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That weekly check in x

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 6:15pmReport post

Evening lovlies

It an end to another week, so just checking in on you all to make sure you are all ok, xx

Sad to see we have some more new ladies posting for the first time, I remember my first post almost 3 years ago but as we all know this has to be the best place to be for understanding and support

I know for some this week had had its ups and downs but also some positives and that is always a good feeling on this journey xx

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 6:28pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri March 24, 2023 10:47pm

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 6:35pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat October 7, 2023 12:24pm

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 7:00pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri March 24, 2023 10:47pm

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 7:11pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat October 7, 2023 12:24pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 7:37pmReport post

SoTired

Sorry it's been a tough week for you xx

I love the idea of the burgers, chips and salad especially in the posh baskets but more heartwarming to have your kids laughing and been themselves (priceless)

Polly good to have an update from you hope you are keeping strong and ok xx

I will have a listen and imagine us all sitting together sharing SoTired's chips and salad with maybe a glass or 2 of a good tipple xx

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 7:44pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri March 24, 2023 10:47pm

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1003 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 7:52pmReport post

Hi,

I'm feeling old and tired this week, toddlers are good for making you feel like this lol. Despite this I've had a decent week.
Going to add Emeli Sande Read all about it to our playlist. I feel it's fitting for us as there is so much shame and fear in our loved ones ending up in the media etc. We literally do have the words to change a nation but we're the silent warriors as society tells us that we should be anonymous. I wonder if we were to speak up how many people might rethink the actions they are about to take. Not on about your standard cavemen who sit behind a keyboard and comment on the stings but those people who like our people feel themselves spiralling into a black hole. Hugs to all on this Friday evening xxx

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 7:59pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri March 24, 2023 10:48pm

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

392 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 8:01pmReport post

It's been a good and successful week at work. I took my kids to the GP today, because they have a cold and I wanted to get some antibiotics for them. The doctor that we saw has treated the kids for the first time today. When I walked in he had a file open about my daughter, probably because he wanted to get some information about his his patients before he saw them. I read some words on the file: "No allergies.... Safeguarding issues".

He then closed the file, because he realised I saw it.

I think us non offending partners with small children will get that extra scrutiny for the next 18 years.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend x

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1003 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 8:40pmReport post

Yeah HP, I had the question about ss from the health visitor at baby's two year check the other week but fortunately someone had put it on here when they took their children to hospital so I was kind of expecting it. Our case is currently closed but was on file there had been involvement with ss. That was as far as the conversation went and in all honesty I'd rather know that all agencies involved with my daughter are looking out for her. If you flip it on its head it's opportunities for you to showcase your parenting skills. I hope your children are better soon xxx

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 10:08pmReport post

The weekly check ins are wonderful. Despite the reason we are all here, this forum is also wonderful. My week has been painfully slow but I found great joy listening to the beautiful birdsong at dusk and seeing the flourishing of spring. I had a coffee with my Mum, rescued a huge bumble bee from the road and received a fabulous slogan T-shirt from our incredible daughter to add to my growing collection. It reads 'why be racist, sexist, homophobic or transphobic when you could just be quiet'. I do wish there was a way we could use our voices to challenge the stigma we are all far too familiar with.

I also had chips x

Edited Fri March 24, 2023 10:09pm

Flower

Member since
February 2023

104 posts

Posted Fri March 24, 2023 10:30pmReport post

Hi all.
I've had a difficult week. Every week is difficult since Jan this year. There is profound sadness within that won't go away since the knock and subsequent revelations.Fear of the unknown is huge, what any of it means for any of us in our future. It's not black and white. Is there light at the end of the tunnel ? Can our family survive it. I don't know. Moments I laugh come with guilt. I wake up alone now and probably wouldn't leave the bed if it wasn't for the dog or the mortgage. Carrying on requires an effort. The interviews have been excruciating, being judged for what kind of mother I am weekly until last week has been lowest point of the week. I'm awaiting the report but have been heavily hinted CIN plan will be the case in order to track the case. I'm exhausted and it feels as if there was never a happy day. I know there were. I don't remember how it felt any longer.

Elaine2022

Member since
September 2022

6 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 12:02amReport post

Hello everyone,

I haven't been on here for a while as I got to a point where I was constantly reading this forum and I think it may have had a negative affect on me but I thought about you often!

After several months I am feeling a lot stronger, there are good days and bad with my son but we are now just over 6 months into this and haven't heard a thing from the police, sometimes feels as if the whole thing was a bad dream!



keep strong all xx

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 4:56amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1003 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 6:30amReport post

Daffodil, I'm so sorry that you've had a rough week. I'm disgusted but sadly not surprised with the police response, or lack of.
I love the idea of spotting one of you "in the wild" even better if we could have David Attenborough narrating haha; "Here we have a wild Lucy Faithfull forum user, notice how they look like a normal human but they possess some of the greatest strength on Earth"

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2556 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 7:00amReport post

I've had quite a positive week. Reassuring comments from past colleagues whom I met up with and from a close friend whose worked in prisons for 15 years.

I often think my son is locked away and they've thrown away the key. But she told me about the reports etc being processed while he's there and an insight to sex offender treatment courses. Which helps both my son and gives me an insight. So that was good.

My son is fine and chirpy - enjoying the outdoors as the season is now getting going. Mowing, ground work, greenhouse etc. He carnt wait for one of the perks, eating a fresh tomato - small things mean so much!!!!!!!

so not a bad week. Still miss him dreadfully and he's never far away from my thoughts x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 11:37amReport post

Distressed

I love Emile sande music this is one of my favourite songs x

Glad to hear your week has been ok x

Edited Sat March 25, 2023 11:38am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 11:40amReport post

hpl111

Hope the kiddies feel better soon bless them xx

Good to hear your week has been ok apart from the kids been poorly x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 11:44amReport post

Life

Love the sound of your tshirt what great words

The sun is out but a little windy but so glad spring is almost here xx

I think it's good to just check in on everyone to see your all ok and considering the journey we are all to know we are not alone xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 11:47amReport post

Daff

I am so sorry to hear what has been happening it's just appalling, hope your son is ok xx

You are such an incredible person but this must be so bloody hard on you , I am so sorry xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 11:52amReport post

Smile

Glad to hear you are both ok x

It really does make a difference when you know there are some you can talk to outside of your situation

I bet he can't wait to have some decent fresh tomatoes honestly these little things make a difference , on our visit last week my son had his first magnum icecream since he has been inside, then he had another one just to savour the taste lol xx

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 1:57pmReport post

Hi all

I've ended the week feeling like a warrior. Our nightmare started end of June last year, and I started uni in Sep having left school 26 years ago. I had my first placement this week, I'm a student mental health nurse.

As I was driving in to my placement yesterday, having dropped my 3 kids to school, I reminded my self what an achievement it is just to have carried on with my studies, past my first assignment and now be working full time on placement. I've done theis having become a single mother to 3 children overnight (2 with additional needs), dealing with my OH behaviour, coping with SS and the court case.

Some days I feel like I'm drowning but right now, I feel stronger than I ever have.

We are all warriors and we will fight together!

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 2:39pmReport post

Confused&worried

A huge congratulations to you, what an achievement, you must be so chuffed and so you should be

Becoming a single parent overnight, keeping the house together, school runs and full time placement you are so incredibly strong xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 3:18pmReport post

I'm in absolute awe of you ladies on here dealing with this whilst looking after children and blown over by those that have managed to keep focused on work and other life achievements. In comparison my life is very simple and straight forward but I constantly feel distracted and make silly mistakes.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 3:27pmReport post

Hi SAL

Hope you are doing ok x

These ladies who have children, going through this I am overwhelmed by how strong they are they like us have no choice but to get through each day, total admiration xx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 4:13pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat October 7, 2023 12:24pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 4:13pmReport post

Elaine2022

Glad your doing ok, it can be overwhelming but it is also the only place to have understanding, empathy and support x

This journey can take forever to find out the outcome of charges etc so really does test us all xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sat March 25, 2023 4:15pmReport post

We are all incredibly STRONG x

Your words Polly are so true xx

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Sun March 26, 2023 12:30amReport post

Not too bad a week, managed to take my DS to a play group, suffer agoraphobia and anxiety but seems the pills might finally be kicking in a bit, ok they group was less than 5 minutes from my home and I had a panic attack but I count it as a win.

also started counselling and it was really cathartic, she didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know, but it was the first session so I can't expect her to know everything about me straight away. However she sees me as a breath of fresh air (years of therapy has helped) as I am honest, open, candid, know and acknowledge my issues, accept what I can and can't change, however I am a people pleaser (family wise) who puts everyone's needs above my own even when it hurts me to do so. Oh and I'm guilt ridden for the choices that everyone else has made (not just talking the situation we are in). Not sure what she's doing bar listening she knows I already have a very good "tool kit" and am able to use it. But I've also asked her to argue with me so that I can get a better perspective on things, hopefully she does as sometimes I do need someone to argue with me so I can see better.

oh and we will be getting a new SW for the kids and SS are taking the serious failings they have and are doing seriously. The social worker manager I am now communicating with had taken the complaint I raised very seriously.

yeah so I'm going with a win this week

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

561 posts

Posted Sun March 26, 2023 7:16pmReport post

Evening everyone hope you're all ok ?

My heart really goes out to those of you on here who are having to cope with young children in addition to this total s***tshow I remember just how exhausting that is.

Love the idea of a playlist and my song currently is Something inside so strong which I would dedicate to all the amazing people on here

Been a bit of an up and down week really: positive being that son had an interview on Friday for a job with Hertz car hire which seems to have gone well so waiting to hear back.

Im trying to stay positive but had a major wobble yesterday and just broke down in floods of tears but today is a better day.

Onwards and upwards xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Sun March 26, 2023 7:36pmReport post

Evening Seaside

Sorry you had a bad day but it is better to.let it out rather than keep it in xx

You have come so far in this journey and some days we are allowed to have a wobble xx

Everything x that your son gets some good news, keep us posted xx

Hugs sent as always xx

Kt

Member since
January 2023

180 posts

Posted Tue March 28, 2023 10:15amReport post

Hello Lee, nice to virtually meet you. I'm glad you are back, I have read so many good things about you on this forum xx

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1003 posts

Posted Tue March 28, 2023 11:00amReport post

Hi Lee,

I'm so glad you're back. I was just thinking yesterday about posting to check how you and lost are as I know some people are in direct contact with you. How are you? xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2556 posts

Posted Tue March 28, 2023 12:43pmReport post

Great news welcome back Lee x

yes Upset and I have a lot in common for sure - ive never quite got over her offer of supporting me when I feel the time is right to visit my son. That offer, from someone I've never met , took me back, so very very kind and thoughtful..... x

Edited Tue March 28, 2023 1:00pm

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

561 posts

Posted Tue March 28, 2023 1:13pmReport post

Oh Lee I am so pleased that you have decided to come back I have really missed your support and advice.

Hope all is going well with you and sending you a massive hug xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2403 posts

Posted Tue March 28, 2023 2:54pmReport post

Lee

Welcome back lovely, we have ALL missed you terribly!xx



Smile thank you x my offer will always be there xx

Edited Tue March 28, 2023 2:55pm

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Tue March 28, 2023 2:55pmReport post

Yay!!!!! Lee is back x

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Tue March 28, 2023 4:37pmReport post

Yay Lee is back. In my first few weeks Lee helped so much. It is nice to see you back. I do not post much, but find this forum so helpful. X