Hi everyone,
I've frequented this site for a couple of years now, although not a regular poster. I read many of your stories and take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone, take on board all the advice and admire your strength and bravery.
I apologise for what may be a long post I just want to express some feelings.
Bit of backstory, I don't live with my family member but they got the knock back in 2020. This was due to a flagged IP address. Fast forward almost 3 years and I happened to be at their home when there was another knock. I had read about the effects of the knock and had felt grateful that I wasn't there to witness it first time around. But this second knock - I answered the door - to a guy in plain clothing and a clipboard. I genuinely thought it was a doorstep caller. You can imagine that my heart dropped when he informed me he was from the police station. I got my family member and went into another room and had a panic attack. Something which I've suffered with since the news of the first knock.
All for this man to come into the house and state there would be no further action, nothing had been found but he needed my family member to sign something to say he wouldn't be getting his phone back as they'd lost it.
Obviously this is the news we had hoped for. But almost 3 years of trauma? 3 years of anxiety, panic attacks, breakdowns and a suicide attempt. For what??
I wish I'd had the balls to say to him, do you realise what you are putting families through?
I am obviously relieved, but I'm also anxious, sad and angry. I also feel a bit lost, this has been in the back of my mind for the like 20 months. It's almost like I don't know how to think about anything else. I've got in touch with my therapist and hopefully can meet with her soon to work through some of these emotions. But for now I'm ranting here because there's really no one else to talk to. Thanks everyone x
I've frequented this site for a couple of years now, although not a regular poster. I read many of your stories and take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone, take on board all the advice and admire your strength and bravery.
I apologise for what may be a long post I just want to express some feelings.
Bit of backstory, I don't live with my family member but they got the knock back in 2020. This was due to a flagged IP address. Fast forward almost 3 years and I happened to be at their home when there was another knock. I had read about the effects of the knock and had felt grateful that I wasn't there to witness it first time around. But this second knock - I answered the door - to a guy in plain clothing and a clipboard. I genuinely thought it was a doorstep caller. You can imagine that my heart dropped when he informed me he was from the police station. I got my family member and went into another room and had a panic attack. Something which I've suffered with since the news of the first knock.
All for this man to come into the house and state there would be no further action, nothing had been found but he needed my family member to sign something to say he wouldn't be getting his phone back as they'd lost it.
Obviously this is the news we had hoped for. But almost 3 years of trauma? 3 years of anxiety, panic attacks, breakdowns and a suicide attempt. For what??
I wish I'd had the balls to say to him, do you realise what you are putting families through?
I am obviously relieved, but I'm also anxious, sad and angry. I also feel a bit lost, this has been in the back of my mind for the like 20 months. It's almost like I don't know how to think about anything else. I've got in touch with my therapist and hopefully can meet with her soon to work through some of these emotions. But for now I'm ranting here because there's really no one else to talk to. Thanks everyone x
Hi,
I don't really have any wise words but really didn't want to read your post and not respond. Firstly I am so sorry you are experiencing what sounds like PTSD resulting from the Knock. Many here can relate to the trauma we are left with. The timescales of these investigations are appalling and the consequences for all concerned are long lasting. A result of NFA is a bittersweet situation as the news is positive but the lasting trauma is the same. I'm glad you are seeking support and send you strength xx
I don't really have any wise words but really didn't want to read your post and not respond. Firstly I am so sorry you are experiencing what sounds like PTSD resulting from the Knock. Many here can relate to the trauma we are left with. The timescales of these investigations are appalling and the consequences for all concerned are long lasting. A result of NFA is a bittersweet situation as the news is positive but the lasting trauma is the same. I'm glad you are seeking support and send you strength xx
Thank you for your reply. I just wanted to get all my thoughts out really because no one else knows so I feel like sometimes I can bottle everything up which tends to make it worse. I appreciate the time you took to reply. Hope you are okay x