2 years after the knock!
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Hello everybody,
I just wanted to give a quick update on our tumultuous 2 years since the knock. The first 18 months were so painful there is no other way to describe it, the last 6 months have been somewhat more positive. My husband has now completed his Ihorizon course (thank you Lee for invaluable advice re:this) he didn't like it to start with but ended up enjoying it and was sad to say goodbye to other members, he realised everyone on his group were ordinary people who made a dreadful mistake and want to put this offence behind themi, his 12 month sentence has also completed with just 2 more months left of his suspension. He has worked so hard to prove he is a good person who made a terrible and life changing mistake, he has completed so many other courses and is now working with the probation service to offer advice/education re:this offence to people in the legal system who are clueless as to how and why these offences do and can happen. He has a purpose now to live a better and more fulfilling life. We are both still having counseling to help us deal with the ongoing hostility of some family and friends but we are both coming to terms with the way things are now. I practice meditation every day which helps and I have returned to work (part time) and cannot thank my colleagues and friends for their magnificent show of support to me and also my husband. I know attitudes are difficult to change and to this day cannot understand why we have such an unforgiving society, I know there is so much controversy around any offences to do with children and I thoroughly endorse that but what I can't accept is if people commit these offences, can demonstrate remorse and pay the price via court hearings/publicity/prison/mandatory coursework etc why does the punishment have to be lifelong! I feel personally this will never leave us and am constantly reminded on a daily basis, applying for insurance, reporting to police when having our grandaughter staying with us and going away on holiday, unannounced visits by police to check his phone, constant worry in case one of us accidentally opens something, the list goes on. I am not disillusioned, just sad and frustrated that my good and kind husband has been defined by one regrettable mistake. My next mission is to tackle google to have his photographs at least removed, I'm not sure if it is too early to do that yet , if anyone has any good advice it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all for reading, love and prayers to everyone going through this journey.
Katie xxxx
I just wanted to give a quick update on our tumultuous 2 years since the knock. The first 18 months were so painful there is no other way to describe it, the last 6 months have been somewhat more positive. My husband has now completed his Ihorizon course (thank you Lee for invaluable advice re:this) he didn't like it to start with but ended up enjoying it and was sad to say goodbye to other members, he realised everyone on his group were ordinary people who made a dreadful mistake and want to put this offence behind themi, his 12 month sentence has also completed with just 2 more months left of his suspension. He has worked so hard to prove he is a good person who made a terrible and life changing mistake, he has completed so many other courses and is now working with the probation service to offer advice/education re:this offence to people in the legal system who are clueless as to how and why these offences do and can happen. He has a purpose now to live a better and more fulfilling life. We are both still having counseling to help us deal with the ongoing hostility of some family and friends but we are both coming to terms with the way things are now. I practice meditation every day which helps and I have returned to work (part time) and cannot thank my colleagues and friends for their magnificent show of support to me and also my husband. I know attitudes are difficult to change and to this day cannot understand why we have such an unforgiving society, I know there is so much controversy around any offences to do with children and I thoroughly endorse that but what I can't accept is if people commit these offences, can demonstrate remorse and pay the price via court hearings/publicity/prison/mandatory coursework etc why does the punishment have to be lifelong! I feel personally this will never leave us and am constantly reminded on a daily basis, applying for insurance, reporting to police when having our grandaughter staying with us and going away on holiday, unannounced visits by police to check his phone, constant worry in case one of us accidentally opens something, the list goes on. I am not disillusioned, just sad and frustrated that my good and kind husband has been defined by one regrettable mistake. My next mission is to tackle google to have his photographs at least removed, I'm not sure if it is too early to do that yet , if anyone has any good advice it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all for reading, love and prayers to everyone going through this journey.
Katie xxxx
Hi Katie28
Thank you for sharing such a positive post
He has really made such huge steps to address what he has done
I wish you both all the best in been able to move forward and bring happiness back in to your life xx
Thank you for sharing such a positive post
He has really made such huge steps to address what he has done
I wish you both all the best in been able to move forward and bring happiness back in to your life xx
Thank you both Lee and Upset Mum for your kind words. They mean alot. Xxc
Can I ask about the Horizon course. When I google it, it appears to be run though probation. Is this correct? should my OH ask his PO about it if its something he wants to do or can we arrange it ourselves?
To be honest, he would struggle at the moment because he works 6 days a week and has unpaid work on a Sunday as part of his sentence.
I think it would be really beneficial for him, he got so much from NA that I think group work with others in his situation would make him feel less isolated.
To be honest, he would struggle at the moment because he works 6 days a week and has unpaid work on a Sunday as part of his sentence.
I think it would be really beneficial for him, he got so much from NA that I think group work with others in his situation would make him feel less isolated.