and I wish I had used it before the court case xx
Hi there
I just wanted to say hang in there.
We are still waiting for court and papers and I am dreading the media. The grapevine is going though and people are noticing he is not around. There was an anonymous article in the paper and people are connecting the dots.
I have decided to stay for now. I feel Ihave more support here but if the children get any flack, I would probably move. I have asked my husband to leave after the case finishes/ he comes out of prison. It will be tough on my kids not to see their father regularly but I cannot see us having a normal life with playdates, sleepovers, future boyfriends or girlfriends etc. If he stays.
I don't know if it will be of any consolation but remember, those people making nasty comments on social media have no insight into the situation. Being online give them anonymity which makes them feel like they could say anything. It does not reflect on you but rather on themselves. I too wish there was more understanding of how people get to this point and I hope more awareness will be raised.
Keep your head up. Be proud of yourself for being strong and handling this not only for yourself but for those dependent on you as well.
I just wanted to say hang in there.
We are still waiting for court and papers and I am dreading the media. The grapevine is going though and people are noticing he is not around. There was an anonymous article in the paper and people are connecting the dots.
I have decided to stay for now. I feel Ihave more support here but if the children get any flack, I would probably move. I have asked my husband to leave after the case finishes/ he comes out of prison. It will be tough on my kids not to see their father regularly but I cannot see us having a normal life with playdates, sleepovers, future boyfriends or girlfriends etc. If he stays.
I don't know if it will be of any consolation but remember, those people making nasty comments on social media have no insight into the situation. Being online give them anonymity which makes them feel like they could say anything. It does not reflect on you but rather on themselves. I too wish there was more understanding of how people get to this point and I hope more awareness will be raised.
Keep your head up. Be proud of yourself for being strong and handling this not only for yourself but for those dependent on you as well.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. People post things online that they'd never dare say to your face and they make assumptions about the people concerned, without knowing the story. It's pretty ironic when you think about it - a lot of these men would never have touched a child in the "real world" or might have had chats online because it's removed and is, in their minds, totally different to real, face to face interactions. I know it's not the same, but the two things aren't a million miles apart when you think about it.
Keep your chin up and keep going. As others have said, you WILL keep going because you have to, but you'll also keep going because you CAN. You'll get through this. Remember - today's newspaper is tomorrow's chip paper!
Keep your chin up and keep going. As others have said, you WILL keep going because you have to, but you'll also keep going because you CAN. You'll get through this. Remember - today's newspaper is tomorrow's chip paper!
Evie,
i am also sending my love to you and your family. I think your all so strong and brave though I acknowledge that this situation is forced upon us and it’s either cope or let the negativity defeat us.
i don’t know how old you are but it really sounds like you are holding everything together for both your dad mum and siblings. Please look after yourself too. I hope you have a trusted friend you can go to for support.
I am also in the same area this happened. I see the benefits of moving away but it’s not possible for everyone. Xxx
xxx
i am also sending my love to you and your family. I think your all so strong and brave though I acknowledge that this situation is forced upon us and it’s either cope or let the negativity defeat us.
i don’t know how old you are but it really sounds like you are holding everything together for both your dad mum and siblings. Please look after yourself too. I hope you have a trusted friend you can go to for support.
I am also in the same area this happened. I see the benefits of moving away but it’s not possible for everyone. Xxx
xxx
Hello Bethlou23
Thank you so much for your support I am a young adult trying to keep us together, I try so hard not to be angry towards my dad but I do sometimes think how stupid can you be. He knew what he was doing was wrong and he surely knew the consequences, he is broke that his put us through this but why even keep looking in the first place but then I have to try and remember it’s an addiction and they were so ashamed.
Its so refreshing to here that someone has stayed in the same area, I really hope it all just dies down. I’m finding it difficult just to do day to day jobs as I’m a bag of nerves, every time my phone buzz’ I immediately think great now another person knows. & I don’t even know how many people have tried to contact me via social media to let me know they know as well because I’ve deactivated all accounts.
Sorry to ramble on I just find this part for me has by far been the hardest and it’s difficult to stay positive as I’m scared to even walk the dogs without someone commenting.
Xxxx
Thank you so much for your support I am a young adult trying to keep us together, I try so hard not to be angry towards my dad but I do sometimes think how stupid can you be. He knew what he was doing was wrong and he surely knew the consequences, he is broke that his put us through this but why even keep looking in the first place but then I have to try and remember it’s an addiction and they were so ashamed.
Its so refreshing to here that someone has stayed in the same area, I really hope it all just dies down. I’m finding it difficult just to do day to day jobs as I’m a bag of nerves, every time my phone buzz’ I immediately think great now another person knows. & I don’t even know how many people have tried to contact me via social media to let me know they know as well because I’ve deactivated all accounts.
Sorry to ramble on I just find this part for me has by far been the hardest and it’s difficult to stay positive as I’m scared to even walk the dogs without someone commenting.
Xxxx