Family and Friends Forum

Hi all, i wnted to post here for a bit of advice as you all are a lot more familiar with this than I am. For background, I am here because my brother in law is on bail under investigation for online chats with a child (was a fake vigilante profile) and images on his phone. We dont see him, and my own children do not know this has happened. However, i have taken the opportunity to talk with them again about safety online with pictures etc. This isnt directly related to someone who is an offender, but more of a general question, if thats ok? Please tell me if not.

Yesterday, my daughter (11) told me there was some issue with some of her friends in the whatsapp group that had upset people. I therefore had a look at her phone to see the messages. Harmless stuff.

However, I did then look at another group, and in it were some photos that another girl in the class had sent to the group. They were posed photos, possibly selfies, of her pouting at the camera while lying back on a cushion on a bed wearing just a crop top - you know those soft bra things that young girls wear before they need an actual bra. Essentially, it was a photo of an 11 year old in her underwear. She looked a lot older though as she was wearing make up. I'm sure it was entirely innocent and the girl just thought it was a nice photo, but my mind was immediately racing... It is exactly the sort of image im sure many of our people have looked at and if it got into the wider world... Ive tried to find a definition of what Cat C images are and it seems they would include erotic posing. That doesnt seem to be defined, but if this image had been of an adult in a bra I would say it would obviously be erotic, if you see what i mean, so would it count? I dont know enough about it really.

Sensibly, she had already deleted it from her phone but it was still visible in the chat. I said I needed to tell the school, so they could talk to the girl about online safety.

I started to take a screen shot to show school and then stopped cold in my tracks - this would mean i potentially would have an image on my phone and if I emailed it to the school i would be distributing... even if i was doing it for a entirely justifiable purpose. I have told the school in person instead. I guess now we just delete it from her phone and ask her to tell us immediately if anything like that appears again?

Before I joined this forum I dont think Id have even considered this. Isnt it awful we have to think this way? Or am I overthinking it and it is just an innocent photo?

Hi thank you both. Yes, i did make me feel uncomfortable and to my eye was provocative, though I am sure the child involved absolutely did not intend it to be. I dont want her to get into trouble, and Im sure she won't, but I hope they will speak to her so she will be more careful. My daughter got really upset when I took the phone to show her dad, she thought she was in trouble. I told her she absolutely wasnt and was being a kind friend and did exactly the right thing, but she did need to tell us if she sees anything like that again. So it was a good discussion in the end.

@Clarkestaff yes i saw your post at the weekend and actually yesterday morning had had a chat with my 14 year old son about it and what might happen, inadvertently, if he gets involved in images of any kind even while trying to do the right thing. So he needs to tell us, if anything like that happens and we will help him manage it. Terrible we have to have such conversations, but in a way its good so thanks for the support from this forum.

Frankly, I feel completely sick that my brother in law has been looking at images that may have looked very much like this. He needs help but definitely deserves whatever consequences are coming to him. Young kids shouldnt be treated as criminals for trying to help their friends though.