Continually Overthinking
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I regularly see a guy from work in our area, so I asked if he lived locally.
Naturally he asked where I lived - oh how the lie flowed, told him a different nearby street.
Just by lying - I’ve got to remember that lie, I was annoyed by being friendly I’d possibly opened a can of worms, my life is complicated enough.
I do feel angry at times I’m forced to overthink every little thing I do and say. It’s a horrible consequence of this crime, it really gets to me at times...... I want to feel free and not be on my guard all the time.
Naturally he asked where I lived - oh how the lie flowed, told him a different nearby street.
Just by lying - I’ve got to remember that lie, I was annoyed by being friendly I’d possibly opened a can of worms, my life is complicated enough.
I do feel angry at times I’m forced to overthink every little thing I do and say. It’s a horrible consequence of this crime, it really gets to me at times...... I want to feel free and not be on my guard all the time.
Smile it is so hard isn't it?
We moved to a different area -not just because of the knock but greatly influenced by it and it is a constant struggle for me to maintain the lies and pretend to family members and friends who know nothing about what happened ( thankfully nothing in the media) that everything is great and I'm happy to be here when the reality is that I am lonely and sad and I grieve for my old life before all this happened.
I had a busy life and lots of friends and now I'm totally alone and anxious about meeting people.
We moved to a different area -not just because of the knock but greatly influenced by it and it is a constant struggle for me to maintain the lies and pretend to family members and friends who know nothing about what happened ( thankfully nothing in the media) that everything is great and I'm happy to be here when the reality is that I am lonely and sad and I grieve for my old life before all this happened.
I had a busy life and lots of friends and now I'm totally alone and anxious about meeting people.
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Smile I'm having to try and stop myself but do have times when I'm very angry at what my son has put us through he has not only messed up his own life but also totally destroyed the life I had previously.
He has been loved and supported all his life and we have always tried to do the best for him-yes I understand that there were other factors which led him to commit the offence ( social isolation, low self esteem etc) but he has thrown away a good career and forced us to live a lie .
Today I just feel like walking away and being totally alone so I'm going to go out somewhere.
He has been loved and supported all his life and we have always tried to do the best for him-yes I understand that there were other factors which led him to commit the offence ( social isolation, low self esteem etc) but he has thrown away a good career and forced us to live a lie .
Today I just feel like walking away and being totally alone so I'm going to go out somewhere.
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We have to keep optimistic - look out for blue clouds in the storm and fight on (suppose we have no choice)!
Sometimes these fears get a tight grip that never seem to materialise in reality. So really must try to live our lives as we go forward. X and we can...,, x
Sometimes these fears get a tight grip that never seem to materialise in reality. So really must try to live our lives as we go forward. X and we can...,, x
Evening Ladies x
I really try not to overthink but sometimes it gets the better of me! Then panic sets in
But what choice do we have but to get through each day,
I dont socialize at all become a bit of a hermit sad I know :-)
But tomorrow is Thursday another day and we will all put our big girls knickers on and get through as best we can xx
I really try not to overthink but sometimes it gets the better of me! Then panic sets in
But what choice do we have but to get through each day,
I dont socialize at all become a bit of a hermit sad I know :-)
But tomorrow is Thursday another day and we will all put our big girls knickers on and get through as best we can xx
Big girl knickers all ready for Thursday xx haha xxx
Big girl knickers and warrior woman T-shirt on tomorrow xx
Smile ;-) xx
Seaside lol xx
Seaside lol xx